how to get 18 month old to be nicer to 3 month old sister?

Question

my 18 month old son has a habit of hitting his little sister with objects or he likes to sit on her. Is he just trying to play or is it a jealousy issue. any suggestions would be appreciated.

Answer 1

An 18 month old doesn't have a lot of capacity for compassion. He would do the same thing to a cat or dog. Jealousy could be a factor, but mainly it's that he barely has any social skills. Even with his peers, this is an age of "parallel" versus cooperative play. You will have to be firm and protect the baby from the marauding big brother. When he hits her or throws things at her, he has to have a timeout. You absolutely have to supervise all their time together. When the baby is napping, give him some special time of his own. Bake cookies together (even if he eats all the cookie dough, although I'd leave out the eggs if he does this). Let him "help" you clean house by giving him his own broom and cleaning equipment. The more he identifies with your behavior, the more he will emulate your behavior towards the baby. This, along with time, will help. However, be warned that when she gets mobile and starts trying to play with his stuff, then the real jealousy will begin. In the end, little sisters who have to survive big brothers grow up to be tough women who don't take any crap from guys, so have hope.

Answer 2

My boys are the same age apart and we had similar problems. I could NEVER trust to leave the older one alone with the baby because I was afraid what he would do to his brother. He repeatedly bit him, hit him over the head with toys, etc. It was really horrible.

In our case, it was clearly jealousy. The older one did not get the attention he had gotten before the new baby. A few things we tried that worked included:

Spend time alone with the older child. Sometimes this even meant ignoring the baby's cries because you are busy with the older child.

Put the older child in time-out EVERY time he hurt his brother.
Explain that hurting was NOT OK (so you, yourself cannot spank your older child at this point or you give him the wrong message.)

Make a big deal when the older child touches the baby nicely or does something nice for the baby.

Be firm and consistent. It is a stage and it WILL pass. My boys are now teenagers and they are Best Buddies. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 3

You are letting this 18 month old SIT on a 3 month old. Make the child stop......That is how you get him to be nicer. It is a parenting issue not a jealousy issue

Answer 4

Probably jealous. Try spending alone time with him. My son is 23 months and I am due again in Dec and I bought him a doll to play with to get him used to having a baby around. When he hits his sister with an object take that object away and sternly say "NO, NO hitting".

Answer 5

Just wait. My girls are 51 weeks apart. My oldest had her fun with tormenting her little sister. As soon as my youngest became mobile, she got her revenge. My oldest used to do the same things your son does. Now, my kids are 15 months and 27 months. My youngest will go up to her and yank on her hair. We're trying to potty trian our oldest. Well, little sister torments her while she's on the potty. She tries to pull her potty seat out from under her, she flushes the toilet while her sister's on it, she had taken off with her panties, not to mention tried to stick her hand in the toilet. I'm there to pull them apart, but they're siblings. There's onyl so much you can do...lol All you have a case of is sibling rivalry. When the baby gets older, she'll get her revenge

Answer 6

It's probably just jealousy, but you can't let him get away with it. Tell him "NO". Smack his hand. Take the toy away that he is using to hit her. Don't let him near her until he can prove to you he can be a "big boy" or a "good big brother". Let him help with things like getting the bottle for her, or the diaper, or even throwing the diapers away. I know that mine are older and now they fight a lot but when they were younger, my oldest thrived on helping and playing "mommy" with the baby.

Don't let him feel left out, but don't allow behavior like this to continue. Hope this helps.

Answer 7

At 18 moth your child has a partially developed sense of self. Please do this little test. Put some rouge or lipstick on his nose without making a big deal of it then put him in front of a mirror, if he wipes it off he is in possesion of a fully developed sense of self and therefore how you treat this will be different to how you ought to if he can recognise that the mark is on his nose. Firstly, put the dicipline head away to start with, Social learning theory shows us that children model their behaviour on those around them, make a big deal of loving the baby in front of him. Hold her and show him how to cuddle and gently stroke her. Get him to sit beside you on the sofa while he holds her, lots of praise and soothing AHHH lovely baby sounds.

Do reprimand him if he tries to hurt her but concentrate on changing his behaviour toward her, my 16 month old can gently pet our dogs and by 18 months you son should be very empathic and caring if it is directly modelled for him.

Answer 8

Separate her from the challenge, use your agency voice (no longer propose so she cries) to maximum ideal her and keep on with it. Consistency is the foremost. Praising the coolest habit alongside with this can be an effective self belief builder for her too. we've 6 youthful toddlers and it truly is the only ingredient that worked for our youthful toddlers lower than 2. At a particular element after 2 they were given time outs and toys taken away even as needed. My 3 365 days previous is jealous of the interest her toddler brother needs. i attempt to make time to "toddler" her by technique of conserving her on my lap and letting her be the toddler. She immediately grows drained of being the toddler and taking area in with toddler toys and is in a position to be a huge female. She is popping out of her jealousy level understanding that her mommy nevertheless loves her as a lot as she loves the toddler. i'm hoping you detect some thing that works for you, you need to be feeling lower than pressure out today!!!

Answer 9

He wont be. He is extremely jealous. Spend more time with him and do all the kissy stuff you do with 3 month old with 18 month old. When new baby is sleep. Hold old baby and show lots of affection and use terms of endearment. That will break the jeaulosy. He will SEE & FEEL that you care and love him just as much as new baby

Answer 10

I have three children. I have always given the older one responsibilities with the baby. We would always say our baby instead of "the baby" or "my baby". Letting them help with the baby helps them to feal involved and not so left out. My oldest son loved helping me take care of his little sister and today he is very protective of her as well is she with her baby brother. We have never had jealousy problems with any of them because we always emphasized that we were a family and we take care of each other.