what can you do if you have grandchildren that are terribly spoiled and obnoxious? they are boys 6 and 9?

Question

the mom and dad, (the mom is my daughter) believe in talking and DO NOT allow physical dicipline and thats okay with me but I seem to see conflict between the parents about what dicipline should be used ... the kids take that indecision and manipulate their parents, then must the rest of the family put up with these brats?

Answer 1

That's a tough one...the only thing you can do is lay down the law in your home. You can't make bad parents good. But you can control your home and your situations. Give the kids and parents your rules in your home and if they don't abide, refuse to babysit or to have them over. If you have a good relationship with your daughter, sit her down and talk to her about it. Unfortunately for you and them is at 6 and 9 it might be too late to instill good discipline in them.Their personalities are formed at 2 years of age. But there is always hope if mom is willing to listen to you.

Answer 2

Tell the daughter and her family that you and family are very uncomfortable and worry about the way the boys run amuck! Buy her a series of Nanny shows from tv or call them to visit her! True love is the ability to say No! If there is harmony in their marriage it won't last long because of the inconsistencies and the boys actions will worsen into illegal offenses! Then they will be dealing w/counselors/law/forced parenting classes, etc. !! That will get their attention! According to where you live the oldest may be old enough for juvenile detention! Another way to get attention! They are harming the boys and not teaching them to be productive adults which is the ultimate goal for parenting. Until they open their eyes and do something just set the rules at your house and make the boys visits strict but fun. If they don't obey a rule then they can't bake cookies with you. They must clean up every mess that they make, etc. and stick to it. They are learning to obey and learning to show you and your home respect! I have had the same issues with my daughter and her two boys but she is doing it alone which adds more anger and discontent because the dad doesn't see them! And to top it off one boy has ADHD. I keep him alone for about 10 days and started a natural supplement and a daily schedule. He was so much better in about 4-5 days that others couldn't believe it.We ahve been making paper mache lately and it has all been on the table and in the item is is making! Bless you and stick with it! PS -copy all of the answers and give her a copy and maybe she will get the HINT!

Answer 3

Obviously these kids are starved for love and attention. With love comes discipline. Sometimes corporal punishment must be administered. I was told that by a grade school counselor when I went into counseling for my second graders behavior every morning before school. One thing that I know that must be instituted is consistency! Both parents need to be on the same page so there's no chance for the kiddies to try to manipulate the situation. It's not too late. For every action there will be a reaction and one they may not like. Consequences! If there aren't any they will reek havoc on the entire family and in the world, friends, school, jobs, life. If they continue to exhibit anti-social behavior because that is what they are doing they could end up being career criminals, strung out on drugs, in prison or dead. It has to start somewhere. As grandparents we can back up the parents when they are trying to discipline in responsible ways and not let the child see any division. we can love and spoil them but we have got to help the parents, it truly does take a village to raise a child! Godspeed.

Answer 4

I guess you should talk to your daughter about it, only if she is open to discussing things like that with her. Let her know that you can see the manipulation and what they are doing that lets their kids manipulate them. You could just make her aware of the fact, you don't have to force yourself on her.

At your house, you can't do anything physical.. i think you should respect your daughter's wishes. But you could have them stay in a boring room 10 min each time they do something bad. They're young enough to learn something from 'time-out' no matter how mean they are.

Answer 5

That's really tough, because, as grandparents, our job is to spoil our grandchildren and then send them home to their parents. I agree that physical punishment is not the answer, but the parents need to get together and decide what the right punishment is and give a united front with the boys. If that doesn't work, pull their ears until they yelp, lol.

Answer 6

Ask them to seek council at a local church. That's what I'd do. Let your daughter know that when they are at your house you have to have some kind of rules with the kids & maybe if she sees you taking the iniciative & it works then she will to. Be honest with her...you're her mom. My mom gives me advice all the time. Tell her ppl aren't going to want to be around your grandkids & that she should try to teach them to act more properly. Let her know you're saying this out of love for her & the kids. I wish you the best of luck! God bless. : )

Answer 7

As a grandmother you cant "do" anything. The parents will regret their decisions eventually (hopefully) and correct their ways. However, at your house, your rules apply. Make that known and enforce it.

Answer 8

talk to the parents and have them crack the whip or not bring them to visit.

Answer 9

change the locks and go on a cruise

Answer 10

TOUGH QUESTION....IT'S LIKE THIS MY CHILDREN HAVE THERE RULE BUT SO DOES GRANDMA AND WHEN THEY ARE AT MY HOUSE ITS GRANDMAS' RULES...YOU OBEY OR YOU GET TIME OUT OR A TAP ON THE HAND OR BOTTOM ....GRANDMA RULES....