What is happening to me?

Question

inside I can say what I feel there are no words.I try to better my self I try to take care of my kids the best I can.There is alot on my shoulder alot I have gone threw.I keep telling myself that there are people out there with worse problem and I need toget over it but I can't.I cry alot.I can't sleep.I had trouble once before when my husband passed away but I manage to put it all away in a little box in my mind and go one and raise my kids years have gone by and I have like stacked up all those boxes til for some reason I can't just forget and get up and keep going.I know this don't make sence but there are no words to say how I feel.I can't find a job and now I have no income,diabetic daughter that needs me ,needs medican.I tried to look for investment partner,which will help some of my problem and can make money but no luck have to sell my home and if I don't sell my kids and I will be homeless.Why is all this happening.I don't want to breath I don't want to cry any more.

my daughter did take me to the doctor,after I went before both times I was turned down,doctor never even seen me.I have always made a list and work my why don't it.I had a job but work let me go when ambulance was here working on my daughter.I been all over trying to find work,filling pappers out toget med.s and help for my daughter with no luck.over the years I have helped others but no one there for me.I am not looking for hand outs.Why can't others be there like I am for them.I have gave food clothing home for people and no one seems to care.I know it is summer but I know winter is coming,I have walked for hours looking for wood to stay warm and seen people pass by that I gave wood to,not giving me a ride.and that is the same way I feel right now people go right by but when they are in need I will still be there for them.

my daughter did take me to the doctor,after I went before both times I was turned down,doctor never even seen me.I have always made a list and work my way down it.I had a job but work let me go when ambulance was here working on my daughter.I been all over trying to find work, filling pappers out toget med.s and help for my daughter with no luck.over the years I have helped others but no one there for me.I am not looking for hand outs.Why can't others be there like I am for them.I have gave food clothing home for people and no one seems to care,taken peoples animals in.I know it is summer but I know winter is coming,I have walked for hours looking for wood to stay warm and seen people pass by that I gave wood to,not giving me a ride.and that is the same way I feel right now people go right by but when they are in need I will still be there for them.Is this meant to be.Is this what life is.is there more or is this it.you say this is depresion but what if this is meant to be for me

Answer 1

listen....you are depressed. You need to get help for it and you need to stick with it. You asked for help and several people have offered you their opinion and all you have done is make excuses about how what they say won't work or that you have already tried it.....I know that being depressed sucks...that it feels like nothing ever goes your way.....trust me I know! but, darn it....you have kids who NEED you to be stable and healthy. Get out and move around. Take the kids for a walk....it will be good for all of you. Get to the doctor. They can help you....but NO ONE is going to knock on your door and drag your butt to the doctor.

If you can't do it for yourself....do it for the kids.

Answer 2

Take a slow, deep breath. Tell yourself it's not so bad, and that you have come this far, you will go all the way and you will do it!

Write down a list of your problems. Seems like you are off to a good start. Make the list on the left side of the page, and space them out vertically. At the top of the page, put the single biggest problem you have and work your way down. Now, on the right side of the page, list 3-5 things you can do for each problem that will not be a perfect final solution, but something that will treat the problem, make it go away for now, and allow you to move to the next one.

Tomorrow is Monday. First thing, set about solving the first big item on the list, by doing the possible solution that you think is most likely to work. If it were me, I'd start with the job. The house, health care, and income issues all seem to go away if you just do that one thing. Don't take crazy risks, and don't try to get a 200k / year job. Just go get some kind of job that will pay the bills and offer health benefits for you and your family. Don't try crazy schemes, and don't try to find some easy or lazy way out. Just go get a job. Be flexible about your pay and duties. You don't have to stay in said job forever. Just hold things over and get the heat turned down.

Go look in the mirror. It starts now. You will do it. Everything will be fine.

Answer 3

WOW. The first thing that comes to my mind is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Maybe you can check it out on the Internet and see if it sounds like you. PTSD is so often discussed as following combat, but many people get it after having dealt with a tragedy.

The other two things I'd look into are depression and anxiety. It doesn't look like you can afford the cost of therapy, but it looks like it would be helpful. If you sell your house, perhaps there will be some proceeds that could be used for therapy.

Until you can afford therapy, there are workbooks on both anxiety and depression. You may want to read some books on coping with death as well. Your public library would have these for free.

But, I think medication and therapy is generally warranted in your situation. You may be able to get some medication through a public health center. There are now some reasonably priced generic drugs available. Also some psychiatric teaching hospitals may offer a low cost service. The medication alone may help you feel better until you can afford therapy.

There are some alternative supplements available at big discount stores and health food stores and these do work for milder cases and are inexpensive. They are listed on the Internet, but I think most people would be concerned about self-medication especially without a diagnosis.

PS- not a therapist

Answer 4

Wow! You are really going through a tough time. You have every reason, in the world, to feel the way you do. It is normal. Although you feel this way, do not give up. Things do change, given time. Things are tough now, but you have no idea how things will be next year, or even six months from now. Try not to let temporary set backs, get you down, to the point, where you think there is no end, and things will never change. Things do change, God works great things, over periods of time. Try to be strong, and realize, that you are in a temporary situation, and that things will change.

In the meantime, reach out to some of these people you have helped, and let them know you are having a rough time. They may not be aware that things are so bad. Dont beg, but let them know. Try not to expect anything, when you tell these people how hard things are for you, wait and see if they offer to help. If they do, accept it graciously, if not, dont sweat it, love em anyway.

Local churches are a good place to turn, when the chips are down. All churches have benevolence programs. For most of them, you do not have to be a member. Tell them your entire financial situation, you may get surprised, and one may pick up your bills, for a while, until you get on your feet. If you do get help, try to get back, on your feet, as quickly as possible.

Local charities do allot, for allot of people. Their money is stretched very thin, yet they try not to turn anyone away. You may find some help through these agencies, but expect it to be very temporary.

Most states have fail safe medical programs for kids, healthy or not, and emergency food stamp programs, if the parent is having financial problems. They also have medical programs for women, check into this as well. Apply at your local agency/agencies.

Do not give up. Pray allot. Things will work out. God has a way, of seeing us through, the times we think we cannot make it.

I hope this helps!

Old Soldier :-)

p.s. spell check is out, sorry for the typos

Answer 5

I am very sorry for what you are going through. With the death of your husband, that is enough to deal with and you need to get some counseling. You are describing depression by crying, not sleeping, etc. Go for "talk" therapy and see if that helps, they should help you to set some goals and look at your problems as just temporary, because they are and I know you can't see that.

I don't recommend antidepressants unless you feel like you will harm yourself. You have a responsibility to pull yourself together as much as possible to help yourself and your children. So what if someone else has it worse, this is happening to you and that's all that matters.

Please contact someone tomorrow. If you can't afford counseling, seek out a women's clinic which may have low or no cost counseling, there is help out there, just take some time to find it, ok?

I will pray for you and your family. If you don't have a relationship with God, maybe you can seek that out now. God is always there in times of trouble and if you seek His help, He may show you the way.

Answer 6

You are crashing down...when you constantly put things in little boxes...those boxes will tumble & fall...spilling all those emotion that you boxed away...grieving for your husband is a process that you should allow yourself to do...allow yourself to feel that loss...it doesn't make you weak...it only makes you stronger at the end...remember that putting things in a box is only temporary...believe it or not...

Ok...finding a job can be very stressful...but look into Career Builders...check with your state unemployment agency for help in locating a job...at the same time, you can still search for an investment partner...

Loosing a house is very hurtful, but keep in mine that you can always buy another one...also, keep in mine that if you have to move to a apartment that it will only be temporarily...if you have to sell the house...than do it...rather than having it foreclosed...also look into your mortgage company...see if they have some type of insurance...meaning, that if your husband was the main provider of the household, that the mortgage will pay or something...check it out...look into that...look into what you are entitle to...you can do it...

Look into state agency for insurance for your kids...look into state assistant...keep in mine it is only temporarily...

Keep telling yourself that the things that you have to do is only temporarily...

Make a list of whats important...prioritize...tackle one at a time...you can work towards achieve the things...gather information...take it from there...

I know it may seem like its a lot...but you can only do but so much...you are not a machine...you are human...don't feel bad if you want to cry...cry for your husband...cry out frustration...but than get up...take one step...and that is enough...

Don't be afraid to ask for help...from your family or friends...this is a time when you need all the help you can get...talk about how frustrated you are...don't be afraid to lean on people that love you...

Take care & good luck...
I am sending you support...

Answer 7

It sounds like you are suffering from depression. You need to seek professional help ASAP! Depression is not something that will "just go away" - you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of your kids! Just like when you are in an airplane and they say if the airplane starts to crash, you have to put the air mask on you first, then your child. They need you!!
If you have no spouse and no job, you might be eligible for Medicaid to help with your daughter's medication. And, if you have to sell your home in order to survive - do it! You may also be eligible for housing assistance so you won't be homeless, or perhaps there are relatives or friends who you can stay with for awhile while you get on your feet. Please do not be too proud to ask for help!

Answer 8

if you want to sell your house try these websites: housebuying.about.com, houseprice.org, cashoffers.com, sold2day.com. I'm deeply sorry about your situation. I was almost homeless many times. the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that God can rescue me from my miseries. if you want someone to talk to, just click on me and email me. I'll keep you in my prayers. stay there. the light will come to save you. do not give up especially for the kids.

Answer 9

It's hard to add to what the others have said. You definately need help. Don't reject the thought of meds, either. I did & suffered needlessly for years. I was beaten & almost killed. I lost my house, car, most of my pets & almost of all my earthly possesions. Thanks to therapy, wellbutrin, & friends, I have my life back. If you are religious, pray. Either way seek help for your sake & your kids. Hang in there!

Answer 10

Honey what you are feeling is anxiety and depression,go to a doctor and he can perscribe something for you and get some counseling,things will look up.