What if my boyfriend wants to adopt my child and my child's dad won't give up his rights?

Question

My boyfriend and I are getting married next year. He has been there for my daughter more than her dad has been there for the last 3 years. My daughter's dad doesn't want to get a car seat, clothes for her, and food. That is my job he says. He has no rights or visitation. i am the legal custodian. He has hit and admitted to it. he has another kid 3 months older than her. He sees him more than my daughter. He told me that he'd rather have a son than a daughter. I think that is messed up. He's a messed up dad because he puts vodka in orange juice. And expects my daughter to drink it too. Uh uh. Not happening. NOw what's ur answer?

Answer 1

I am an adoptive parent and a step-parent. Here is all I know about step-parent adoption.
State laws on stepparent adoptions vary. Most States have a streamlined process for adoptions by stepparents whereby the judge hearing the adoption petition has the ability to dispense with the requirement in State laws for an adoption home study. Some States, however, will not approve a stepparent adoption unless the custodial parent has been married to the stepparent for 1 year or longer.

When a stepparent wishes to adopt a stepchild, the child's parents (the stepparent's spouse and the noncustodial or absent parent) are usually both required to consent to that adoption. In consenting to an adoption, the noncustodial parent relinquishes all parental rights and responsibilities, including child support. If the noncustodial parent objects to the proposed adoption and refuses to consent to it, State laws may prevent the adoption from proceeding.

Some State adoption laws specify special circumstances under which the noncustodial parent's consent is not required. Other States have made special provisions in their adoption laws to allow stepparent adoptions to occur, even over the objections of the noncustodial parent, in cases where the noncustodial parent has failed to maintain communication with the child for a specified period of time.


Here's a link to more info about stepparent adoption
http://naic.acf.hhs.gov/pubs/f_step.cfm

Here is a link to search statutes by state for issues related to child adoption. Results will provide summaries of State statutes (and full text of laws, in some cases).
http://naic.acf.hhs.gov/general/legal/statutes/search/index.cfm

Answer 2

Be very carful about what you are trying to do.... You are trying to take the childs father away, even if he is a jerk and may not pay child support, your child still knows who his father is. Boyfriends dont hold much weight in court. If he wants to be a dad to your child, why are the two of you not married, then he would be the dad.

Answer 3

To my knowledge, the dad cannot be forced to give up his rights unless he has been deemed unfit, or is not providing child support. I'm not even positive that he can be forced to let someone else adopt his child then. You should give Legal Aid a call (or Family Court - someplace like that), and see what exactly the law is in your particular situation.

Answer 4

is he an active parent? Or is he just the sperm doner. How old are your kids? Why does your boyfriend want to adopt them?

If he's around and he is part of their lives, and there isn't some huge financial reason for your boyfriend (not you husband, which is also weird BTW) to adopt them then you're being unreasonable.

If he's NOT part of their lives, then the courts can terminate his parental rights. But they don't like to.

But make sure that this boyfriend is going to be around forever and isn't just a flavor of the week. If he is then you shouldn't have him adopt them at all.

Answer 5

theres not much you can do about it, until your child is old enough to change his/her name on there own. Doesnt matter if he pays child support or not. Or if he has a part in the childs life or not. He is still the biological father. That you can not change. You can prove him to be unfit, all that will do is keep him from seeing the child. Only way you can have your b/f adopt him is if the father signs off on the child. Sorry... I have been in your position.

Answer 6

If you can't convince your child's dad to give up his rights, your only recourse would be to go to court and seek to terminate his rights. To do that you would have to demonstrate that your child's dad has abandoned him/her. Most courts are reluctant to terminate a parent's rights unless it's a real clear case.

However, I am concerned why you would want to have a "boyfriend' adopt your child. Until this man has made a legal commitment to you, in other words married you, why would you have him adopt your child? Hasn't your child already lost one dad?

Answer 7

you have tp prove that the dad is a bg time loser and the new dad will do a better job, it is really hard , i know this because my sons dad is a loser and wont give up his rights.you have to prove he hasnt been in this child life and doesnt pay child support, then more bad th9ings the better, but it will be really hard. good luck and get a good lawyer.

Answer 8

first is the childs dad in his or hers life and is the childs dad good to the child and if he is just your boyfriend why would you want him to adopt or are you getting married if you are planning on getting married and the childs dad isnt in his life talk to a lawyer if he isnt up on his child support you could have a good chance of him giving up his rights good luck in whatever you do

Answer 9

If your childs father doesnt pay child support or is no longer living in the home you can file for the courts to review your case and see about temp adoption and they will investigate further adoption if you allow them too. costs money though.

Answer 10

That is not fair to your child or his biological dad. Just because you have a new partner, doesn't mean he can replace his/her dad in his/her heart.
Someone doesn't want to relinquish the rights of being a Dad, He shouldn't have to be force.
This has mayor consequences, do not think of yourself, think about your kid.