Why are women unapproachable?

Question

I have a friend... she gets approached ALL the time. Everyone seems to "like her in that way"... from friend of friends of acquaintaces of neighbours... you get the point.

Is she attractive? No... infact she has very bad skin, wears no makeup , dresses badly (not too feminine) and is flat as a board.


While i know others who are incredibly attractive, yet no-one... EVER seems to approach them...

WHY? She's APPROACHABLE. When she enters a room she lights it up, she makes eye contact with everyone (young and old, male and female) and smiles. She carries herself with elegance and pride.

Why do most women not get approached... They tend to carry an aura of "leave me alone" "approach me and i'll shoot"...

p.s

Why do women rant about men not having the balls to approach them, but then walk around like this. Why do women invest SO much time and effort into attracting men's attention, yet at THE SAME time, do everything possible to let men they shouldn't be given attention?

CLARIFICATION:

This is about "in general", as you walk thru life, not once you have started talking. I have found most girls to be extremely friendly and nice once in conversation, even though they were extremely rude and and unapproachable looking.

Most women I asked however can't say why they looked unapproachable before.

NOTE:

I appreciate all the answers... some are very fascinating... however, no-one answered my question... which is... why do women GO THRU LIFE *looking* unapproachable... this is not about *in interactions with men*,

What FASCINATES ME... is that i will se a girl (a friend, acquintance, lover, whatever), when she's in company with us (me, group of friends, whatever), be VERY sweet and nice and just simply an angel, just a pleasant person to be around, BUT, the moment they walk off somewhere, they IMMEDIATELLY... transfrom RIGHT in front of your eyes. They go from angel to devil-look like *that*... and their face transforms to mean, unapprochable as does their demeanor... I've asked all of them, and they're ALL surprised at the question. They don't know they're doing it. It seems to be unconcious...

What i'm asking here if any woman here is actually concious of why this is happening.

Thank you! :)

Answer 1

myself personally, it's a defense mechanism first and foremost because i am extremely shy. it's like...i would rather seem unapproachable than be approached by strangers and have to have that awkward, scary chit chat moment. i know it seems mean and it makes people think i'm an ice queen (which i am often misinterpreted as) but it's like in the end it's easier for me to be avoided by people than to confront people. the irony is i'm a totally nice and funny person...i don't swear in public...i don't drink...i'm like a total ned flanders...but only the people who know me know that. they see my shyness but others see me as just unapproachable. i often wear my big black sunglasses and always, always have my ipod on to further reinforce the don't approach me aura.

second, i put on my unapproachable aura when i'm travelling alone or out alone late in the evening. it's like, don't mess with me. this is how i'm able to wander around metro stations and downtown streets by myself without worrying about being harrassed. no one has ever harrassed me and i know it's because i just look like i'll start a fight with you if you come near me.

and third, i don't mean to sound arrogant, but i have a fairly symmetrical face and just being that on top of being totally shy of strangers and people i don't know well...it's like...i don't want to be looked at by people. it's like i get stared at a lot and i hate attracting attention period. it makes me feel self-concious like why are you looking at me? is my hair messed up? is there something on my shirt? i got stared at and hit on all the time when i was living in europe and that has reinforced my wanting to seem unapproachable to strangers. i don't covet the limelight. i'd rather hide my face underneath a hood.

you mention how women invest so much time and effort into looking attractive towards men, but for myself, i put in effort to make myself look presentable because it makes me feel less self-concious and nervous when i'm out there in the world. like good i don't have to worry about people looking at me because my hair's not messed up or that my shirt's not wrinkled-looking. it's like, the better presented i am, the less i feel i will be scrutinized by people.

and yes, i do realize i do this on purpose and this is most likely why guys i like or am interested in don't bother to approach me, but like i will let my guard down and let them know i can be approached.

i'm sorry if i sounded mean in this post, but this is my honest answer for this question.

Answer 2

Many women are afraid they're going to get accosted, not approached. After having to deal with too many men who act like every woman everywhere is "up for grabs", they put up an invisible wall to protect themselves.

I also think that you might be mistaken in thinking that women put a lot of time and effort into attracting men's attention. Women mostly try to dress fashionably to feel good about themselves, and it often has less to do with being "man bait" than to impress the general public.

Answer 3

Alot of guy's do not like to be shot down, some have tried and some hear about others and say I am not even gonna try. It's a guy thing. I do know exceptions to this though. I think it equals out in the end.

Answer 4

So you're basically saying that if you saw 2 women in a room, one was, in your opinion, butt-ugly, but was smiling at you - and the other was drop dead gorgeous, but not smiling at you - you'd hit on the ugly one?
I don't believe you, dude. If this was true than gorgeous women would never get a date and ugly women would have all the guys. I know how guys are when it comes to attractive women, you cannot tell me they will hit on the "ugly friend" first.

Answer 5

self confidence .. it doesn't matter what the "person " man or woman look like as well as they got pride and self confidence... and yeah men trying to get the attention of women by the way they shave..dress..perfoum..the way they walk around and pla pla pla .. women do that too !! its normal .. what isn't that some people get things wrong sometimes or that they over react and as a result the woman get offended instead of getting approached !!

Answer 6

i have a friend that doesn't get approached and is very cute. she doesn't understand why men don't seem to like her. the poor thing doesn't understand the 'get the hell away from me, freak' vibe she sends out. nor does she understand why men often tell her they're afraid of her even though she stands a whopping 5'2".

Answer 7

some women (and i stress the word 'some') who seem unapproachable are trying only to attract the men they want to attract, not all men...some think they should be able to choose whom they attract...most women just want to be noticed...there are some who just want to be noticed and be the center of attention, but choose to be more diva-ish...and some women are just plain bitches...some want to tease men and are more into the punishment of not acknowledging the approach...

Answer 8

Why do you think women do whatever they do to attract men's attention? When I dress sexy and put on make up I don't do that for the opposite sex but because it makes me feel good about myself.

Answer 9

I think it's because people just think that the attractive ones wont give them the time of day but the unattractive ones will....idk could be.

Answer 10

maybe coz woman are very twisted n strange individuals at times :s