Are mother's jealous of their daughter's?

Question

I've never really had a relationship with my mother. I've lived with my dad since I was 3 and never really saw my mother except for an occasional summer. Now, I am back living in my hometown and have tried to establish a relationship with her, but she continually dissapoints me. She only calls me or talks to me when there is something that she wants. She always takes my younger sister's side (who grew up with her). I sometimes think she forgets that I am her daughter too. I just recently got a very successful job that she had previously failed at after 3 days. And I haven't spoken to her in 3 months. I saw her at a fair and she ignored me, and now I think neither one of us wants to speak first. I don't know if it's worth it though. She's even moving to another state and hasn't told me yet; I found out through my grandmother. Should I just forget about her? It's been like this all my life. Should I stop trying to form a relationship that has never been there to begin with?

well, i was with my father since I was 3 because he was in the Air Force. my mother's excuse for why she never saw me much was that she was just too hurt and it was better to think of it as "out of sight, out of mind". Her and I are so much alike it's scary, and I wonder if that's why we butt heads, because we are both bull-headed and stubborn and want everything our way.

Answer 1

Some people are going to say it's impossible. Those people have never had mothers like you and I have. Yes, it's possible for a mother to hate her child. It's up to you if you want to continue to pursue a relationship that she apparently does not want to have. However, be forewarned that most of society will judge you harshly and blame you for your unwillingness to be her emotional punching bag. Find others and seek support from others in the same position. Everybody does not have a warm and caring mother regardless of what television and Hallmark want us to believe. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Yes. If you have lived with your dad since you were 3 and I have no clue as to why she did not see you---and she is not willing to be a part of your life== forget her. Let her know that you tried first and keep that open for her. Tell her that you are sorry that she feels this way, but that you will not be taken for granted and tell her that if she ever has a true change of heart--then to get in touch with you.. Then forget it and leave it alone. You deserve better. Plus if she ever calls wanting money --hang up.

Answer 3

Mother's should not be jealous of their daughters. I have always had a good relationship with my mother, and currently get on okay with my daughter. It sounds like it is her turn to make an attempt. If she wants a relationship why has she even waited this long? She should have made the attempt when you were 3.

Answer 4

I'm not sure that your mother's reactions (or lack thereof) have anything to do with "jealousy", but, it's possible. It could be more due to large "differences" in personality- (between you and she)- that make the two of you not very "compatible", socially. It's really hard to say, without knowing the two of you personally.
It may be that she has a hard time associating with you because to do so may bring forth feelings of "guilt" (if she feels she has failed in her duties as a mother to you when you were both younger), and to interact with you now may bring these feelings she wishes to repress, back up to the surface, and she could have a very hard time coping with her emotions and still may be trying to repress them because they are painful to her.
It's also possible that she may feel a question as to your love for her, and is waiting to see if you "make the first move", testing you, so to speak.
This question is one I'm afraid only really you and she can answer accurately. Communicating with her on exactly this subject, no matter how painful it might be, may provide you with the "best answer" you're going to get.
Good luck, and I hope your communication with her brings you the closeness with your mother that you seek.

Answer 5

you have to do whatever makes you happy, if it makes you happy to have this woman in your life then go for it and keep trying to make her notice you, you will be doing this all your life but hey if it makes you happy go for it. but if you are tired of calling her,tired of go the extra yard , give up , it isnt worth the time and energy you have spent trying to get this woman in your life when all she is doing is moving further and further out. it is not your fault it was decided that you livewith your dad, you have done everything you can to try to stay in this womans life and if she doesnt want it then thats her lose. i think you should call her and say ok mom i wish you well in your new home, if you want ot call me you know whwere to rreach me, good luck. and if she wants to call you then she calls ,if she doesnt want to call then she doesnt want you in her life.good luck.