I went out with some of my friends the other night, and I got a bit drunk (I am 15, but one of the boys who was 18 bought us all drinks). One of the guys offered to take me home, and I said sure. He was taking me along one of the deserted roads to my place, then he stopped and raped me in the back of his car. I feel like it was my fault, because I snuck out in the first place and I shouldn't have been drinking in the first place. I don't remember all of it, but I remember telling him to stop. And also, I shouldn't have accepted that ride from him, as my friend was meant to take me home, but I wanted to go home earlier. I barely knew him.
Whas it my fault? What should I do?
2006-07-09 13:42:19 · 31 answers · asked by ezzaphill 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it's the first time i have ever been drinking. My friends sort of pressured me, and thats another reason y i feel bad, i shouldn't have let them pressure me.
2006-07-09 13:59:05 · update #1
It's absolutely not your fault. Rape is a crime and it's important that you report it and also that you get help. Don't walk around with it. It will only make things more difficult for you. This boy he was wrong believe me he was and you were not. You may have snuck out of the house and you did drink but you didn't ask or want to get raped. You trusted this boy to take you home safe and he took advantage of you and raped you. You need help to get over this and he needs to be punished for what he did to you.
No matter what anyone will ever tell you. This was not your fault. It never was. you are a young girl and you have a whole life in front of you don't walk around with this but talk about it and ask for help and report it so you can try to find a way to get on with your life again. you can chose to try and forget it but it will come back to haunt you if you don''t do anything about it. so be wise and get help.
2006-07-09 14:02:00 · answer #1 · answered by aysha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it wasn't yoUr fault at all. NO means NO know matter what. Even if the girl is drunk or teasing the guy, when she says no then he should STOP.
U feel it's ur fault because u, snuck out, had been drinking & u accepted a ride from someone u didn't really know, but that doesn't make it right for him to do what he did.
Are u gonna pressure charges on this jerk? U should because he may have done this more then once and also u need to get to a dr's to get checked out sweetie, don't let this go, what if u have an STD or ur pregrant? U said your 15 if u ahve an STD U need to know this NOW and if ur pregrant your parents are gonna have a fit. Go to the dr's pressure charges on this guy and please
Stop with the drinking your too young and u see what happens when u have had 1 two many.
2006-07-09 20:56:38 · answer #2 · answered by itspink22@sbcglobal.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being raped is never your fault. No means no and rape is not about sex. It is about the power your attacker felt from controlling you. Yes, you made some choices that could have been better, but the fault in a rape always lies with the rapist not the victim. No one ever asks to be raped, the way you dress does not ask for it, and neither do your actions. Please find the courage to report this. A lot of physical evidence has been lost. You have no doubt showered and scrubbed till you felt clean. It will not be an easy road. However, a gynecological exam may reveal evidentiary support if there was any ripping or tearing inside the vagina from the rape. Seek counseling. 1-800-656-HOPE is a great resource and can help you with some of the feelings you have now. Call them now..Please call and talk to them.
2006-07-09 20:51:36 · answer #3 · answered by pubbabug 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not "your fault".
I mean if I going walking in the bad part of town and I am stabbed I might blame myself for being careless but the guy who stabbed me is both 100% legally and morally at fault.
Also, it isn't a crime to drink -- it is a crime to sell or give alcohol to minors.
There's at least three places you can go
* Pick a teacher or some other adult you like at your high school and ask them for help.
* Go to the police and ask them for help.
* Tell your parents.
There may be other oraganizations in the phone book for this sort of thing.
You should get help. They can refer you to a professional that deals with this kindof thing. Also, like someone said they will also send you to a doctor just to make sure your OK. Lastly, the police or a lawyer will explain your legal options.
When your older you can sue this guy and possibly recover a lot of money as compensation. You said you have a foggy memory so there may be witnesses that are out there that would take your side given a little push in the right direction.
And also... if you tell your parents and they just want to sweep it under the rug goto someone else.
2006-07-09 21:49:49 · answer #4 · answered by glenbrent 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not your fault. You wanted a ride home and he raped you. That was a criminal act on his part, regardless of the situation.
Report the event to someone you trust and respect. The worst thing that can happen is that the guy feels like he can get away with this in the future.
I'm really sorry, my good friend went through something similar. She had some help getting through it and relate guilt. You'll need the same thing. Don't let this jerk kill your spirits.
2006-07-09 20:51:32 · answer #5 · answered by GreenManorite 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, rape is never your fault.
So far that part of the question, being raped was not your fault.
HOWEVER - it WAS your falt that you knowingly put yourself in a VERY comprimised situation.
I am sorry that you had to learn this lesson the hard way - but hopefully in the future you will be more prepared to take a bit better care of yourself.
Make sure you get tested for STDs... the kind of sh1tbags that do that sort of thing are the same kind that have diseases.
2006-07-09 20:50:27 · answer #6 · answered by ***** 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not your fault at all !! You should do something about this!! The next person he does this to may not even make it home!!! If he thought he can get away withit once he`ll do it again. Chances are he has before you and there not saying anything either because there in the same boat. He could do this to someone else and they may not make it home. Think about that!! You could have stopped him. I know it`s tough but you need to stop him from doing this again to someone else. And don`t ever think it was your fault.!! He knew what he was doing and knows you won`t say anything cause you snuck out and don`t want to get in trouble. He is scum and needs to be punished!!!
2006-07-09 20:55:19 · answer #7 · answered by bren_jim 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Poor decisions lead to bad situations, but it is never YOUR fault. The guy is a very bad person and needs to be punished. A similar series of events happened to my ex-girlfriend while I was with her. The first thing you should do is report it. You should also have a rape kit test done, so they have some hard evidence on the guy. You have to do whatever you can to punish this guy, because I'm sure it's not the first time for him. It is a crime and needs to be stopped.
2006-07-09 20:51:04 · answer #8 · answered by Derrick_k 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All of us young kids like to rebel against our parents, especially when they don't let us do what we want to. Us teens (i'm 15 as well) like to go out and have a good time, and that's all you were doing. BUT that doesn't make drinking alright, nor does it validify getting in a car with an older guy, ESPECIALLY one you just met. There's lots of sexual predators out there these days looking for younger girls. You need to REPORT his A** to the police as soon as possible. And you should talk to somebody about it, being raped can screw up a girl's head for life. I'm not qualified to help with this type of stuff of course, but if you need a friend to talk to about it at all, feel free to IM me at itsouttahere777, i'll be glad to try to help and give more advice.
2006-07-09 20:54:36 · answer #9 · answered by high heat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hold your head up! Its not your fault period regardless of you being drunk or pissy drunk in that matter, doesn't give a person a right to rape you regardless of age. You need to hold your head up tell your parents, call the police and let your friends know what kind of rapist they have in there group.
It hurts you might feel alone but love you have to hold your head up and tell if, someone else might be next he can't keep thinking its cool, plus buying beers for minor's!! You have your whole life ahead of you.. never let anyone take your soul, heart, and love for you
2006-07-09 20:59:54 · answer #10 · answered by M M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋