What should I do????????

Question

I like this guy at work and he likes me, at least that what he says. He is still "living with his ex and they share a bed and still have sex. Well, we had sex almost 2 weeks ago and he just told me he didn't use protection and wants to know if i have started my period. I should in a couple of days.
Then to make things complicated i asked if we were going to be a couple and he said that he cant cause of his ex, said she would flip out. Plus he doesnt want anyone at work to know about us. But he jokes with one of his friends that there might be a baby on the way and then smiles at me.
It sounds to me as if he is still with his ex but wants me to be pregnant. What should I do. I really like him and Im so confused.
Only people with genuine advice answer.
Thanks

I have tried to talk to him about her but he keeps saying that its complicated. That they are only living together cause she just finished school and doesnt have a job so she cant afford the apartment by herself.

Answer 1

If I come across very harsh, I'm sorry. You are in a pretty serious situation.

For starters, you should not be having unprotected sex with someone you KNOW is sleeping with someone else..... You are leaving yourself vulnerable to a disease. Diseases that *can* be passed to unborn babies. Please protect yourself if you are going to continue seeing this guy.

He is living with someone else and has NO intention of leaving her. Do you want to have a child with someone who is dishonest and unfaithful?
So, if he left she would flip out, big deal.... that is what restraining orders are for...... it sounds like he doesn't WANT to leave.

and why the big secret at work? If you *are* pregnant what happens when you start to show? What do you tell everyone when they ask you who the father is?
Who will be there through labor and delivery, buy diapers and payy the rent while you are off work for 6 weeks?

Having a baby is a lifetime comittment and you want to that when you are ready, not when your (practically married) boyfriend feels like it.

My advice: go to the dr and get checked as soon as possible, both for disease and pregnancy.
Tell this guy you deserve someone who wants to be with YOU and only you. If he really cares, he will get rid of the live-in. If he doesn't MOVE ON you deserve better.

You want to have children with somone you LOVE not "really like" and parenting is complicated enough without having all this drama.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Are you out of your mind? What the hell are you doing even giving this creep the time of day, let alone sleeping with him. You had sex and you don't know if he was wearing a condom, and you are telling us the two of you did not even discuss birth control??
Honey, you are being USED, USED, USED and the sad part is, you think it is ok....
Whoever allowed you to reach the age you are with such low self-esteem and lack of self respect should be shot...
First, lets talk about co-worker fraternization. This is something that 90% of business seriously frown on, so playing around with a "married" co-worker is the same as putting your hand into a fire and not expecting to get burnt. DUMB...
If this situation creates conflict at work, one or both of you are without a job. With the possibility of being pregnant, Christ...
Now, about the "ex" part.... Please, please do not talk to strangers, you will get into some serious trouble for the propensity you have for being this gulliable.
Did you not discuss this situation and your attraction to this guy with someone who could have told you ANY RELATIONSHIP with this guy and his BS would be a great big LIE?
He is a fool, and you are a fool's plaything. I am not sure which is more pathetic, he or you.
You want some advice and while a bit late, here is some and I assure you that you will not like it. You need to understand a life-long philosophy:
"THE RIGHT THING IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE THE HARDEST"
Here's the right thing.
Stay so far away from this POS that he appears as a mirage in your mind. Do not say a WORD about this to anyone who is related to your job/work. Do not do ANYTHING about his relationship, don't even THINK OF TELLING HIS EX. If possible request a transfer to another dept/office, try to remove yourself from this location.
If you turn out to be pregnant, I am truly sorry, for you will then be faced with an entirely different situation and problem, and I suggest that you do the ADULT thing and not cause problems at your job, for you are going to need the insurance and the money.
If you are not pregnant, you better PRAY TO YOUR GOD that you will never, ever, be this stupid again, and THANK HIM FOR ALL YOUR WORTH that you got this lucky.
People, men and women who TRULY WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE will not remain with someone else unless extinuating circumstances apply. Death, fear...
He is:
1. Lying to you about his "ex"
2. Lying to her about his feelings for her
3. Lying to his friends about both of you

You better learn long and hard of this life's lesson that this situation has provided for. It, or something similar willl present itself again, I assure you and it would be nice to know that you have grown enough to not fall for this twice.

Answer 3

First of all, why waste your time with a guy who is involved with an ex anyways??? After you figured that out then here is another, why would you want to have unprotected sex with a guy like that and why would you chance having a baby with THAT? Honey, there are WAY to many guys in this world to stay with a loser who just like dipping his di(k in 2 or more differ spots?? You can do better and you really need to think about condoms.

Answer 4

First of all, steer clear of this guy. If he was irresponsible enough to not use protection with you (however, you share that responsibility also), he's not responsible enough to have sex. Especially if he's still living with his ex (and possibly having sex with her).
Go to a doctor and get tested for STDs. On the pregnancy issue- if he's not already committed to you, a baby is NOT going to bring you closer together. It will only create more issues and reasons to argue.

Answer 5

Girl I think you should leave that fool alone and move on and dont get pregnant because he is playing you and he just want you to sweat over him just find you a good man with no kids and get mary and then have kids cause the one you like is a loser and is must like his ex is if did'nt move out yet.If you move onto someone eles he will come runing for you so let him sweat over you and keep you head up and drop them zero and go to the hero.

Answer 6

it sounds like he just used u for sex but if u don't think so tell him if u really love me like u say u do then u would leave your ex for me and IF u r pregnant (make sure u save up some money for the baby just in case he don't help u out ) just tell him i am pregnant and it is your baby and i wont u to help me with it and if he says no then u should go to his house (and if u don't know where he lives then fallow him one day to his home but don't let him know r u fallowing him )and tell his gf about what happened u may get in a fight but i sure u can fight u sound tough and then tell everyone at work how he is not helping u out with baby and then take him out for child suport

Answer 7

this guy sounds like he has used you. the chances are he is still with his ex and you were a bit of fun on the side. i really do think you should get checked out for sti's and if your period is late you need to think about what to do.
this guy will never leave his misses for you and to bring a baby into this situation will cause a lot of problems

Answer 8

You should be using protection if he is still having sex with the other woman so you dont get any STDS! I would end it with him because it is too much complication, he wants to have his cake and eat it too. You have to think about yourself, do you always want to come second?

Answer 9

Sounds like he is playing you both. If you knew that he was still sleeping with his ex then why did you sleep with him? That is sleeping with her and whoever else she done slept with. Maybe she is pregnant too. Better Jerry Springer because it sounds like there will be some baby momma drama here.

Answer 10

If he is living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed, and sticking his body parts into her, then she is NOT an ex.
The best advice I can give you is to tell him to take the proverbial hike. Once he gets you pregnant, he is going to bail on you, sure as shootin'... or you could call his house and give his "ex" the goods.