PLEASE HELP??? I'M TWO SECS FROM A G-BUILDING. I TRY TO SEPERATE THEM(YEAH RIGHT!), THIS CONSTANT BATTLE IS FOR EVEYTHING DOWN TO A CUP OF JUICE(WITH SAME AMOUT AND SAME CUPS)
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!
2006-07-09 11:05:39 · 14 answers · asked by Z 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
PARENTS OF TWINS OR MULTIPLES PLEASE RESPOND.
2006-07-16 14:46:12 · update #1
SIBLINGS 2, 3, 4 YEARS APART DOES NOT APPLY TO THIS QUESTION.
2006-07-16 14:48:07 · update #2
I know you said that their twins, but stop buying them everything
the same let them choose what cups they want. Choose something with different characters. People that buy the same things makes it hard for the kids to choose . If their boys there's
' plenty's of boy characters and if their girls then buy different
dolls. And hopefully that will stop the fighting. Unless they start
with thats mine again, then thats when you say that yours and
that he's/she (only if it's cups, spoon, bowl, plate) other wise
try sharing with each other toys.
2006-07-17 18:56:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
welcome to cibling rivalry , im sorry but i have to laugh cause all parents go through this rather its twins or just plan out having children close in age , the things i can sugest to you is each time they fight or bicker over something take the item away from them and let them know u can have that toy , cup , juice etc when u both can learn to play eat or drink together without the fights , u can also put there names on the cups etc , or even get one in pick and the other in purple or jus t let them pick out the certain items them selfs , twins are wounderfull no matter how much they may fight and bicker amoungs them self i was lucky in a way i have twins that are now 17 whenb they were lil they got along great once they hit middllle school that all changed for the worse , twins like most familys with more than one child will also bicker and fight just to basically be the bigt kid on the block sorta speak , they want to be noticed as an indeveduall adn there for will do things that mom or dad can talk about that the other twin dont do rather its good things or bad things , , for example lil janie is so good i ask her to put her toys up and shell do it when on other hand lil jennie wont pick them up , twins need there own idenity rather there identical or not and they also need there one on one time with there parents as well so they can learn to be independant from the other twin time outs never hurt anyone and a lil swat on the bottom wont hurt themn as well , just be patient and remain firm , with them , if u say no bout something then stick with it if u take a toy from them dont give it back because they cryed etc , if u do theyll cry over everything till u say yes or give it to them , your the parent and they need to learn that what u say goes
2006-07-10 08:47:02 · answer #2 · answered by dale621 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people are suggesting that you take things away form them when they are fighting over it or put them in a time out. This will not teach them to problem solve and will not work. If you take something away from them they will just pick something else to fight over.
Help them learn to problem solve on their own. Remember, their problems are theirs and not yours. When they are fighting over something, state the problem "It looks like you both want the same cup but we only have one." Then empathize "I can tell you really want the red cup. You're really upset that you didn't get it." Then help them to problem solve "What can we do about that?" They may need some help to come up with ideas. You can give some ideas on how to solve the problem. "How about "Emma" uses it this time and "Jane" uses it the next time?" If you problem solve with them, they will learn to do it on their own.
You can get a child sized pitcher for them to pour their own juice. They will have fun with it and can clean up any spills. Start off putting water in the pitcher so they can practice.
If you don't want them to do this, and have not poured an even amount of juice, when one starts to get upset over the amount they get say "I can tell you're unhappy about that." Leave it at that. A little empathy can go a long way. You are just empathizing, not joining into the problem.
There is a great book by Eleanor Reynolds called "Guiding Young Children." It will help you help your children to solve problems in any given situation. Check it out! Good luck!
2006-07-10 07:24:50 · answer #3 · answered by marnonyahoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try getting the children to do different activities at different times.Try giving one a bath while you have the other watching a childrens movie.Start giving them different things to eat and drink.When putting them to bed, read them a story and give them the same amount of authoritive attention.Try taking one for a walk while the other is at a grandparents house, or even a close friend of the family, then switch.By starting to show them seperation early will reduce the fight when they get older.Start out slow, but be aggresive.Good luck.
2006-07-09 11:10:56 · answer #4 · answered by Pork Chop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All kids do this. Give them timeouts in separate rooms. Use a timer give them 5 min. If they argue with you while putting them in timeout tell them they will get five additional minuets if the don't stop. Count to five. If they haven't stop give them the extra time. While in timeout no TV, Video games or computerized toys. These get my kids rilled up.
After the time out they will be quite and give you hugs.
As for the drinks always buy two of the same cups for them and fill it to the same amount. It doesn't take extra time.
Remember they need and want discipline.
My kids are 2 and 4.
2006-07-09 11:19:55 · answer #5 · answered by Luchador 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Goodness I feel for you! When they start fighting over something,calmly step in take what ever it is away ,if you know for a fact which one was the aggressor take the item from that child but not the other.If they are both going at it the take it away from them both.You're going to need a set of ear plugs to protect yourself from the high pitched screaming,but it will only take a few times of you taking away and sticking to it for them to realize you're serious! Also you could try giving them different cups and different colors.Sometimes twins don't want everything "just alike" I wish you good luck!
2006-07-09 11:16:58 · answer #6 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When they fight over something, take it away and don't let either one of them have it. Send them to a corner for every minute of their age. Set an egg timer and if they move before timer goes off, back to the corner they go for another 3 minutes. After a few times when they start to fight ask them if they need "Corner time", and they should get the point.
2006-07-09 11:11:39 · answer #7 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try buying things in different colors. Let them choose the colors.Write their name or favorite shape on the bottom of the juice cups.
Even twins need some individuality.
My boys are close in age, I had to do this too. It kept the peacein that area.But choose your battles!! They never really stop! Be patient...
2006-07-09 11:10:51 · answer #8 · answered by Gothic Martha™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My lil ones are 4 years apart and still act that way, so I seperate them alot and they cry for each other. But I have to do it, it works for awhile, other times I have to sit with them (very important) to teach them to get along. Don't just leave them alone to learn to fight, sit with them and stop the fighting before it begins.
2006-07-16 14:43:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay so my friend has 4 year old twin girls and the only way to stop the constant fighting is she taught them each how to recognize their names and she wrote their names on the stuff so they couldn't fight over it. other then that you have to try and keep them entertained so they dont have the time to fight.
2006-07-09 11:08:55 · answer #10 · answered by fandj4ever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋