I did something terrible to my cousin and now I'm forbidded to talk to her. What can I do?

Question

I suppose I should tell you the terrible thing, huh? Okay, this whole thing REALLY started in February. My cousin was having a party (she lives 1 or 2 states away from us by the way) and we couldn't come. That made my middle aged sister and I kinda upset. And you know when you get upset how you say stupid things? Well, that's what we did. My younger sister wasn't upset because she was the only one who was gonna see her this summer. Then my younger sister wrote everything down that we said (remember we were mad so who knows what we were saying) and tells our cousin the very next day! My middle aged sister and I burst into tears and apologize and our younger sister just grins. So, for the months after that, we got in little fights with her. But the biggest one was the most terrible thing to do. I only did it because I was jealous my younger sister always got to see her and talk to her. I would delete it but you can't. I wrote a couple Yahoo Answers! questions about her.

I know I shouldn't have done it, but I did and I can't seem to find a way to fix it. I tried apologizing, my aunt (cousin's mom) said they forgive me, but said my cousin can no longer speak to me or trst me anymore. I ran away for 3 1/2 hours yesterday, thinking about the terrible thing I did. However, I couldn't think of a solution, I just got a lot of moskito bites. Remember, I need help. If your gonna say it's all my fault, just for the points, DON'T! I really want some help right now. I feel terrible!

Answer 1

Try writing your cousin a letter (a true old fashioned letter, with pen and paper.. then mail it). She may or may not read it. But it will help you get how you are feeling off your chest.
You shouldn't have said or done the things you did, but your sister also shouldn't have wrote them down and ran behind your back and tattled on you. Let your family members know you were speaking in the heat of the moment from jealousy. That you may have felt that way right that second, but that is not truly how you feel now. Apologize for any and all actions and comments that have been made due to that incident. Let them know that you care about them and understand if it will take them time to forgive. That you miss the relationship that you had with them, but you will respect their desicion and give them space. Then give them space, constantly rehashing the situation lets no one start to heal from it. Your cousin's feelings are probably hurt, who knows how long it will take them to truly forgive you. Just make sure they know that you will still be there when they are ready to start over again. And you will have to start over again.. these things take time and patience. There is no quick fix.

Answer 2

First of all, both sets of parents should see how your younger sister is playing games with you all. No it was not nice that you said mean stuff about ur cuz (is she really that skinny that it makes you worried?). If so then your questions are not out of line and your family should be thankful that you took the initiative to try to find a way to help her. But if not and you were just making it up I think its drastic that they are forbidding you to see her.

But when people are mad, especially younger people, they tend to talk about other people. That's just the way you kids are. And yes you should have been punished along with your middle sister and your younger sister for being a tattle tale. What was said between you guys should have been sacred and this should be explained to your younger sister. Sisters should stick together. As should cousins. I hope they come around.

Answer 3

First of all, I have to say this sounds like the goings on of 15 yr olds. If you are a teen then don;t worry about it, it'll blow over, just give it time, let her come to you.

If you're adults, or even if you're not, you have to seriously question the motivations of your younger sister in stabbing you in the back like that. She deserves to be frozen out until she apologizes and comes up with a damn good explenation for that little piece of nonsense.

As far as you and your cousin, don't worry about. She'll come around, and if she doesn't, screw her.

Answer 4

I would suggest to write your cousin a letter and explain everything to her. I'm not sure why you would think it was your cousins fault for not being able to go. So in your letter explain to her that it was all said out of disappointment and anger and that you are very sorry. Tell her how hurt you were and that you were wrong to say these things and that you never meant to hurt her. Sometimes a person can say things in a letter that they cannot say in words.

Answer 5

How old are you guys anyway.? Yes people say stuff in anger all the time. That is why they always say to watch what you say. I think that I would send her a letter or email her or something and tell her that you are sorry. And I would also ask her, "have you not every said something in anger that you didn't mean"? Everybody does it at one time or other.

Answer 6

Well one thing is for sure that you can't delete it no matter how wrong you are. The best thing that you can do is to make ammends. Family fued usually takes time to heal. Believe me, I have been through alot of these kind of situations. I might suggest that you make the first move to apolagize. Also jealousy is one thing you can't have between family and relatives.

Answer 7

you're going to have to find a way to earn back your cousin's trust. let her know how you're feeling. if she is too upset with you right now, try writing a letter. let her know you feel like a b***h for the way you behaved. suck up to her. let her know that you'll be there when she's ready to talk.
remember, she is hurt but that doesn't mean she stopped loving you. give her some time and space. she'll move past it.
let this be a lesson and learn from it.

Answer 8

Well it seems you did a lot to repair the situation. Just give it time. And i think you should keep your feelings from your little sister for a while. Because if seems like she use your words against you. And tease you afterwards.

Answer 9

Why could you not go? Why does your sister get to do all of the fun stuff? Forget your sister and your cousin. Who needs then?

Answer 10

you should tell your cousin how sorry you are and show her you really mean it as for your younger sister you should tell her to grow up and make her realize what she did was wrong and that it now hurts you relationship with you cousin!! hope this helps!!