What are the benefits of having children?

Question

Can anyone tell me? I can't stand kids. Not all women were meant to be mothers, you know? When my friends tell me they can't wait to "have a family", I 'm like, What the hell are you talking about?! The idea of it disgusts me! Why on earth woud you want to give up any chance of future happiness (for yourself) and freedom just to have some guy's litter? I've even asked MY OWN MOTHER this, and even she confessed, she could have done a lot more with her life and career if she didn't have a family. I agree. The first step of avoiding the "desperate housewife dilemma" is not to become one in the first place, right?
What do you think?

Answer 1

Not everyone is meant to have children. Two of my brothers and their wives didn't have any children. They have done so many things in their lives they couldn't have done if they had kids. Especially travel. I had three boys when I was very young. I loved my kids, but they don't come with directions. One of them is now an awful person who I am afraid of and ashamed of. the other two are great. No guaratees. I really enjoyed them as babies, but it gets old too. when boys are about eight years old they become monsters you don't recognize and you're sure they need counceling. I've never felt so much love and cried so many tears over anything like I have my children. parenting is not for people with goals that can make the world a better place with their education. My oldest makes me the happiest when he's in jail and I know he's safe and eating three meals a day. My youngest son is the best Daddy anyone could ever hope for, and he loves every minute of it. When in doubt, don't have kids. They need a committed knowledgeable person in early child education, who knows how to take out slivers and get gum out of hair. Forget that new car you want, you need a bigger house and you have to buy school clothes.

Answer 2

I agree with you that not all women were meant to be mothers. If you're not feeling it, don't do it. However, there are different "benefits" for every women when it comes to having children. For me, having a child with my husband was the ultimate realization of our love and commitment to each other. We two people, actually MADE this baby - it is one of the most amazing and indescribable feelings in the world to give birth. All the "freedom" and "happiness" I had before now seems shallow and self-centered. I may not have as much freedom, but I could not ask for more happiness, even when she is driving me crazy! Some people also believe that once they have children they will never truly die, because their legacy lives on in future generations. Others believe that even if they aren't able to change the world, their children may do so.

Answer 3

I couldn't stand children either when I was young, and I also swore I would never have children of my own. When I became pregnant, I was taking birth control pills (correctly, I might add), and was dismayed at the realization I was pregnant. I did a lot of soul searching then, trying to decide what was most important to me; my comfortable life, or my child?

I chose to have my daughter, and I have never regretted it. I don't feel I have 'lost' anything and, given the same circumstances all over again, I would make the same decision. My happiness was not diminished by her life, but enriched beyond measure. I also found that freedom doesn't end with parenthood - it may take different avenues from the days when you could just pack up and leave on vacation on a whim, but you never truly lose it.

Parenthood may not be right for you, or somewhere down the line, like me, you may decide differently. Know who you are and have confidence that your decisions are right for your life, and you will always make the wisest choice.

Answer 4

You bring life to another being. That in itself is a work of art. Like you said some people are better off not being a parent and after what you said I PRAY that you do not have kids-EVER!!! Everyone is different and was put on Earth to serve a purpose. You obviously have a purpose to be a professional business women. More power to you....that is something I couldn't do. I give you credit though for being so open and honest about your wishes and plans. It's sad that now you see so many women and men that are unfit to be parents and SHOULD have NEVER had kids. I am glad you made the choice before it was too late. Good luck to you in the business world....Mother or not, you will be successful in your own way, just as I am in my own way.

Answer 5

Until you have experienced the tiny newborn baby snuggled up to your chest, you wouldn't know. You are right, some people are meant to be mothers and some are not. I'm glad that you have made the decison to not have children instead of having them, resenting them and mistreating them. You can do just as much in life with a child though. Just because you have one doesn't mean that you are destined to a desperate housewife. Many, many good mothers have a job, have a family and have a great life.

Answer 6

Either way you look at it, both options are a double edged sword. You can do more with your "career" and future hapiness, however, these things do not last. Children ensure you live on well past after you are dead. Children bring a spice in life where nothing else can replace. Dogs cats....they are not even comparable. You learn to love and accept people for who they are. You never get bored, you're never lonley....the list goes on. You may not like other people's kids, but I'm am absolutley sure you'd love your own. :) Also, having kids, guards your body from certain diseases, like cancer.

I can see how you feel though, when I was pregnant with my first, I was bummed out because I was living and loving singlehood. But those things get old!

Whatever you decide, live life, love to the fullest :)

Answer 7

You ever see the movie"AChristmas Carol" ? Scrooge is being visited by the Ghost of Christmas yet to come or to better desribed as CHRISTMAS FUTURE. Anyway, Ol" Scrooge is dead and their are these guys taking what belongings he had and dividing them up and making fun of the old tightwad and he saw this and saw that no one was there to mourn his death and this is what REALLY rattled him into realizing his stingy ways and no family, and not caring about anyone was not the way to be and what he thought was friends were just "yes men" who could care less about him. OK, the moral of the story is that friends come and go but FAMILY IS FOREVER!!! Who will carry you to your grave if you don't ever have any kids? I guess this is a good reason to have chikdren. I have acomplished many things in in my life and seen a lot of amazing places and things but what stands out the most was when my daughter was placed in my arms right after she was born, and I felt love for her like I'd never felt before for anyone else until my grandchildren were born and they too, in an instant,also completely enthralled me with an aura of love and I realized they will be the ones' to carry me to my grave. So I guess if you want someone to carry you to your grave,YOU NEED TO HAVE CHILDREN !!!

Answer 8

I would want to have my own kid because I can play with my own kid.

I can guide my kid to become some man and woman that I can be proud of.

And when I am old he or she can be someone i can depend on.

Now, the fact that I can make all those dreams possible or not are totally different case.

It takes a lot of love and dedication for parents to raise their kid. It takes money and time to be given freely into the kid to become a young man or woman.

It is called investment in for the future. And hopefully, the investment will result in a good return when the kid has grown up and matured as an adult.

Answer 9

Having kids is totally the extension of the ego. It is only and I say ONLY nature's way to reproduce the species. That's why we're here.


Some have kids because they think it is expected of them, to continue the family name. Some have kids as a diversion from a bad spouse, to try to show they are good enough.


Some want to show love to someone who can appreciate it, and their spouses do not appreciate them.

Kids are a large tax deduction at times, but much more of an expense over their lives.

Kids are here to push our emotional buttons to allow us to heal our own wounds, hopefully, although this really happened far less often than it should.

Answer 10

I agree with you completely, but not the disgust part. Many women were cut out to be mothers, but many weren't. I myself might want to be a mom, but if the time is right I will make my decision. If you honestly don't want kids, no biggie. Good for you for being able to recognize this before being bogged down by unwanted children that can hinder your career, etc.