I'm a 33 year-old single male and I think I'm fairly attractive. I'm no Brad Pitt, but I'm very tall and muscular and like I said, I believe I'm decent looking.
Anyway, there's a 21 year-old girl who works where I do and I have a monstrous crush on her. She is so beautiful and funny and nice to people and smart...I would love to ask her to go out with me and try to get to know her better in hopes of maybe starting a relationship.
The thing is my age. If I ask her out, she might think I'm just trying to get down her pants...which is not the case. Sure, she's beautiful, but there are more important things I'm looking for in a woman than sex. I went through that phase when I was a teenager. Anyway, I think she might feel I'm trying to use her for sex or just think I'm straight out weird 'cause I'm 12 years older than her....but she IS legal, so I'm in a dilemma.
What would you suggest?
Please don't say "find someone your own age." I don't need to hear that.
2006-07-09 07:41:16 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just be honest with her. Approach her in a friendly way and tell her how funny, nice, and smart you think she is, and that you'd like to take her out for coffee (or dinner, or wherever you'd like to take her) and get to know her better. If the difference between your ages is a problem for her, she'll let you know pretty quickly, and although you may be disappointed, at least you'll have gained a funny, nice, smart new friend. Good luck.
2006-07-09 07:49:43 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah 2 · 5⤊ 4⤋
No offense, but I can't believe you're interested. When I was 33 (seven years ago) 21 year olds seemed like little girls to me. The differences in our likes, dislikes, our respective maturity levels, ideas about life, and what was important were worlds apart. I was far more interested in being with someone who had the same chronological background I did-- someone I had more in common with. I'd say-- be damn sure this isn't just some infatuation and be damn sure you're not blinding yourself to some differences that will become clear down the road. Anyone who says "age doesn't matter" probably doesn't have a lot of it yet.
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And granted-- there are always exceptions to the rule. One is 25 and the other is 55 and they lived happily ever after. But I'd remember that they are *exceptions* and they will be the ones more drawn to answer your question here-- they and hopeless romantics out there. The 97% of us who choose someone about our same age won't have any special interest in your question.
2006-07-09 14:54:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No age don't make a difference unless he/she is a miner. I married my hubby when he was 22 and I was 26 that's only four years but everyone thought I was crazy to marry a 22 year old guy. If she is mature then go for it, just remember she is still young and want to do all the things 21 year old's do...but then again your still young and she will make you feel younger. I say go for it and have fun! I know I do my hubby makes me feel young and we have the best time together! I also don't think she will think you are weird, you will never know till you try. you have nothing to loose and the worst that can happen is she says no.
2006-07-09 14:52:59 · answer #3 · answered by AzzGoodAzzItGetz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a 12 year age difference between me and my husband and we have been married (HAPPILY) for 13 years . I am now 48 and he is 36! And we have 3 great kids 12, 10 and 6.
We are proof that it can work!
If the love is there, by all means go for it!
2006-07-09 14:47:48 · answer #4 · answered by Linda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think there is anything wrong with that...just understand that you guys at 2 different places in your life right know...and that might play large role if you guys were to get in a relationship...I mean theoretically she is still in college, even if she is not attending one where you are ready to possibly settle down a little bit...even if she is a nice girl...you jsut have to decide is once you get past your infatuation is she still going to be everything you thought she was because 12 years is a whole lot
2006-07-09 14:46:46 · answer #5 · answered by rdbowles12390 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through that phase when I was a teenager. Shes not much more than a teenager. I think u answered it yourself. If you are 33 then you should be looking for 25 and up instead of a fantasy.
2006-07-09 14:45:44 · answer #6 · answered by xeson1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At the risk of sounding ridiculously cliche, age ain't nothin but a number. If you feel a chemistry between the two of you; if you feel that it could become something.. just go for it.
The worst case scenario: she says no. It never hurts to ask. Life is too short to wonder 'what if...' all the time. I think you will always wonder what could have happened if you just went for it.
So just do it.
2006-07-09 14:47:21 · answer #7 · answered by sunsetsandpowerlines 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is only one way to find out if she thinks that--and that is to bite the bullet and ask her out. If she says no--then there is nothing else you can do. If she says yes, then if you are the kind of person you say you are, she will see that. Take a chance--who knows? Good luck.
2006-07-09 14:45:03 · answer #8 · answered by sidnee_marie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think 12 years is too big of a gap in age. Ask her out. She can only say yes or no. If she says yes, then take it from there. If she says no, then move on. Good luck!
2006-07-09 14:47:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she is comfortable with it ,then go ahead and start a relationship. Try asking her out with a bunch of people together. Have fun!!!
2006-07-09 14:46:30 · answer #10 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋