My working hours are not specific so they are times whereby i am too tired to pick him up from my mum's place. Sometimes, i feel guilty not having to spend more time with him. Thus, i try to give in to him whenever possible.But I do not want to pamper him to much. At the same time, I do not want to demanding or strict.
2006-07-09 02:10:20 · 10 answers · asked by Liqmax 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I am married to a wonderful man now, but before I met him it was me and my daughter up against the world. I understand all to well the exhaustion that follows a hectic work day followed by a night of taking care of a child and trying to keep up with housework at home. I understand the fear that your child won't know you the way other children know their mothers and I understand the fear that you don't have time to do right by your child. I would suggest speaking with a counselor.. If you call different counseling clinics there are usually ones willing to take you on a sliding fee and usually when they do that your first couple of visits are free.. A counselor might be able to help you come up with a weekly routine. Talk to your boss about having one specific day a week off- If you get paid more for weekends, try a weekday, and make that YOUR DAY with your son. Take him to the park, or just sit at home all day and watch cartoons. You need to talk with his babysitter (sounds like it's your mom) about a discipline system that you BOTH will follow. The more routine you have with him, the better. Maybe I misunderstood what you typed but it sounds like the little guy spends some nights with Grandma because you're too tired to pick him up. If this is the case- STOP DOING THAT. He needs every minute he can get with you. I understand you're tired, but so is he and he needs to be around his mama as much as possible. Good Luck!
2006-07-09 03:07:27 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer F 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your situation sounds terrible. If you are not your child's primary caregiver, and you are not, the normal workings between mom and child can't work. Of course you should feel guilty for not spending more time with him.
To be demanding or strict with a three year old is cruel and shows an utter lack of understanding of the needs of children. Be loving, kind, fun, INTERESTED IN HIS INTERESTS. BUT, Don't ever give in and allow him to do something you wouldn't slloe if you were actually mothering him. Doing that only gives you more to feel guilty about. "I'm doing a lousy job being with my son, so when I'm with him I'll do a lousy job parenting him." Does that make sense? NO.
2006-07-09 03:39:39 · answer #2 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm no going to pass judgment since I don't know if you are a single mom trying to make ends met, it sounds that way since your mom has to watch him. I know that your job demands alot of you but you have to try your best to take him as much as possible. You can have strict rules and expectation of good behavior and loving at the same time. Consistency, Consistency, Consistency! Children do not mind rules if they know what to expect every single time and this helps to have a well behaved child. Don't give in to him all the time because you will create bigger problems down the road. Don't let your guilt of not being there drive you to giving in to all of his demand. He will then have the expectation of getting everything he wants and that's not how the world works. You are trying to bring up a young man that will strive for goals and not a lazy man that wants everything handed to him. Always keep the big picture in mind and he will not love you any less if you keep to the rules. Just makes sure you don't sway and like I said BE CONSISTENT! gl!
2006-07-09 02:25:30 · answer #3 · answered by The Kings 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're hardly going to be strict, sounds like you're a push over at this point and you're child's only 3 yrs old. Set boundaries and be consistent with discipline (in following through with what you're going to say you'll do) or your child will be walking over you for the rest of your life. Change the pattern now or else you'll have bigger issues when the boy is a teenager!
2006-07-09 02:18:48 · answer #4 · answered by chariot804 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just set some basic rules like manners and cleaning up after himself. Stick to the rules. If you give in sometimes he will throw a tantrum the other times until you give in. This results in a spoiled brat.
2006-07-09 04:04:14 · answer #5 · answered by optimistic_dr3am3r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Above all else always tell him how much you Love him. When i find myself having to disciopline 1 of my 5 kids , I always make sure that they understand what they did first. Then I stick to my guns & dole whatever punishment has been given for that particular "crime". YOur son will repect you more if you make him mind his manners (so to speak). & you will be grateful to yourself when he gets older & understands that there are repercussions for any wrong actions.
2006-07-09 02:19:56 · answer #6 · answered by the7_cs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to get your priorities straight. Your son should come before your job. That way you don't need to feel guilty about leaving him so much.
2006-07-09 02:15:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you had better learn to be strict or you will have grandkids before hes in middle school. timeouts and light spankings work great. your not going to have your mom forever. go get your son everyday. dont abuse your mother like that you laid down and made him now its time to raise him not your mom. mothers like you who have someone else deal with their kids make me sick
2006-07-09 02:13:50 · answer #8 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop being soft you will regret it.as the child gets older he will learn how to make you feel bad and get his way all the time.
2006-07-09 06:57:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
http://www.parentingweb.com/discipline/pw_disc.htm
2006-07-09 02:14:13 · answer #10 · answered by jd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋