when you are living mostly for the sake of children...and actually there is no chemistry between you two.
2006-07-09 10:12:59 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Respect each other's space and property. Before getting mad, consider what the other person's intentions were when they did what pissed you off.
When arguing, don't bring up the past.
Have separate rooms. If one of you brings home booty call, bite your tongue and deal with it. There will be jealousy, don't take it out on the other person.
If someone gets passive-agressive, ignore it.
Take everything at face value, it makes life a whole lot easier.
Treat each other as you would roommates.
If none of this works, get out. Even if you just move across the street, for the kid's benefit.
I grew up around parents that fought all the time and it sucked. I had no respect for either of them by the time they broke up.
2006-07-09 10:21:19 · answer #1 · answered by Roadpizza 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So there is no chemistry. Can you laugh together? Can you learn to? Do you care? Are you kind to one another? Do you have any common goal other than raising your children? Can you find one? Do you care? Are you the best person that you can be? Are you fit--physically and mentally? Are you working on it? Can you not blame chemistry, or him, or anything else?
You must choose love, and caring and laughter and fun. If you both choose these, what is chemistry? Stop thinking that giving up is an option and start solving whatever the real problems are.
If you can't love, care, laugh and just be silly, this will be a problem regardless of where you are and who you are with. You might as well learn these things where you are. Separating is not the joyride you are imagining. What would you want your child to do in the same situation.
2006-07-09 18:20:22 · answer #2 · answered by Millie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you both deside there is no chemistry then you shouldn't just live together for the sake of the children. Kids are very smart and they will see that there parents are not together its not fair for anyone of you. Each of you should move on but keep the childrens best interest at hand. Dont forget they come first and seeing both parents happy even if they are apart will be better then living in a bitter enviorment
2006-07-09 17:19:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just agree to get along til your job is finished. Good for you for making the decision because of your children. Have you seen all the pitiful questions kids have been asking that are from divorced families? Why not both of you look at these questions together. That would help your determination to make it work til they are grown and gone. My son was the ONLY child in his circle of friends that was not from a divorced family. One day when he was about 8 he asked what divorced was and if I or his daddy would ever "be" one. I asked why he wanted to know. He said his friends told him how lucky he was. This is from 8 year olds. Keep working at it. The pain to the childredn is so deep and long lasting. Even if it is pretend happy at least the kids have both parents with them. Unless one of you is being beaten or a life is in danger work it out for their sake. Right now you are all they have.
2006-07-09 17:30:18 · answer #4 · answered by Mache 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be really hard to live together under those circumstances. I'm sure the children would sense the lack of communication between you two, and any tension that results. You should just break up, and start over. Children are resilient if the situation is handled correctly. Also, you have your own happiness to consider.
2006-07-09 17:17:54 · answer #5 · answered by Jeffrey S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying together just for the sake of the children may be honorable but not fair to either of you.
2006-07-09 17:16:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try working things out. Go to marriage counseling. It isn't going to be easy but it will be worth it. Every one has good times and bad times in a marriage, try and remember the good part, try and remember the reason you got married in the first place. People give up on marriage to easily. You can fall back in love with each other if you both work at it. It will be worth it for you and your children. Good luck.
2006-07-09 17:23:11 · answer #7 · answered by Izzy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In Holy Wedlock
2006-07-09 17:16:17 · answer #8 · answered by Bear Naked 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In peace and agreement. Speerate bed rooms, if you can. Charge the other person, rent. Or you could have her be the house servant, and treat her like a teenage daughter. Better yet. do everything you can, to bring back the chemestry.
2006-07-09 17:17:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't the children can feel the tension. Leave or ask him to leave you will see the difference in your children. bUt let him have visitation rights though and let the both of you move on.
2006-07-09 17:18:28 · answer #10 · answered by not2smarttoday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋