Does anyone else know what it is like to live two lives????

Question

Does anyone else know what it is like to live two lives lik do you have to hide things from on parent and not the other???

Answer 1

Oh yeah, I grew up "in the middle" being pulled by each parent, used against each parent, and having to keep things from one or the other. It's truly crazy-making.

If you are an adult on your own, you can set boundaries, and refuse to live like that anymore, by telling each parent that you will no longer keep secrets from the other.

If you are an adult living with your parents still, then it's a bit more dicey, but you can still asert boundaries, while making the plans to move out on your own.

If you are a minor, stuck with your parents, it's much more difficult. You can approach your parents (together or individually) and tell them that you don't like being used as a pawn in the middle, and that you won't keep secrets from them anymore for the other. Or, you can just tough it out, while trying to hold on to your sanity.

Answer 2

Every child who has both parents plays this game. You want something, you go to the parent who most likely will say yes.
My question to you is, what kind of things are you hiding to make you feel so guilty?

Answer 3

YES, my mom and dad were like a seperated couple when i was growing up. I was a sounding board for each and I had to watch what I say to one and the other. OH what a pain in the ..... that was. If you are going through that I am sorry, if you are younger and going through that then I AM REALLY sorry.

Answer 4

I know how you feel because i used to trust my big sister more than my mom and it was difficult to hide stuff and feelings from her. but since ive grown and feel more open talking and spending time with my mom things are going ok now, but there are still some stuff that i cant tell my mom and never will. if you have any questions feel free to e mail me ok

Answer 5

I do know what this is like and it can stress you
out. You have to come clean and not be in the
middle of two parents. To save your self from depression or stress. You arte to young for this.

Answer 6

Its not a good thing living two lives. One for yourself and one for what others wanted yo uto be. I have been thru that. I dont think you should go thru that, be yourself because if you continue to, then you wont know who you are anymore and you'll feel like you lost that self image. It will be hard to gain it back because of what you go thru.

Answer 7

No I haven't. But, I know somone who did and it doesn't work
Here are two quotes from Mark Twain

He who has nothing to hide, hides nothing
and
He who tells the truth has less to remeber
_______________________________________

This kind of lying can only complicate your life.
Stop it before you ruin the rest of your life.
Eventually the lies will become so big that you will spend all your energy trying to cover your butt

Answer 8

yes mama, i do know what you mean. Try being honest with your self. Tell the truth to both parties aand ask them to understand. Your parent should love you for you, regardless of what you're going through.

Answer 9

If you're doing this then you're not living two lives you are living a lie. What is it that you're doing that you feel you have to hide it?

Answer 10

Yes, I sure do.....Altho, my mom's finally lightening-up..These days....But, for years, my mom didn't even like us talking about our father, around her, he hurt her pretty bad, when he left her, for an actractive Latina....The wicked witch, of the west, to us kids !!! However, 2 years ago my dad had a "stroke" and none of us even cared, what we thought, if we talked about our father.. And even mom got concerned....Sometimes it takes, years, or something to happen, in order to not get caught up in all their "Hate" and hurt, and so on....... Good-Luck, it'll get better, might take time.....And some years of growing-up, and for them to get over the hurt.......