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I'm just curious. You are with your family in a family friendly restaurant. Across from you is a group of about 10 people, 2 being children under 5 (one is five, one is probaby 2.5 yo). The 2.5 yo is being a normal kid, however is proceeding to get louder and louder. Mom and dad ignore him. Mom gives him a bottle (yes, a bottle) and he throws it down. Mom picks it up and gives it back, he throws it again. She picks it up again and gives it to him. This time he throws it across the room--narrowly missing your own child. He's now screaming and thrashing in the high chair, but mom and dad are ignoring him, as is the rest of the party. You do not know if he has any behavioral problems or not...how do you react? The restaurant is half full of people continually watching this other table. What if you were that child's parent or one of the diners? The waitstaff?

2006-07-09 08:11:31 · 29 answers · asked by Jen-Jen 6 in Society & Culture Etiquette

29 answers

I'd ask the waitstaff to talk to the parents...but other than that, throw food at the boy and maybe he'll be quiet while he's unconscious. Then, return to your peaceful meal. (The latter part of that handling of the situation isn't neccessary...lol...but fun to think about!)

2006-07-09 08:19:54 · answer #1 · answered by spiralstarjb335 2 · 1 1

If I were the parent of such a child, either the child would behave him or herself, or we would go home. If the child has some kind of disability, I would take him or her only to places where rambunctious behavior would not be frowned upon. There are ways just about any disability can be worked with; however, ignoring the child is never the way to do it.

If I were on the waitstaff, I would offer my assistance in the matter. I'd be polite about it, but I'd ask if there was anything I could get anyone, perhaps some crayons? Then I'd try to make the child smile in a surrepticious way.

If I were another diner in the establishment, i would ask the waiter to do the above. Failing that, I'd live with it. Honestly, such behavior doesn't bother me, but displays of incompetent parenting do. I worry about the kids. The one exception would be if the child were a squealer. You know the ones. High pitched, incredibly loud, liable to break your eardrums and statistically the most likely children to be abused? Then I'd leave.

2006-07-09 10:36:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I personally think that parents with misbehaving children should be forced to leave restaurants when their child is disrupting the dining of other customers. I wouldn't want to lose my job at a restaurant by yelling at the parent, but sometimes it seems like that's what the waitstaff should do. I don't expect silence at a family friendly restaurant, but the bottle throwing is inexcusable. I would hope never to have a child like that but if I did I would take it outside and calm it down, punishing it later by taking away the TV or something similar. Were I a diner and in a bad mood I would confront the mother or father, and if in a good mood ignore it best I could.

2006-07-09 08:22:59 · answer #3 · answered by reverenceofme 6 · 0 0

That's a difficult question. The situation you describe is a messy one. It is expected that kids may be noisy, but the bottle-throwing was potentially dangerous.

But it is also dangerous to involve oneself in a family that has shown that it is comfortable with careless and violent behavior. I think that a lot of people would remain quiet, finish as soon as they could, and then leave the restaurant. This would be the safetst route.

However, I am a fairly out-spoken person without kids of my own to protect. These are additional options that I would consider:

(1) I would consider either speaking to the most-approachable of the parents...preferably in a quiet, private manner. This is a chancy tactic, so use it with caution. Even the calmest parents might become angry and defensive when approached about their children.

(2) If neither parent seemed approachable, then I might make a restroom trip, during which I would speak to the manager. In speaking with the manager, I would calmly tell him the main problems...the escalating noise, the bottle-throwing...and ask him what might be done. The likeliest options are that he will either gently approach the parents himself regarding one or both the complaints, or offer you another table.

I hope this helps. I don't know that there's a way to really win with this one.

2006-07-09 08:48:14 · answer #4 · answered by curlygirl 2 · 0 0

If I were the child's parent, I would leave. Actually, I probably would never take a child like that to a restaurant in the first place.

If I were a member of the waitstaff, I would politely ask the parents if I could get the child some crayons, a drink, ANYTHING that would help calm the child down. Maybe the parents would get the hint.

2006-07-09 08:17:31 · answer #5 · answered by brains 4 · 0 0

Oh! I have been there! Our family night out has been mared and my wife will not permit me to make it worse by making a scene. The once I tried, called the waiter, canceled the order and announced that I was taking my family to a restaurant that only served the civilized. The adult male of that offending group did not even look up and glare...little surprise! He would not control, give guidance to a child, if he could not confront that he really has no business addressing an adult.
Outside my question of which place we should try next was met with "I just want to go home", which effectively spoiled the night for my family. I lost my temper over a lack of manners and civility forced upon my family and ultimately my family suffered and not that of the perpetraters. I'm not sure I will ever calculate how to achieve justice and maintain harmony at the same time. My conclusion that their Just Us trumped my idea of justice still grates to this day.

2006-07-09 09:57:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well I have waited tables for years and it is a very touchy area if you desire to make a tip,but I also raised 3 children and now am raising a 3 year old who does get bored and act up in public,most children that young are bored,they like ritual,they would rather have hot dogs at home,the parents should respect the other diners and get doggie bags,or take turns taking the child outside while the other one eats,its not fair to the kid or the other people trying to enjoy a meal or movie and so on.

2006-07-09 08:19:04 · answer #7 · answered by Cherokee 5 · 0 0

I'd say the waitstaff should approach the table in question and (showing concern) ask if he/she could do anything to help calm down the child, adding that the rest of the customers are quite concerned because he is so distressed. That should handle the situation quite well. If the parents persist in ignoring screaming after being addressed, they should be asked to leave.

2006-07-09 08:19:15 · answer #8 · answered by Decoy Duck 6 · 0 0

If I was the child's parent, I would have exited the restruant to respect the other diners. If I was the waitstaff, I think I would have went to the table and offered my services and politely asked if it was okay to give the child a sticker, balloon, or desert. I'd hurt my chances of a tip if I offend them and ask them to leave or quiet down. If I was one of the diners, I would asked to be moved as far away from the kid as possible.

2006-07-09 08:19:03 · answer #9 · answered by Mariposa 7 · 0 0

I would not contact the guest. That is the sure start to a fight. A manager at the establishment should take it upon them selves to solve the situation, if they have not, inform the manager that the child is acting out that the parents are not doing anything to fix the problem. Be very polite to the manager. It then puts the onus on him to fix the problem, and saves you the confrontation of in front of ten strangers who will not be on your side.
b
I disagree with the statement that you should accept it. a screaming child is only customary at Chuckie Cheese, and non parents should not be forced to listen to it other places.
b

2006-07-09 08:38:54 · answer #10 · answered by Bacchus 5 · 0 0

What I would want to do:
Go ask the table if they were all deaf or just stupid. And probably make various other rude comments.
What I would do:
Nothing. go on about my dinner and the people at my table. Complain to my husband the whole way home.

And this is exactly why when choosing restaurants to eat at, I chose accordingly. I do not bring my children where they may annoy other dinners. A lot of people go out to dinner to get away from their kids so I try not to impose mine on them.

2006-07-09 08:22:53 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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