Temper Tantrums?

Question

My almost 2 yr old has some odd temper tantrums. He just lays down belly first flat against the ground and cries, almost like the scene in Lilo and Stitch where Nani is trying to talk to Lilo. He pushes my hand away when I try to touch him, and screams if he sees me even remotely near him. If I get too close, he'll crawl a bit away and then lay back down and cry more. Any suggestions as to what to do?
Nothing is obviously wrong when he does it, like his diaper is clean and dry and he's not hungry or thirsty, cold or hot, etc. I just don't understand it and am open to others who have dealt with this kind of thing.
Thank you.

Answer 1

Kids like to push the limits from time to time to see what they can get away with. It is very normal. He is a unique individual and is starting to show that. I wouldn't be too concerned. It is just a phase and he will grow out of it. Best is to just leave him alone when he does that. You will be surprised how quickly kids stop this type of behaviour when they realize they have lost their audience.

Answer 2

Temper tantrums are a normal part of a child's development as he learns self-control. Emotions are hard for young children to hold inside, and hard for them to express in words. So, when they are frustrated, angry, or disappointed, they often cry, scream, stomp up and down, and may even throw themselves on the floor kicking and screaming. Children have temper tantrums when they aren't getting their own way, to get a grownup's attention, or when they are tired, hungry or feeling helpless.

Nearly all children have tantrums between the ages of 1 and 3. Some people call them "the terrible twos." After age 3, temper tantrums taper off as children learn to express their feelings. Children who cannot express their feelings well with words are more apt to continue having tantrums. Temper tantrums may also continue, even when a child is older, if there have been unusual changes or stresses in the child's life.

Don't be surprised if your child has tantrums only in front of you. For one thing, this is one way he can test your rules and limits. For another, children feel safer showing their feelings to the people they trust.

Can temper tantrums be prevented?

You can't prevent all tantrums, but you can reduce the odds of your child having one if you follow these suggestions:

Make sure your child is well rested, especially before a busy day or before a lot of activity.


Keep a daily routine as much as possible, so your child knows what to expect.


Avoid long outings or keeping a child out late beyond her bedtime. If you have a trip, bring along your child's favorite books or toys for entertainment.


Encourage your child to use his words to describe feelings. You might suggest words that can help your child express feelings, such as "I'm really angry."


Let your child make choices when possible. If your child resists taking a bath, you can be firm about the bath, but you might ask which toys he would like to pick to bring in the bath.


Allow transition time when changing activities. If your child is having fun, he will need some time to switch gears when he must change to another activity. For example, if he's playing as dinnertime approaches, give him a five-minute notice that you will be eating soon.
How do I deal with a tantrum?

You see it coming, but it's too late. The tantrum has begun, and now what do you do?

Here are some suggestions that can help you both get through it:

Distract your child by calling his attention to something else, such as a new activity, book, or toy. Or interrupt his behavior with a comment like, "Do you see what that kitty is doing?" Changing your location may work. Try something like, "let's go outside and look at the flowers." Humor, or making a silly face, can work, too, sometimes.


Try to remain calm. Shouting or becoming angry is only likely to make matters worse. The general rule is the more attention you give a tantrum, the more likely it is to happen again.


Ignore it, if it's minor. Either stand quietly and wait until it's over, or silently pick him up and leave the scene. This might mean leaving a store or a checkout line and taking your child to your car to calm down. If you are unable to leave the child alone for safety reasons or because you're in a situation where you can't leave (such as on an airplane), holding her may comfort her.
Some temper tantrums cannot be ignored. The following behaviors should not be ignored and are not acceptable:

Hitting or kicking parents or others


Throwing things in a dangerous way


Prolonged screaming or yelling

Answer 3

Well I think that is the way your child throws a temper tantrum. Usually kids do it for attention but in your case, it sound like he just wants to be left alone. I'm not sure if there's anything to break him of the pattern but you can ask him why he lays there etc and what is making him sad (after he has stopped crying) because your child should be able to talk. Just be glad he's not violent...

Answer 4

it sounds like a meltdown. I have two boys on the autism spectrum ( not suggesting your son is) but I know all about meltdown lol If it is what it sounds like you cant do anything to get him out of it correct? When he goes into complete meltdown dont try to fix it, let him calm himself. I would tell him" You need quiet time" and put him in his room or a quiet place to decompress. Dont be angry or fuel the fire , just give him space. I take my son to his room and tell him its quiet time and when he is done crying , he can come back out. He usually keep screaming for about 5 minutes and I wait until he is quiet and I check on him. Sometimes my presence will get him going again and that when i know he isnt quite ready. I tell him, ok you need more time. that way Im not hurting him or losing my temper and Im giving him a way to try to soothe himself. My youngest goes into meltdowns for the smallest of reasons, like a toy no working right or sometimes I have no idea why. this really seems to be the only thing that works for us. Also he learns that this isnt acceptable behaviour , without losing your temper also. Gl hun, I know how hard this can be :)

Answer 5

Next time he does this, throw yourself down on the floor next to him and start throwing your own tantrum...lol....it works!!

Make sure you do it EVERY TIME he throws a fit ( have other parent do it too), or it won't work.

When he stops crying, calmly ask him if he would like to talk about what is bothering him....if he refuses and starts another tantrum, you start yours again....and repeat this until he answers or stops. Don't force him to answer you, he may not know what his problem is.
My son had some of the worst tantrums you could imagine. My dad told me to try this method and my son immediatly stopped the fit and watched me with this shocked look on his face, then he would get up and find something else to do. It took a couple days of doing this, then he started laughing when I threw my tantrums. After about a week straight of responding to EVERY ONE of his fits in this manner, he stopped the behavior.
Worth a shot... Good Luck!

Answer 6

Temper tantrums are a sign of him trying to be in control of the situation.

Maybe you should give him more choices to make him feel in control.

My 2 1/2 year old girl does the same thing. It used to happen 2 or 3 times a day.

Her peditrician told me to give her some control over little things like:
*what kind of juice to drink
*which outfit to wear that day
*what movie to watch
*which book to read
*walk or run

I hope this helps. It helped me.

Answer 7

Do you bring your kid and let him play with other 2 years old? Do you notice anything different with other kids? Maybe there is something quite different; or you can get comments from other parents about you kid; or other parents may be able to give you advise on dealing with this behaviour.

Try this if it is within your community http://www.parentsinc.org.nz/.

They do courses (outside of NZ too) for
0-5 years old
6-12 years old
13-19 years old
Children at different age have different needs, and will display different behaviour.

Answer 8

He is overcome with emotion and trying to cope. Speak soothingly, respect his need for distance. The more you push at him, the more upset he'll become, and the longer it will take to calm down. He's telling you what he needs. Listen.

Answer 9

I agree with answer #1, first ignore, if at all possible. This little ritual has evolved, and he somehow enjoys it.

I've noticed with my 21 months, that he cries like the world is ending, and to us it's a big deal, to him, it's like saying 'hello'.

Answer 10

I think your two-year old has found a way for attention and to possibly make "mommy" feel guilty. The best thing to do is ignore it....he will eventually come around to you instead of you going to him.