Ok - so my girlfriend continually will ask stuff like "oh your in your truck, where are you going?" and "what are you doing?" and then when you answer "why do you need to do that?". If I don't answer the phone I get "where were you?"... of couse she thinks this is normal, but I am starting to get really pissed about it. I'm not married and I thought this might be the woman for me, but damn, I hate the questions, can't a guy go to the dump or to the auto store without having to list out the itinerary?
2006-07-09 13:18:34 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So - I'm not feeling guilty at all. She may want to know more about me, but the only thing she is learning is that I don't deal well with a detailed list of what I do. If I go to the store on Sat morn, then make a pit stop at a tool store, then stop at my neighbors for a beer then come home, that is my choice, it's my freedom to do it. I don't mind talking about my day, but maybe she could ask "How is your morning going?" and letting me give the info. Who knows I'm not an expert, but I have never given her reason not to trust me. If I want to be with another women, I'd tell her first. My ex-wife cheated on me years ago and I hate that, so I would not do that behind her (or anyones) back.
2006-07-09 13:30:43 · update #1
She sounds very insecure. You now need to figure out if she is like this with everyone, or is it just you. If she is like this with everyone she probably has a very low self esteem and is showing this through her insecurity with you. If she does not take steps to improve her self esteem, she will just get worse. If she is insecure with just you, why is that? have you done something that made her insecure about your relationship? Are you usually secretive about your whereabouts? Do you ever share your feelings with her? If what you say about her thinking this is normal is true, the problem is probably is a low self esteem on her part (although it could be agitated if you are secretive about your life). It is normal though to want to know where your loved one is going, it just means that you are cared about; however, to continually ask and then try to tell you not to go there is not normal, that borders on the controlling. Try telling her in the morning what your plans are for the day, and tell her you will check in with her once or twice during the day and actually do it. If she keeps calling you more than once or twice you may have a good heart to heart talk with her and ask her why she is doing that and tell her how you feel about it. You told all of us that you were getting upset about it, try talking to her about it in a non-threatening way. Also, having self esteem and insecurity issues makes life miserable. You said that you thought she was the woman for you, if so you must love her very much. Please for her sake, try to talk to her about that and try to help her work through this. Don't be judgmental, but be supportive and loving. In the end though, she has to be the one that will want to make the changes in her life.
2006-07-09 13:45:19 · answer #1 · answered by Josie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well your the kind of guy that gives the rest of us a bad reputation. you should feel flattered that she still wants to know what you do when she's not around. they all do it. the ones that don't care what your up to would be the ones that would probably be doing a couple of your friends. you need to treat her with more respect.or let her hang around with you alot and when she sees how lame you are, she will dump you and you won't have her as a problem.hope this helps
2006-07-09 13:30:53 · answer #2 · answered by curtismarsch 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
She probably thinks that u r cheating on her. Ask her maybe she will tell you. You need to talk then you might be able to leave the house without the 3rd degree. If thats not the prob. then u need to dump her.
2006-07-09 13:24:36 · answer #3 · answered by epena86 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
have you tried asking her to back off? if she's ok in every other respect, i'd try talking to her and letting her know you need some sense of privacy. she sounds like a control freak with trust issues. have you given her a reason to suspect you may be up to trouble? if not, and she refuses to compromise with you, drop her. it'll only intensify as time goes on.
2006-07-09 13:23:15 · answer #4 · answered by ^Ä^ngel ^Ä^mber 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sounds like she doesn't trust you I don't know if you have burned her before or if she had been burned in a prior relationship but it sounds like trust issues. If you have never given her a reason to not trust you then it is issues she has and needs to work out on her own might be time for you to move on.
2006-07-09 13:22:41 · answer #5 · answered by unhappyinin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it is annoying but she is probably insecure and when you avoid questions or get annoyed with her she thinks you have something to hide. Try offering the information to her sometimes before she asks. If she still continues to ask questions constantly then you need to explain to her that it bothers you. If she can't handle it then she's got to go go go!
2006-07-09 13:22:50 · answer #6 · answered by Maggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's not doing it to be a pain - most girls are a tad insecure and just want to know where their man is. Tell her [but tell her as nicely as you can] that she needs to tone it down. Reassure that you aren't doing anything fishy; that you care about her and her only. Sounds like she is having problems trusting you.
2006-07-09 13:22:48 · answer #7 · answered by sunsetsandpowerlines 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can completely understand why it would be upseting!! Enough is enough! Have you told her that it bothers you? I think it would be very beneficial if you sat down with her, and told her this bothered you, and take it from there. Hope it works out for you, and don't give up on love!
2006-07-09 13:22:17 · answer #8 · answered by the_kiss_of_eve 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe your gf just wanna watch out. she's afraid if you're cheating on her. if you feel really annoyed with it, why don't you tell your gf nicely that you really appreciate if she stop asking too many Q. tell her you'll always love her and will never cheat on her. that way she could trust..... ok.... we girls care for our bf that we love them so much... that is what you have to understand...
2006-07-09 13:27:36 · answer #9 · answered by Honey Gee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's just feeling left out, and this is her way of trying to make herself a part of your day - by asking about it.
2006-07-09 13:21:28 · answer #10 · answered by lclaws13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋