How do you love someone unconditionally?

Question

I've always been very high maintenance and have always put a lot of attention on looks,brains,class and wealth in the opposite sex.My fiancee and I are supposed to get married in 6 months and I know he loves me unconditionally as he's proven time and time again but I just don't think I'd be capable of ding the same for him.If anything was to happen to him that would damage him physically or worse I wouldn't be able to cope and would walk away for sure.How do other people fo it?What keeps you there by their side?I've always walked away when things are less than perfect and I don't think I'll ever be able to change.Do I still marry him?

We're both 22 and have been together for 3 years now.I have no physical flaws the way I see it and I work my ass off and spend thousands to make sure things stay that way.I wouldn't expect him to stick around if anything was to happen to me to alter the way I look or worse either.

Answer 1

This won't be chosen as best answer for sure. But aside from that, face the fact that you are shallow, I don't think it fair that you marry this guy. You do not love him; If you did, you'd accept him as he is , get married and know that you'll love him even if he does change physically.

Why, with all your looks, brains, class and wealth, why don't you just buy perfect Boy toys and discard them when they get a little tarnished. Better , yet get a perfect blow -up replica of your self, only with male genitalia, then you could live happily ever after with the person you love more than anything else in the world.

Answer 2

If you know you can't make that type commitment, because that is what marriage is, the ultimate commitment, FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE, then you should do the guy a favor by not marrying him. No one deserves to love someone only to have that person admit they wouldn't stand by their side when the going got tough.

How do people make that type commitment? Because they don't have the same character flaws as you. If you want to change, you need to figure out what makes you the shallow person you are. Otherwise, you need to let anyone you get involved with know up front that it's all about the money, what they look like and what they can do for you.

A man who is actually marrying for love shouldn't have to wake and find his wife married for convenience.

Answer 3

You're basically asking us how you can become a person who is not shallow. Since you're only 22, you should probably wait and see if you grow out of that, and learn to apprecaite things that go a little deeper than looks, money, etc.

If looks, money and material things are very important to you, then why not hold out for someone who has all that and more?

Ask yourself this when you're trying to decide if someone is worth spending the rest of your life with - "when we are old, fat, gray and 80 years old - is this someone that I will be able to have a conversation with?"

Make a list of all the things that are important to you in a relationship and in a mate - prioritize those things, and think about what you can and can't live without. How does your fiance hold up to that?

Answer 4

The physical fades. You're 22, so you'll be 23 soon and then 24 and years later, you'll be 37. Your body will physically change--you're aging. You and your soon-to-be hubbie should recognize that love transcends the physical. If your relationship is only on this level, what a shame. Experience the spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and ethical qualities of your mate. No one is perfect. Even if you appear perfect on the outside, you're not just by your mode of thinking and suspicion that you cannot love your future husband passed his physical appearance. How imperfect, and how tragic!

You should keep yourself physically fit and healthy, but you should also exercise the other aspects of being a compassionate and mature human being.

Get passed the physical, and you may find that you are capable of more than you originally expected. Good luck.

Answer 5

There's nothing wrong with being attracted to certain people, but if you can't say you will love your fiance` if anything happens to him in any way, you need to do some serious thinking. He deserves unconditional love and to know he can count on you if something should happen to him. My b/f became ill, and not once did I ever have a thought of leaving him.Instead,I wanted to be with him 24/7. Uncondtional love means you love them always, not just when things are great or going smooth. Money might buy you happiness for awhile, but it will only be temporary. Love isn't about how much they have,how handsome or gorgeous a person is, or how smart they are. People can loose wealth over night, looks fade, even smart people could get alzheimers. It's about love and how you feel about the person. Love isn't when you can live with a person, it's when you can't live without them. You stay by their side because you love them ,and because life isn't and wouldn't ever be the same without them. When you truly love the person, you love them at any size, poor or rich, healthy or ill, and in every way. You would even live in a tent with them, with very little. You have to make the choice for you, but how would you feel if he was the one asking this about you? It sounds like you have a wonderful man who truly loves you. True love doesn't come around often.

Answer 6

If you focus so much on appearance and think you would run if things changed, by all means RUN NOW! How many 70 year olds do you know that have a firm butt, no wrinkles, no age spots etc.? Marriage is a lifetime commitment. And just for the record...because you see yourself with no physical flaws, doesn't mean other people see you that way. As my granny told me...beauty is only skin deep but, ugly is to the bone.

Answer 7

Loving someone unconditionally is that you'd risk anything to be with that person and you'd be there for that person no matter what.

I think you need to postpone your wedding for a while and experience love before you actually marry him. It seems like you don't even know how to love unconditionally yet.

Don't break up with him. He's already proven to you that he loves you so much, and he'd give his life for you... it would crush him if you broke up with him...

My advice is, you postpone the wedding until you know how to love, he'll understand if he loves you like what you say. Please, just don't think of anything else. Think about your fiance and be sincere about your feelings.

Answer 8

You need not be hung up on the physical aspect of love...that's fleeting. You wanna know what love is...I've been married 6 years and had to recently wipe my wife's @$$ because she couldnt do it.

You better tell him that you cant be counted on in the clutch...dont be a fair weather wife.

Answer 9

i dont really know how long the two of you have been together but if its long enough for him to see how superficial you can be than perhaps you both have a future together. lets just hope he never needs you in some form of extreme moral support under extreme circumstances. than again you may even rise to the occasion and suprise yourself.

Answer 10

Ask yourself one question, do you love him and do you want to spend the rest of your life with him? If there is doubt and the answer is no, walk away.