I have been wit my boyfriend for some years. We got 2gether when we were in Junior high and didn't know what the hell we were doing. Now we have grown and changed. We have both made a lot of bad bad mistakes. Anyway the thing is, is that he does not treat me the way I wanna be treated. There r certain things about his personality that i just can't deal wit. I love him immensly and I just don't know what to do. I HATE feeling this way. So confused. I asked him would it be this way if we were to get married and he said no. It's a bunch of Bullshit, right. He won't change, will he? I wish I could flip a switch and not love him. What should I do when I love someone so strongly?
2006-07-09 09:40:42 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe you love the thought of him. not him personally.
2006-07-09 09:43:11 · answer #1 · answered by VandyViolin09 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I know how you feel, I think you should walk out of the relationship before it gets worse, is he mistreating you? He shouldn't do anything to make you feel that way, no matter how long both of you have been together, I once had a boyfriend, my 1st love, I was with him for 4 years, he would call me a ***** when we would argue, he just had a bad temper, he supposedly loved me immensly, well, I learned my lesson, I guess he loved me in a weird way, because we moved in together and it wouldn't stop, I ended up things too late, I put up with too much of his bs thinking he loved me and we were meant to be and blah blah, couple of months ago, he kidnapped me at gunpoint, threatening to kill me if I wouldn't go back with him, I don't know how I got out of that situation, but I learned my lesson, I'll never go that far in a relationship with someone that treats me that way. It's just not healthy. I'm sure you love your boyfriend, but if he doesn't change, just let it go before things get worse, or have a talk with him and give him an ultimatum. Nobody should go through something like that. I wish you luck and hopefully this helps
2006-07-09 09:57:30 · answer #2 · answered by the*cellphone*chik 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to recognize that someone you have been with for a long time and was maybe your first love, is just not right for you. You need to start taking steps away from him. It will not change in marriage, but only get worse. You may end up in divorce and with children and be worse off than you are now. If you feel so bad with him, you need to leave. You need to trust wha these feelings are telling you. You will need to grieve the relationship and all that it has meant and could not ever be. You need to grieve your dreams and hopes for what it could be. I am sorry to say it, but I think you need to end it.
2006-07-09 09:46:22 · answer #3 · answered by doryanne949 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you love him. Maybe it has become a friendship Love. Try spending some time apart. If you find your self needing to talk or see him, Then you maybe IN LOVE with him their is a difference. Now if you find that the time apart feels good, then it maybe more of a friendship love. I can tell that what you feel now will not change if you get married. I'm living prof of that. He needs to change now . and that's doesn't mean that he will not go back to his old ways. SORRY to be the bear of bad news.
2006-07-09 10:07:20 · answer #4 · answered by diamondblue382000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say if your unhappy with the relationship now. You should end it because once thought feelings start it never gose back the other way. No matter how much you think you can change it and try to make your self happy it dos't work. Take my advice I have been there.I should of lissined to my heart then and I thought It would change but it never did. Don't make the same mistake. Good luck.......
2006-07-09 09:52:16 · answer #5 · answered by ladyjamie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he knows how you feel and cannot change, then maybe you should change your boyfriend. It might sound daunting, but that could be purely because you've been together so long, and you can't imagine what it would be like putside of this relationship.
Don't be tied down, if you're unhappy, and have means to leave amicably, then he should change, or loose out.
2006-07-09 09:45:31 · answer #6 · answered by Monsieur Friendship 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think is is bullshit. Maybe you two need spit for a while to test the waters or something. I know you love him but you have to put yourself first if you are unhappy you shouldnt stay with him. So I say split up for a while and see how things go.
2006-07-09 09:44:16 · answer #7 · answered by Teeley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gesh. At leest yer not goin into it blindly. Yu no how he is. Mens do chang after marage. Day git wors, nevr betr. Day dun hav ta try anymor. Is hard to untangl yer hart, but ifin yer can do it yer wil sav yerself a lot of pain in da futr. An dair wil be pain. Les pain if yer mak it quik and thuro now.
2006-07-09 09:47:52 · answer #8 · answered by Clem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People won't change just because of marriage. He will only change if he wants to and starts now, not after you're married. Hope this helps. Good luck!
2006-07-09 09:47:10 · answer #9 · answered by Jaden 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are still young and you both will go through changes..best thing to do is TALK TO HIM about it, let him know what is bothering you and what you expect. DO NOT expect a change overnight though.. how old are you now? it could be hormonal changes as well for both of you.. try to stick it out and see if he comes around..
2006-07-09 09:45:16 · answer #10 · answered by mernieinc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm having the same problem, when I try to talk to him it goes in one ear and out the other, so I would say what people told me show him tough love, show him that he deserves you, not the other way around. Good luck!
2006-07-09 09:45:24 · answer #11 · answered by Honey83 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋