A question for men who work with their hands and women that date them?

Question

So, I just started dating this guy who does remodeling sorts of stuff. His hands are very rough, but it really bothers me that they are DIRTY. I mean, sure he washes them, but there's still black gunk under the fingernails. Now, I don't have a problem looking at them, but the thought of these hands inside of me is gross and makes me worry about infection!! I tried to tell him nicely to clean up his hands and he told me that they are "stained." Now I know that some crud is hard to get off, but that's not stains, that's dirt and glue and god knows what. I don't do nearly as much dirty work as he does, but when I do, I tend to wear gloves and then I clean my hands thoroughly afterwards. He tried to scrub them off better, but really I think he need to keep them cleaner to begin with and use the right solvents. Am I being unreasonable? Do any women out there feel the same? Have you guys gotten this request from other women? How can I get teach him to keep his hands clean?

I don't think they are stained, because they are much blacker under the nails and such then elsewhere. A compound that stained would not stain exclusivly under the nails.

Answer 1

Try buying some mechanic's hand cleaner with pumice, and a brush for cleaning hands. Leave it accessible, but do not hound him about it. Eventually he will discover it and start using it.

Answer 2

My first husband used to work on motors a lot. His hands would get very dirty; a lot of grease would get under his nails.

He had a brush that he used to scrub the grease off, and special hand cleaner for mechanics.

He kept them pretty clean, and it was good enough for me. No harm ever came to me from his hands.

Get your boyfriend a nail brush, and some mechanics' hand cleaner.

You'll be fine.

If you make him feel that you are criticizing him for the work that he does, or that you must "teach" him to keep his hands clean, I do not see much future for your relationship. Maybe you should date an accountant.

Answer 3

We in the trade lovingly call it "PERMADIRT" for no matter how hard or how often we scrub, our hands just don't come clean anymore. Don't hound him about it, that will do nothing but give him resentments towards you, and what kind of relationship would that be? Don't buy him anything with pumice in it, all that does is tear up the skin on his hands and it dries out his hands so much they will constantly feel like they are on fire. Most men do try their hardest to look respectful, for their SO's but some things are just out of their control. I hate the way my hands look dirty all the time, but it is a consequence of my job.

Answer 4

It's not unreasonable. Still, it's likely that his hands are stained. My dad's a mechanic, and his hands get *black* with grease and grime. A combination of goop hand cleaner, a good scrubby brush, and some powdered laundry detergent (he always liked Tide; mom would buy him his own box) seems to work best.

Answer 5

Plenty of hand cleansers out there for the blue collar man. Buy one and sit down when the two of you are watching TV and give him a manicure. Either you will be able to show him how nice his hands could look or you will find out that he is indeed cleaning his hands the best he can.

Answer 6

I work with my hands too. I think cleaning them is going to be accomplished by you telling him that he can't put them where they may cause infections...until he cleans them up. Glue, stain, paint, oil...all clean up. He just has to find the stuff to clean them up. I haven't ever been asked to clean my hands, because I keep them clean, but I have been asked to be careful rubbing her nips because they are so rough that they hurt a little. Good Luck

Answer 7

If this is something that bothers you, then tell him over and over until you are satisfied. Everynight I scrape out dirt from underneath my fingernails... yes, it comes out. You both are dating, that means that it is give and take and personal feelings must be recognized.

Long story short, if it bugs you, he should be willing to provide a little extra clean up for you and the pleasures that you give him.
It's your body, and if he wants it, he will clean under his nails.

Answer 8

My fiance's hands are stained as you put it. He works on cars on the side. He gets black grease on his hands it it really does stain them. I can't tell you how to get them clean because we've tried everything with his.

Answer 9

I did building work all my life, over thirty five years of it. Masonary was a big part of my work. Even though my hands were badly chapped in the winter time, they were always spotlessly clean. Compliments about my hands were galore.
Hygiene is habit forming. Lack of it is also.

Answer 10

LOL -- I remember seeing mechanics use Corn Huskers lotion for calluses and rubbing their fingernails across bars of soap before/after working. There are products for people who use their hands (theirs one in a orange container). Maybe treat your man to weekly or biweekly manicures.