How do you get a guy to cool down?

Question

I really like this guy. He's really sweet. But he's been pushing love at me since the very first day. He doesn't give me a chance to love him back. We can't even have a normal conversation. All his answers are about love even if I'm talking about something totally different. He's driving me crazy! I don't know if he's obsessed or just desperate. But he doesn't know how to cool down or give me some space to love him back. And I tell him straight out to slow down but he can't seem to take the hint. He was married before but his wife cheated on him. I wonder why. He probably smothered her too. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I can't seem to get through to him. He's slowly turning me off, but I don't want to give up on him because he's a really great guy.HELP!!!!!

Answer 1

Throw some cold water on him.

Answer 2

It may seen flattering that this guy is showing interest in you, but this is not normal. How do think he will act if you actually give into his "love" demands. This is NOT love it is a control tactic!!! More times than not these are the types of guys who turn into abusers, emotional or otherwise. I'm sure he appears sweet, charming, & probalbly very good looking. Do you have proof that his wife cheated, or is he just saying that to gain your simpathy so he can continue to try and control you? Maybe she just left him because of the way he is and is now with someone else in a normal relationship. I'm seeing so many red flags here. I don't know you personally, but this kind of situation bothers me.
~Be carefull & Best of luck~

F.Y.I. from :
https://www.casadeesperanza.org/en/warningsigns.html

*Signs of Potential Danger*
________________________________________________
~Controlling behavior: monopolizing your time; not allowing you to make decisions about your clothes, how to wear your hair, investing money, or looking for a job
~Unrealistic expectations: may expect you to be the perfect partner, lover or friend.
~Hypersensitivity: are often easily insulted or hurt.
~Family history: may have seen domestic violence in their nuclear families. They were raised believing that domestic violence is normal behavior.
~Sexist attitude toward women: abusers usually believe in strict gender roles. They believe that it is your job to take care of the home and him.
~Isolation: from friends, family, neighbors. You fear that if you say "hello" to a friend, he will get jealous and angry.
~Verbal abuse: calling you hurtful and harmful names; putting you down either in private or in public
~Mood swings: a personality that is "up and down." You don't know what will suddenly make him mad. He may be happy one minute and angry the next minute.
~Blaming: abusers blame you and/or others for their problems, for example, losing a job, end of a relationship
~Jealousy: of your friends, family, co-workers...any relationship other than your relationship with the abuser

Also take a look at:
http://www.safehome-ks.org/abuse/edu/dviolence/warningsigns.htm
http://home.cybergrrl.com/dv/book/warn.html
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm#signs

Answer 3

Okay, imagine putting up with this wet blanket's antics for thirty years.

Now imagine not having to.

People don't change. Once the romance wears off, he'll probably start smothering you with religion or tax advice.

Cut the vine before it chokes the oak, if you get my meaning.

Answer 4

Baby its seems he is afraid to lose you.maybe he thinks that it was he's fault before that he was not caring/loving her wife that's why she go away.he is afraid that it might happen again.tell him its good but in talking about it all the time maybe will make you sick and be scared of...dunoo if you understand me he3...or do this one...leave him for a few days and when he misses you and calls you then tell him directly the reason...or bye2 again(joke)

Answer 5

sounds like he's trying too hard. His buddies have given him some advice on what they think it takes to sleep with a girl and he doesn't know they are full of sh**.

sit him down and talk to him. tell him that he isn't going to get anywhere with you if he doesn't calm down.

Answer 6

Try writing to him. Why not send him a copy of your question. You need to let him know what he’s doing, if that doesn’t work try somebody else. He sounds like a friend of mine.

Answer 7

I would cool it down myself. Don't return calls for a few days---limit some time with him. Take a break. If he wonders why---be really BLUNT with him.

Answer 8

Tell him about it. If he wont let you speak then will it work anyway?

Write him a note or something.

Answer 9

damn mayb hes throwing all of his ex wife anger at you.

Answer 10

LET HIM KNOW ABOUT YOU AND HAVE FRIENDLY TALKS ABOUT EVERY THINK IN THS POSITION YOU CAN LOVE THEM AN D HE TOO. MAYBE HE CANT TELL YOU HE WANT SEX WIRH YOU MAYBE AND MAYBE!!!!!!!!!!!