They spend too much on me... They took me to Disneyworld last year and now they want to take me to Australia. How can I tell them that they dont need to do this?
2006-07-09 06:36:31 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well if they're willing to spend the money on you, maybe they really appreciate you and feel they need to reward you. I say be gracious and take it, make sure they know how much you appreciate it though.
If you really want them to stop, just kindly tell them their gifts are overwhelming and you'd really appreciate if they spent it on something for themselves instead of on you.
Disneyworld and Australia? Maybe they just like your company. You shouldn't turn down experiences to travel and see the world, always take the opportunity.
2006-07-09 06:42:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your relatives have the money and they want to spend it on you. I think you can make suggestions where you want to go and then tell them. It might be easier than spending all that money , and you get to go to a place you really want to go.
On other hand, you are lucky that they will pay for your trips. It's hard on the economy now and not that many people are going out to different places. Tell them you love them and that you appreciate it. From there you can work it out with them in terms of trips.
2006-07-09 14:10:58 · answer #2 · answered by fran c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure they know that they don't need to do this, they want to because they love you. Thank them sincerely, tell them it isn't necessary but sometimes graciously accepting a gift is the nicest thing you can do for people who love you. You sound like a sweet person. Do something to show your appreciation. Make a dinner, flowers, small gift, card, whatever you think they'd enjoy.
2006-07-09 13:42:09 · answer #3 · answered by mab5096 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really is no way to tell them without upsetting them. However, I would make up excuses as far as the vacations go. For instance, "I think I would like to go bowling instead of visiting Australia."
That's a cheaper activity--so I would try replacing these REALLY expensive activities with cheaper activities.
So far from what I see, your relatives simply like your company. Live it up.
2006-07-09 13:42:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's something to consider.
Consider that you have a viewpoint on this (i.e. what you expressed in your question) and your relatives have a viewpoint too. What is their viewpoint? Or to say that a different way, how do they see this situation? Why, from their point of view, would it be okay and desired to spend lots of money on you? They must like you an awful lot.
When you have something to communicate to another that can be touchy or cause upset, it's usually good to first really VALIDATE their viewpoint. To validate is to reinforce or agree with what another thinks is fact (i.e. the must think it a fact that it's okay to spend so much money on you). Validate their viewpoint.
For example, "I know you guys think a lot of me. I see how much you spend on me and I really appreciate it. It's kind that you do such kind things for another."
Do you see how that example takes THEIR VIEWPOINT (or their position on the matter) and really reinforces it and agrees with it? Do you see how they would appreciate that?
Once you validate them, you can say what you want. BUT SAY IT GENTLY. Say it in a way that will be acceptable for them to hear. An example of not doing this is "Yo! Stop dumping so much money on me! You're making me feel like crap!!!" This is not gentle and will cause upset and then you'll have a whole new thing to deal with.
So validate them, then GENTLY say what you want to. You can even end off by asking them if your request of having them not spend so much on you is okay. Here's an example:
"I know you guys think a lot of me. I see how much you spend on me and I really appreciate it. It's kind that you do such kind things for another. I feel a little uncomfortable having so much money spent on me though. Not that I'm not thankful for it, I just would like to ask if you guys wouldn't spend so much. Is that ok?"
But watch out - really validating people will cause them to like you even more! What happens in the end is you have allowed your viewpoint (or opinion) to be okay and have allowed theirs to be okay too. Hope this helps. Good luck.
2006-07-09 17:53:29 · answer #5 · answered by Jeff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell them that they dont need to buy your love a hug will do if not better than going anywhere
2006-07-09 13:44:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's okay.. you should be thankful though. Maybe they dont have anything to spend their money on to! So just enjoy it.
2006-07-09 13:40:29 · answer #7 · answered by --gWynEtH-- 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its becuase they love you very much, why would you wanna stop? When they pass away where the hell are they gonna take you then?
2006-07-09 13:40:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
research a charity that you would like to donate to and ask them to give the cost of future gifts to that charity.
2006-07-09 13:45:08 · answer #9 · answered by gracedfavored 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must have a reason to not follow them ,so honestly tell them,and tell appreciating words
2006-07-09 13:58:38 · answer #10 · answered by raha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋