thing is that my mom never had an emotional shoulder for me so i grew up basically emotionless how do i not do that to my kids. thing is i dont know how to be there emotionally when i really dont know how to deal with that type of thing.
2006-07-08 20:22:23 · 12 answers · asked by sweetness 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Please get professional help. Studies have proven that children who are not shown affection at an early age have more problems in life than children who do. Life is too short, who knows when you are not going to be here? When I was growing up, my mother rarely kissed me or hugged me, nor did she tell me that she loved me. I longed for that so much. When I finally had my own kids-I swore that I would ALWAYS show my kids as much affection and love as I possibly could.
I am proud to say that I have kept my word despite of how I was raised. I hug and kiss my children every waking moment I can and I tell them I love them all of the time. I do not force this on my children it is natural and my children do the same for me, I can tell how happy they are when I praise them and give them hugs and let them know that I am here for them no matter what. Your kids are the future and most importantly they are a reflection of you. You don't want to be an old woman regretting that you didn't show you child how much you loved them.
2006-07-14 18:37:10 · answer #1 · answered by cejea 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My father was the same way. He hardly ever told us kids that he loved us or even kissed us and now when he does it he feels wierd and so do we. Its like I'm always going to remember that one time he told me he loved me. Dont be like that! Its not that hard to say I love you or to be there for you children when they are upset. Remember the way you were brought up emotionless that is how you turned out and that is how your children will turn out. If you dont want that then you are going to have to make a change. I find myself all the time acting like my father and I hate it I try to change. I'm not talking about the emotionless part. I got the loving emotional part from my mother so my child knows I love him. But I'm talking about losing my temper and yelling. Is this how I want my son to turn out or to do to my grandchildren. No! So I have to make a change and learn to deal with my temper. I cant really tell you how to show emotion to your children just as you probably cant tell me how to control my temper. But if it means that much to you then you know you have to change. For your childrens sake. I hope I've been some help!
2006-07-08 20:38:44 · answer #2 · answered by christen t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously you do have emotions otherwise you wouldn't care about your kids enough to ask. Try readinging the book, "Personality Plus for Parents", which tells you how to deal with your child according to their personality. The adult book is educating and funny.
Be the parent that you wish your mother was for you. Your thinking and your behaviors are a choice, and NOT dependent on you past. Make the choice to learn new information which will help you form new behaviors.
2006-07-08 20:31:33 · answer #3 · answered by itsjustme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, make sure you touch your kid every day. A hug, tickling, holding their hand, a kiss on the cheek; anything that goes out of your way to make sure they have human contact. Make sure daily that you say I love you. You might want to consider therapy to learn how to deal with emotions because you'll be needing to help your kids figure out their emotions. Boys especially have a harder time labelling and understanding their emotions. So ask for help and just love them. Kids respond so well to love!
2006-07-08 20:39:16 · answer #4 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. My mother believed in "private space" and she never hugged or kissed me, nor was she cruel though. It has always been hard telling my kids I love them (even though I do to the extreme). Being demonstrative with my love is hard too, except when the kids were babies, but I do feel such love for them, that I hug them all the time, even though two of my kids are now teens. It becomes a bit more natural each time you do it. I will never be "feely touchy", but my kids are loved, and I believe they know they are too.
2006-07-08 20:27:25 · answer #5 · answered by crazymomma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the one thing you should always raise your kids diffrent and better then u think you were raised, do u remember when your first baby was born and looked in that childs eyes and knew that you loved that baby right away, use that emotion u felt at that very moment then all of the other emotions will fall into place.
2006-07-08 20:36:38 · answer #6 · answered by beth235 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, get counselling.
Remember to give your kids your time and undivided interest for a little while every day. Bedtime works. Tell them you love them no matter what happened during the day. Some days I don't like my kids, but I always always love them, unconditionally.
2006-07-08 23:28:20 · answer #7 · answered by cricket 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then dont worry about it at all who says your kids will deserve any better? These things we know.
2006-07-08 20:26:58 · answer #8 · answered by Ariana Shaw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
owell i have always said that we break what we didn't go through so be honest in this jeneriation i think that being our kids best freind is the only way we will bring them up right
2006-07-08 20:28:24 · answer #9 · answered by JOHNBOY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its called mothers instinct and get some counsiling to help you out
2006-07-08 20:28:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋