I've been on 5 dates with a guy and not given him any more that a goodnight kiss. I do want to, but I dont think he has tried hard enough to convince me.
2006-07-09 00:20:19 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just Do Him
2006-07-09 11:33:40 · answer #1 · answered by Whodaman 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Depends. If you're letting him pay for all these dates & not helping him at all financially, then yes you are. That's called using people. If he's having to pay for everything, he naively believes you are eventually going to show him more affection, while you are waiting for him to jump through hoops for you. If this is the case, it's very immature, & you should let him go so he can find someone better.
Now, if you are helping him out with the dates, he wouldn't be able to say you were using him, & this shows some maturity on your part. However, the statement that you want to but he hasn't tried hard enough to convince you still sounds immature even in this context. If you want to, & he wants to, then it really sounds like you want him to again jump through hoops for your amusement before you decide to reward him. If this is the case, it makes for a poor relationship, & again, you should let him go.
There should definitely be more concerns to what you do rather than just desire, but your wording makes it sound like he has to perform certain tasks to achieve a goal you both want. That makes no sense. If I am understanding what you wrote correctly, I would say the time has come to either put up or shut up. More precisely, you either both do what you both want, or you let him know precisely why you aren't ready, if you truly aren't ready. If you're just nervous & afraid of a new experience, that isn't wrong. However, if you are using someone or expecting them to perform like a trained seal for your amusement before you become more romantic with them, that is wrong & the relationship will be doomed to failure. You're already serving to build resentment in this guy's heart, & he will resent you more the longer you hold back without a good reason.
2006-07-09 08:17:24 · answer #2 · answered by kiss2envy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends. If you're letting him pay for all these dates & not helping him at all financially, then yes you are. That's called using people. If he's having to pay for everything, he naively believes you are eventually going to show him more affection, while you are waiting for him to jump through hoops for you. If this is the case, it's very immature, & you should let him go so he can find someone better.
Now, if you are helping him out with the dates, he wouldn't be able to say you were using him, & this shows some maturity on your part. However, the statement that you want to but he hasn't tried hard enough to convince you still sounds immature even in this context. If you want to, & he wants to, then it really sounds like you want him to again jump through hoops for your amusement before you decide to reward him. If this is the case, it makes for a poor relationship, & again, you should let him go.
There should definitely be more concerns to what you do rather than just desire, but your wording makes it sound like he has to perform certain tasks to achieve a goal you both want. That makes no sense. If I am understanding what you wrote correctly, I would say the time has come to either put up or shut up. More precisely, you either both do what you both want, or you let him know precisely why you aren't ready, if you truly aren't ready. If you're just nervous & afraid of a new experience, that isn't wrong. However, if you are using someone or expecting them to perform like a trained seal for your amusement before you become more romantic with them, that is wrong & the relationship will be doomed to failure. You're already serving to build resentment in this guy's heart, & he will resent you more the longer you hold back without a good reason.
2006-07-09 07:34:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think you're being a b*tch because you've been on a date with a guy five times and you haven't given him any more than a good night kiss. But what exactly do you want to do? Kiss him passionately? Have sex with him?
I'm not saying that you ARE playing a game, but don't. If you're being subtle, maybe he's just not catching on.
In the absence of further information from you, because your situation is unclear to me, I'd say that perhaps you two aren't "clicking," even though you've been on five dates.
2006-07-09 07:27:23 · answer #4 · answered by cboni2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only you know if yer bein a "b" or not. and if you want to already, why does he have to "try hard enough to convince you"????
if you are ready to give him more than a goodnite kiss and he is open to more....jeese, sry, still stuck on the "convince me" thang...lol...then just go for it
if someone has to try hard enough to convince you, ya don't really want to anyways
jeese, try hard enough to convince you????
maybe ya better rethink what you are wanting here if you have that attitude about it
2006-07-09 07:25:15 · answer #5 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no your being smart!! lots of girls will sleep with a guy on the first date. take time feel him out and if he really wants you he'll wait!! you sound like you got a good head on your shoulders so when YOUR ready make the next move
2006-07-09 07:25:21 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well on the 2 date if i didnt get a kiss from you i would drop your *** real quick lol
2006-07-09 07:25:33 · answer #7 · answered by little ace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I would be the same way and I am never a what you said.
2006-07-09 07:23:07 · answer #8 · answered by nastaany1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should at least give a hint, or he'll just remain clueless.
2006-07-09 07:26:07 · answer #9 · answered by drown_sound 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither have you tried hard to get that!!!What is preventing you?
2006-07-09 07:24:08 · answer #10 · answered by THE WORRIER 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋