Been married 13 years and boreing we need help.?

Question

Hello,
We have been married 13 years and our marriage is in the dull has anyone out there have any ideas on how to spice it up.
Hubby works all week and I am a stay at home mom.We cant get a sitter but need ideas on how to get spice at home without letting the kids know what is going on.The kids are 11&14. Help us please.

Answer 1

My 13 year old babysits all the time. So, for a couple of hours go make out in a car. Bring your cell phone if you're nervous.

Answer 2

I have been married for a lot longer than 13. Advice , remember the compliments before marriage and kids. Do it again. I love you should be a daily thing said in the household. You are just as gorgeous today as the day I married you, should be there. The love of the Lord should be the first and most prominent. Love is acquired at home ,outside of the home ,and elsewhere. It isn't on a vacation, it is shopping, cooking dinner together, and loving to be around each other. Touch is a must. My children watched my husband kiss me and if he didn't they thought there was problems. It taught them how to love and be loved. So all of the closet stuff is absurd. Remember sex is just the icing on the cake, not the whole cake. I never had a sitter for my children but we managed to keep our love alive for a long time. Notes saying I love you works. Romance comes from within you and him not from without. I am also a stay at home mom who does home ed. I share accomplishments with my hubby and my life. It is not boring to him.

Answer 3

Give this one a shot---you must (especially first time out as an explorer) change your set and setting---the same surroundings will have a kill effect on this whole deal especially first trip out---get a room somewhere--doesn't have to be marvelous but be sure it isn't a dump either---set your 14 year old up to some responsiblity here to watch over the 11 year old for a few hours some late afternoon --early evening with the 'thing' that there is something that the two of you have to do----pick out a nice bar somewhere---a nicer hotel will unually have the perfect setting---YOU ---doll yourself up and do the real thing here--sexiest outfit--maybe even somewhat risky around the edges---and you go into the bar alone and find a place (say at the bar) and order whatever you want and just sip away---chances are ---you're going to be approached by someone or maybe even a couple of people---just play coy ---be polite but not too interested--give this scene about 30-45 minutes to develop---then hubby arrives---comes in and sits at the bar--as a single---alone--orders---sips and relaxes for some 10-15 minutes and then----notices YOU---by this time you've politely dismissed your at hand suitors and are just sitting and sipping---hubby approaches--remember--he doesn't know you---makes an offer to buy a drink---at this point the two of you have assumed a role of hot gal and new guy in town---you talk---you laugh--he moves in--you toy with him but allow some light guage advances---talk a little more--he sneaks a quick little kiss and a beginning little touch or two---you allow it but nothing really outrageous here or they'll ask you to leave---play this game for awhile (say an hour) maybe another drink--another kiss or two----then he says---want to ?? and you say why not ?? Leave go to the room --wherever and let it all happen from there as if he has actually picked you up------Girl this just might set the woods on fire for you-----It is called the pick-up and it gives you the opportunity to be a hot ***** on the prowl---him the opportunity to be the guy that wins out over the other dudes without a whole lot of effort---the two of you the opportunity to be someone else for a couple or three hours and you are going to experience a restart in something you've been thinking that you've lost------try it and you will find ways to tweak this for the occasional ---play day get away and it will take on a special little place in your arsenal of toys to play with----good luck to the two of you ---now go have some fun

Answer 4

Start dating again. Remember all of the good qualities that caused you to fall in love and get married. At those ages, they can stay at home sometimes. You need a weekend getaway. Try not to spend too much money so don't go far or anyplace extravagant. Since you have most of the free time, you have to get it started. Can you arrange lunch dates with your husband at least once per week. Take and have lunch with him. Throw back yard gatherings, chicken and/or fish, and invite people over. If your husband loves sports, arrange a party when a big game is on and serve the men. That will get him excited and excited about you. Do you dress up for him like you did when you first met? There are a lot of things to try. Have family movie or game night to involve the kids.

Answer 5

This is what I heard, married, marriage, dull,stay at home mom, two kids, one preteen, and teenager. First of all, put the kids in an after school program, so that when your husband comes home he doesn't have to walk into family issue's, at least not right away. I know it doesn't seem fair, but your children is in school during the day, and although you have a household to get managed, he has to produce quality work during scheduled hours. When he gets home he needs to lay back for a while. It's hard to think of our husbands as freaky, sexual creatures that crave sex morning,noon, and night, but, a man is a man. Just because he seems too tired or uninterested in sex doesn't mean that he is. While the children is in school prep your self for a day of sex. A manicure, pedicure, something sexy, or freaky and meet him at the door. Give him an after-work surprise that he'll never forget. Now keep this up at least Once a week. Now, go away on an one day retreat, trust me the kids will be okay. Buy sex toys together, and movies. Block out the fact that you have two curious children at home and have fun.

Answer 6

Read the 1001 Arabian Nights ! The king wanted a new wife everyday(advise of the ministers) and were killing his wives after one night. It was at the end he learned the real meaning of "new wife a day". Try to make everyday new by becoming the old "newly married couples". You both can do it! There are unending possibilities! Just because you have two children, doesnt mean that you have be more a mother/father than a wife/husband. Become the old passionate wife and husband, by now you know what he wants and he knows yours. A wife has to be like a minister to her family, a prostitute to her husband, a servant to husband's needs etc.( This is an Indian, Sanskrit verse translated). I dont know whether west knows the value of married life , but in India its considered permanent, hence we always accomodate each other and find new ways to look new in the bed everynight!!

Answer 7

It is always going to be difficult with your kids around, though even at home, you can work on spicing it up.

But what you really need (and it is worth hiring a sitter or unloading the kids with a relative) is 2 or 3 days in a resort all by yourselves. Make love often, try new things, and make as much noise as you like (in your room).

Your batteries need recharging. You just HAVE to find a way to do this.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Is there family around they could go stay with sometimes? How about their friends..can they spend the night out with them?
I stayed at home with mine too. When kids are around it is hard to get too spicy. I didn't have any family to help. I just focused on raising the kids and knew my time was coming soon. Sometimes we would wake up in the middle of the night to play "house" cause that's when the kids slept the deepest. They are old enough for you and hubby to just go out to dinner alone or a movie aren't they? Pretty soon they will be dating and you can take advantage of the time they are out. We changed one room into a game room for ours. Video games, VCR , table with board games and stereo. I would fix snacks for them and tell them mom and dad needed some alone time. Our door locked. So when they were in their world we went into ours. they would ask us what we did with our alone time. I told them we talked and sometimes just napped. I also told them it made us happier parents. They liked us being happy. Don't know how your kids are together. Might not work for you. You aren't alone tho. Its part of being a parent. But it will be over before you know it. We have an empty nest now. Didn't have a bit of trouble with that. Hang in there. You are on the downhill slide.

Answer 9

Do you have any relatives close by where the kids could spend the night? Or a tent.. let the kids go "camping" in the back yard for the night? Or.. you and hubby go camping in the backyard. Feed the kids early...put in their favorite video and you and hubby have a nice candle light dinner without the kids.

Answer 10

We have been married for 23 years and I love my husband very much. Our children are all grown and on their own,but when they were home we did not hide the fact that we were very much in love. I think your children need to know that you love each other. Don't hide it. Schedule dates with each other on the weekend since he works all week. Don't wait for him to do it,you can. It can be a movie and dinner or lunch. Your children are old enough to watch themselves while you go out. Hold hands,do what ever but let your man know how much you love him. He will respond,trust me. Don't fall in that trap of doing everything for your children because when they grow and move on it will be you and your husband . Your children need to see what a loving relationship is. You and your husband are their examples.