I lack in confidence. Can anyone help?

Question

I lack in confidence to be assertive and to stand my ground with other people who are bossy and two-faced therefore it's made me a bit of a target for people using me- with the lack of confidence I've got; i find it hard to say 'no' when people ask if they want to root through my personal belongings like private text messages just because of the fear that I'll be bullied like I was at school . Can anyone give me suggestions to make me less of a push over and to help me enjoy the times when i help out with the horses? My mum suggested avoiding the two girls who are nasty to/about me and also locking my tack box and riding bag up (because some of the girls have the cheek to look through other peoples stuff) which I will put into practice next time I go to the stables

Answer 1

Dear asker!
The person answering this question has gone through the same enigma so trust me in my suggestion. If you really wanna build a self esteem , just sit alone one day and close your eyes and just try to recall your accomplishments in life, the last time you made someone laugh, you got a good grade in school, helped a needy, or maybe helped someone at yahoo to resolve his problem.And you will realise that you are a nice person and there is no reason why you should feel low. I would suggest that you also read the book called"YOU CAN WIN" by Shiv Khera.It works like a wonder.
ALL THE BEST and believe in yourself.
yours sincerely
Vanchit

Answer 2

You've come out and asked a question to a lot of perfect strangers so you obviously have some courage don't you? And you ride horses - and you need confidence for that! From reading your question i can tell that in your heart you are a lot tougher and more confident than these pathetic little people who have to push you around to make themselves feel better. Trust me - secure people do NOT feel the need to do that!

Sit back and think about who you are - you are confident, talented, kind (to these buffoons) obviously clever and wise enough to ask for help. Then the next time you are at the stables, hold your head up high, give these girls a big smile and hello then make your way past them and do something else/talk to someone else. If they start touching your stuff, just say 'Don't do that - i don't do it to you' and move it out of their way. Oh BTW - if they persist complain to the stable owners - its a crime to fool with other peoples possessions...!)
If they start teasing, just laugh and say something like 'Sorry i'm a bit busy' and walk off and do something or if you can't, just laugh at what they say like its the most ridiculous thing you've heard. Don't rise! they want a reaction.

Anyway, don't know if any of this is any help at all, but you sound like a person who deserves a LOT better so best of luck and enjoy those horses! :)

Answer 3

I was bullied at school too. In the same way. YOU are right here..you are a nice person, you have manners, and intelligent and clearly are willing to help people. These two girls are clearly cowards..they go around in twos..which is pethetic..and to be nasty to/ about you shows how empty and sad their lives are...they must think you are worth talking about!

You menioned you were bullied at school..maybe you should confront the people who bullied you and ask them why they did it. I was bullied for 'being ugly'.....now i'm a model and have a great job in the media...i confronted a girl who bullied me recently and was surprised how little she had going for her. It really helps you get closure on it. It doesn't mean they are right...they have sad little lives...you are better than them and do something to prove it!

Answer 4

bullies are looking for sensitive, lonely ppl. and if u giv them the satisfaction of pushing u around they won't stop. u can try ignoring them...... they won't be bother if you don't give them attention. u also have to remember that bullies bully because they lack confidence and by picki9ng on sumone they will feel better. try making other freinds which do hv confidence....... they can b your insiration to being a confident person. confidence does not mean bulying confidence is when you can stand up for yourself and not hurt anyone in the prosejure.

Answer 5

I think your problem is that you dont like hurting people. Dont give a dam as long as you know that what you are doing is right choose a stand be it yes or no. Remember if you are a good person, there is every likelyhood that you wiil be crossing bad people, and if you are bad, you will be crossing good people. But whichever way, you must hurt people. YOU CANNOT BE IN BETWEEN. So start hurting people right now, and have a say.

Answer 6

Look into mirror, smile at yourself and say: I love myself. Iam satisfied with my appereance and personality. Sit down and write down all your good qualities. Then read this paper as many times per day as possible. You can stick it on the mirror in your room as well and always read it when you look at yourself. Each time you see your reflexion somewhere, smile and reassure yourself that you are GREAT!
Do sport, eat healthily. do some meditation. It will make you feel good and will improve your mood.
If this doesnt help, visit a profesional, who will help you to become more self-confident.

Answer 7

I got bullied at school - that was until I totally flipped and put the Full Nelson (a painful wrestling submission hold) on one of them which scared the crap out of them.

Answer 8

I think you should deal with your emotions about being bullied in the past. It's that fear which is causing you to react to others in such a way.
Try this:
www.emofree.com

Answer 9

Easy.
Read "Unlimited Power" by Anthony Robbins.

Answer 10

Take a public speaking course. It sounds lame but works!