Im so upset right now because i broke the news to my parents that im back with my bf whom they don't like. Im 25 years old and they can't tell me who to date. I don't have a problem with my bf. We have a relationship that nobody else understands. He never did anything really bad to me. My mom cursed and screamed at me saying "your good for nothing, your nothing but desperate you stupid ****" "your an asshole" My mom is a bitchy woman, you can't just tell her something without her screaming. Wouldn't she rather me tell the truth than lie about me seeing him? Im rebelling right now because its just not this one thing. I live at home with my parents and they are too controlling. The reason why i live home is because i just graduated college and don't have money to move out yet. What would u guys do? Would u just do what you want and not feel guilty about doing what you want-Im 25!!!
2006-07-09 10:34:22 · 9 answers · asked by hersheybar99 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe your parents concerns may legit. Have you sat back and looked at the big picture about this guy? Does he have the same drive in life you do? Does he have ambition? Does he have a career? Does he have a house? Car? Does he have bad habits? Your parents are only looking out for your best interest. Every parent wants their kids lifelong dreams and ambitions filled out. If he is such a great guy -- show them, let them know what you see. I'm only 25 too, but I had bad relationshiips in the past that my parents didn't agree with...and at the time, i couldn't see what they see. But now with years gone by and i've matured...you understand what they are saying. You need to sit down and write out your life plans and goals...does this man have the same as you? You need to pick the right mate for your lifetime. Does he want kids? Do you? Think about it. It is your life and you parents cannot dictate how you live it...but most of the time...they are right when it comes to this type of thing. Also, is this man worth it to be destroying your already shaky(by the sound of it) relationship with your parents? Without trying to sound cliche...blood runs thicker than water. Boys will come and go, but your family is what's most imortant.
2006-07-09 10:43:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
k, you gota be careful with what you do b/c obviously you are in a sensitive situation here- living in your parents home and them not approving of your bf. espcecially being that your mom lacks some form of anger managment.
Now, your parents don't want to lose you obviously and don't want you rebelling, cuz they know that once you have money you are so out of there.
My suggestion is: make your parents feel like they are the lunatics by talking super calm to them while they scream! don't find yourself screaming, b/c they won't listen to you. Be stern and just keep repeating the message that you are an adult and they need to trust you and if they can't, that won't change the fact that one day you will be living on your own and making your own choices. Tell them you need to learn from your mestakes and they can't take that opportunity away from you, it will happen- its just the matter of time.
If they still completely don't listen to you, try boarding with a friend for a while till things calm down, or try to get a 3rd responsible party involved. Hope this helps!
2006-07-09 17:49:10 · answer #2 · answered by gold 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is terrible! You are doing the right thing by telling the truth to your parents. You are an adult, they don't have to like your b/f. But they should be supportive of who you date, and if you decide to give some one a second chance, then they should back you up.
It sounds like you need to work on getting yourself stable, and get out on your own. Show them that you are now an independent adult. Also my advice would be that you let them know that they are just slowly pushing you away by how they react to things. I'm sure that is nothing but the truth? Always do what you feel is right for you, go with what your heart is saying. Good luck..:)
2006-07-09 17:44:35 · answer #3 · answered by Emily :) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how u feel. My mother didnt like my ex for some unknown reason. In your case, i would sit them down and listen to what they have to say. Screaming at each other back and forth is not going to solve anything. Ask them why they dont like your man. Plus, u are 25 yrs old!!! They need to understand that. Its your life and if your man is not good for you then u will see that for yourself later on. Dont feel guilty about doing what u want. You are grown!!! Start saving up some $$$ and move out when u can
2006-07-09 17:49:34 · answer #4 · answered by Carpe Diem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it were me just so i didnt get kicked out, i would leave the house and tell my parents that i am meeting a friend somewhere and see him anyways,and i would sneak out and meet him. but u shouldnt just break up with him cuz ur parents dont like him. my bf's parents dont like him dating me cuz i am younger than he is but we still see each other, it doesnt matter what everybody else thinks its ur life and u r a legal adult so do what u want and see who u want.
2006-07-09 17:41:11 · answer #5 · answered by blondie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mother should not ***** about who you go out with, if she doesn't like him she needs to tell you straight up how she feels and maybe ya'll can work something out, because mothers shouldn't yell at their children: ( in this case gorwn kids) because one it could stress them out, 2 they will lie to you so you won't yell at them and 3 they will then start being rebellious toward you and that will cause a problem, try talking to your mom and ask her why she yells at you instead of just talking to you
2006-07-09 17:48:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to hurry up and get a job and move out. you're right, you're and adult and they can't tell you what to do but they have not been able to let go. the only way you're going to get any relief is to move out. you do need to realize that once you move out they are not going to magically stay out of your business. you are going to have to set boundaries and stick with them. don't go running to them every time you have a problem. don't tell them specific details of your relationships. don't expect them to bail you out when you get into a jam. you are and adult and you need to start acting like one especially if you want your parents to start treating you like one.
2006-07-09 17:47:21 · answer #7 · answered by fungirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they can't shelter you forever, and it sounds like they're overreacting. They should trust you to have the experience to make your own choices. Sorry they give you so much crap about it, but it doesn't really sound like there's anything you can do to make it better :(. Im sorry, I hope it works out alright
2006-07-09 17:38:31 · answer #8 · answered by pieninja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
slow down kid
2006-07-09 17:44:53 · answer #9 · answered by likeskansas 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋