BF says most women who get HIT deserve it. Agree ?

Question

I'm afraid that I may have to run screaming from my boyfriend of almost 4 years. Im almost 30, he's almost 40.
He used to seem perfect & still has a lot of surface charm to those who only know him superficially ( handsome, mensa iq, witty and has a fascinating job)
He used to seem deep & caring to me, but I'm afraid he has darkness in him. 1.- I'm 5'5 125 lbs and he's says he'd like me better and be more interested in marrying me if I weighed 110-115. Strike 1
2.- He constantly lusts after girls on TV and in Movies & on the street who appear to be only 16-18. He has even said how hot he finds his friends daughters who are just turning 18 (he thought they were hot at 15) Strike 2
3.- Lastly & most disturbing he has gotten physical shoving me or throwing things at me when I stand up for myself. I broke up after he did that, he hasnt done that in 2 years.
But yesterday he told me that most of the times women who are hit DESERVE it. He then added that I deserved it in the past.

I feel that I should break up with him, but Im kind of scared how he will reacted.
I know that the writing is on the wall.
In the past he has insinuated that he would never forgive me if I broke up with him and didnt remain close to him.
That he would feel vengeful.
:-(

Answer 1

Girl,
Just like a letter...I used to be a victim..Leave..I was smart though..I beat that a**!!I Realized I was letting a man wope me.. I left... If he made that comment about 'Deserving it', he'll do it again..I'm serious!!!! He's also aging..Your still younger..It's somethimg going on that you have no control over..Young girls??,,,weight lose,,,,hitting you!!!! Stop now.. You're actually taking to someone who's been through it.. Be careful..Sometimes these men turn to stalkers when you leave them..Keep some type of defense object by you..(Knife,wood beater,razor blade,etc..)..Keep me informed...Take care of you...The real man will follow...

Answer 2

I really hope you get this resolved, but I don't think there's any reason you should stay with him, unless you really feel that in your heart. It sounds to me like he doesn't respect you at all, and I'm sure you deserve way more credit than he gives you (from what I read.) If you think he'd really retaliate or hurt you in some way if you break up, you really need to get help!! He sounds kind of dangerous, when you said he said he seemed vengeful. Whatever you do, don't let him rule over you, and stop you when you stick up for yourself.

Good luck and stay safe! I hope you have a happy future! I'm sure there are many more men out there that will appreciate you way better than that.

Answer 3

Okay, my sister is in this situation and she has kids! I get angry at her all the time because she just complains about it and never does anything but "talk" to him about it. Oh gimme a break. He isn't meant for you. You deserve better any you know it, so why stay. Fearing him gives him power over you. Don't let him push you around. Go to a friend's house or your parent's house. (If a friend, one that is not his and knows about this stuff. And if no one knowns, start telling people what he's been saying. You need people who can stand besidfe you and confirm this **** if it comes to him finding you and trying to beat down the door. If he shows, call the cops, and have the other poeple tell them what they know. If your super afraid.. here is a trick. it sounds like this dude is a drinker, wait till you know he is drunk and out driving, then call the cops on him. Give'em the plate number and tell them you want it down as anonamus (sp?) I don't want to see you go through what my sis has gone through. I or my mom have had to go and pick up the kids and sometimes her too just to get them away from her husband's dumb azz.

Answer 4

No. Most women that get hit don't deserve it. In fact a woman that should get hit is almost nonexisnt. You shouldnever hit a woman. I have grown up with that all my life.

If you are scared of your boyfriend talk to the police. You can file a restraining order against him and if there is real threat then you police will strictly enforce it. Or talk to the police for other ways to keep your self safe. It is there job.

Answer 5

wow! another looser, no women do not deserve to be hit or beat down and it sounds like he maybe a possible pedophile, dont be scared to walk out but when you do get a protective order the same day. Now thats just paper work but will stand in court if he does come after you and if he does that then have mace available. that atleast will give you a chance to get away if he attacks you,then call the police , he wants to make you feel weak and scared, dont do it.

Answer 6

i do not agree... not totally. some women push it to the limit. if a woman hits a man first , what does she think? he cant hit me because im a woman..... wrong answer! women also run there mouths... i know this man - im a woman.... enough said. i have done some stuff to my ex'es that i know damn well i deserved it... { me getting violet first) not acceptable... ever. i have also been abused by a man when he was drunk and on drugs, and he dient even remeber... hell no i dident deserve that! but anyway... hes a sssssss hole and if he likes little girls and bit...ches about your weight... drop the looser honey.... im 33 and my boyfriend is 19( almost 20).. he dont even look at chicks that age.... hes more grown than that! and im a fat girl...lol... hes just plain wrong ! i hope you dont have any kids with him....good luck

Answer 7

DUH...Pack your sh** and get out!!!! Run, do not walk!

1. How heavy is he????? Tell him to lay off the pizza and beer then!!!

2. If he's looking at his own kids...check the sexual preditors list and make sure he's not already listed!! To the cops have a Nomination Box for that PUBLIC LIST?

3. He deserves a 2x4 up the back of the head for saying that! No man or woman DESERVES IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

He may not be that bad now, however, if you get married, or god forbid procreate with him..now listen carfeully!!! IT WILL GET WORSE! He lusts after teenagers..well who's to say that he wont abuse daughters if you have any? He will hit you! Maybe now he's has not reached that comfort level, but he will use marriage and the children as leverage to keep you around. And he will eventually cheat on you. Get out while its still safe. Trust me.

Answer 9

RUN! AND DONT LOOK BACK! no one deserves to be be treated that way!! If you are scared of how he will react leave when he is at work, dont leave a contact address, phone number or anything!! Change ur mobile number, and go where he wont find you!! Good Luck and you deserve soooo much better!!

Answer 10

no one deserves to be abused. nobody should inflict or recieve pain. could you see yourself ten years from know being beaten and him cheating or rather molesting an under age girl? sometimes its better to be alone than with someone crazy. so what if he is handsome is that the only reason you stay? You deserve better. he may be pissed for a bit but just ignore him, he will go on to his next victim.