I recently found out that my boyfriend of almost 2 years has been talking to this girl who lives out of town quite a bit and I have gotten a funny feeling about it because she calls him sometimes at odd hours. He assures me she is nothing but a friend and I have not seen anything that would REALLY suggest otherwise, though there is a feeling that i cannot shake that something is wrong. I feel like our relationship is somehow different. I can't put my finger on it. I went on his phone and looked at the #'s coming in and he found out and this is causing serious tension between us because he feels I don't tust him...I just feel extremely jealous. He even wants time out because he feels I have become obsessed w/ this notion. I think I am ...I don't know what to do. Anyone have any good advise how I can save my relationship? And become less jealous and more secure? Help help Help!!! I am so depressed because of this and my heart physically hurts because I feel like I'll lose him.
2006-07-09 07:05:42 · 15 answers · asked by lil_hottie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He always tells me he loves me and I think he does. He always does special things for me but lately I have been a wreck and I son't think it's fair to our relationship!
2006-07-09 07:06:53 · update #1
So should we take the time off to analyze the relationship he suggested a few days...?
2006-07-09 07:22:23 · update #2
hey i have almost the exact same problem as you. my boyfriend and i have been dating for almost 2 years as well! I also get super jealous when he starts befriending and talking to other girls alot. Everytime i tried to talk to him about it, he started to get defensive... which maked me even more nervous.
anyway, what i've found works is to just let what happens happen.... because there isn't anything you can do or say to him that will make him stop. and do you really want him to give up a good friendship for you? it may seem like a good idea now, but it'll just bring hard times in the future.
Put your complete trust in him, it will pay off.
2006-07-09 07:17:57 · answer #1 · answered by tropical_sunrise1 2 · 9⤊ 3⤋
He wants time out because you looked at his phone? That makes no sense to me! I know it was a trust issue when he caught you looking at his phone, but if there was nothing to hide, he shouldn't have gotten offended. He should have stood there and said "I told you so." If you don't already know, I'd ask him who this girl is, how he knows her, and what they talk about. If he always has to leave the room when she calls, that's a red flag. If it were so innocent, he'd talk right there in front of you. I think you have every right to be concerned because while it's ok to still have friends when you're in a relationship, there's a certain closeness that is ok. If she's calling at odd hours, then she obviously feels like he'll be there whenever she needs him to be there. As for being jealous, that's normal too. Whether or not you should be jealous is based on how close these two are and what the point of their friendship is. You guys need to seriously talk about what's going on with him and her. The whats and whys. Until you get to the bottom of what's going on, you'll never be able to move on and stop feeling jealous. He's definately hiding something. You just need to know what he's hiding; whether it's good or bad.
2006-07-09 07:15:17 · answer #2 · answered by Jenn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he done anything before to lose your trust? You both need to talk it out. If he hasn't done anything to lose your trust before, then there is no reason for you to be insecure. He truly does leave you and some girls want to try to get what you have. Don't ruin what you have by having insecurities. Insecurities are very valid to have, but you must remember that if he is still continuing to do special things for you and loves you, you have to put yourself out on a limb and trust him. It'll be very hard, but you can do it.
However, if this has happened before with this guy, you have reasons why you should be insecure. You both need to work at trusting each other.
2nd part might be...is she doing something that you have stopped doing since you started dating? Maybe your guy is missing this component of the relationship. Ask him if he misses anything that you guys had done in the past (not necessarily sexually)
Look for the book The 5 Love Languages and read it. It's an excellent resource for every relationship.
Hope this helps!
2006-07-09 07:13:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need ot be open and honest with him about all this. Sit down and talk to him. He'll understand if he loves you. However try to trust him more then you already do. Its goingb to take both of you to work thorough this. A relationship needs to be honest if its going to work. Talk to him about how you feel and try not to be so jealious. I had something simmalar between me and my boyfriend a while ago. I told him the truth. He actualy laughed and told me i was the onyl one on this wole earth that he could possibly love. were married now :P Good luck ;)
2006-07-09 07:11:47 · answer #4 · answered by SexyLilChick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he wants time apart then be ok wit it ,and by being ok wit it .....hes gonna think that your seeing someone else which means , that hes gonna want to know as much as you wanna know about this girl hes talking to,and then he becomes jealous and it will soon become the opposite of the relationship and wen he tells you how he feels then tell him how you feel about this girl hes talking to this girl. *and remember not to care wen u suggest to take some time apart, but you really do care!!!!!!
2006-07-09 07:20:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
GIRL. You need to wake up. Would you please step back and read your own question. You are being munipulated. He is talking to another girl and somehow you have managed and he has also managed to turn this around on you and make YOU feel like the bad guy.
Those weird feelings you are feeling that you "CANT SHAKE" is called a GUT feeling. You have every right to feel the way you feel. You need to confront him and tell him to back the F U C K up!!! You are literally feeling this is YOUR fault.!!!!!
You're asking us to come up with ways to help you!?????? I tell you what do. DUMP THAT SORRY BASTARD! Easier said than done I know. I just dumped a guy after being together for 4 years solid. I dumped him on JULY 3rd. Yea, its hard as hell. but hey do you want to blame yourself for his cheating. GET A GRIP GIRL! You are the victim here. Talk to some guy and rub it in his stupid face and see how he f'n likes it!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRR
2006-07-09 07:15:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
well this is a normal feeling for all girls in this kinda situation.listen if you love him truly then forget about this girl and beleive him.true love always win.and just talk to him about your insecurity like a friends and assure him that you love him a lot and what you feel about him.and dont worry he loves only you.
all the best!!!
2006-07-09 07:15:39 · answer #7 · answered by sonia sharma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is talking to an old friend get rid of him. If he is human at all he would know how hurtful this is to a girl!
2006-07-09 07:09:49 · answer #8 · answered by sugar-n-spice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ......He does have the right to have other friends that are girls if you dont get mad that he has guy friends wats the diffrence if shes a girl? idk caus i think your both right maybe you should sit down just you an him an say "hey ya noe i love you an all but i think that she is coming in between us an i dont lik her calling u at these starange hours" just somthing like that an hell be glad you talked to him
2006-07-09 07:11:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, as long as you're near and you give him emotional and physical affection, he'll keep you around. If this isn't enough for you and you actually believe you're "THE ONLY ONE HE LOVES", then you're due for a big disappointment.
TX Guy
2006-07-09 07:10:05 · answer #10 · answered by txguy8800 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋