I'll try to do do this without sounding like I'm whining. In 2003 my girlfriend and I had a son. He is the most important thing to ever happen to me. eversince I found out I was going to be a father I tried as hard as anybody could to make his life better and everything has FAILED. It seems we are destined to live in a gutter. Ever since my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with some rich boy she has wanted soul custody of my son. Well with the situation being as it is, I finally had to give in and it broke my heart. I have no problem telling you I cried for hours. I need advice please?
2006-07-08 19:45:21 · 11 answers · asked by KG 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
That's really sad... although I don't know how you feel, I know my hubby went through the same thing basically. All you can do is know that you love your son and are doing the best thing for HIM. However, you still have rights. Get your life together and go back to court for shared custody. DON'T give away your rights whatever you do. There is still hope just worry about getting your life back on track and then providing for your son. Good luck:)
2006-07-08 19:51:15 · answer #1 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're definitely not alone. When it comes to custody issues, men are much less likely to gain custody, even if he had been married to the child's mother, and even if he were an extraordinary father. It takes some serious wrong doing on the mother's part for the courts to take custody away from the mother in this kind of situation.
How does one go forward from here? One day at a time. Lots of prayers. God hears us in our deepest, darkest hour of need. He gives us everything we need. Look for the good in your life. Think of how much the world is blessed by having your son around. Children have such light! Such purity. Such resilience.
I will be praying to know that no one can take away that light, that purity, that presciousness. Even if he isn't present in your life, he is still your son. His presciousness is a reflection of you and your efforts. His goodness still effects you in a positive way and the way you live your life will effect him in a positive way, even if you don't see him again for a long time.
Take hold of the memories you have and go forward knowing that you did the best you could have done in those circumstances. You can still be a positive influence in his life by being a good example. If you can't get visitation with your own son, be a Big Brother for a little boy who has no father image in his life. This will help you to be prepared for when your son comes back into your life.
You may feel like you're living in a gutter, but if you are on the internet, asking for advice, I'd guess that you are not doing this in a homeless shelter somewhere. You have an apartment or something. That is better than many other options.
It may be difficult, but count your blessings. I'm not just saying that to get you in a positive mood, but I'm saying that because this is the thing to do if you want to improve your situation. If you have a little cave to live in, be thankful you're not living under a bridge. If we are not grateful for what we DO have, God may think that we might not acknowledge good when it comes our way. If we are grateful for what we do have, it prepares our life for an improved situation. I have used this method many times and it works! As we acknowledge good, good comes into our experience all that much more.
Look for the good. Look for the silver lining. Look for the good in your ex. Look for the good in YOU. Look for the good in every situation that is a part of your everyday life. Look for the good. It will change your life, and it will change it for the better.
2006-07-09 03:24:32 · answer #2 · answered by woodsygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how difficult everything is for you right now, so I won't tell you everything will be alright, but you should know that it will be tough for a while. You feel like you are losing a part of you and it is fine to feel the way you do. The only thing you can do right now is be there for your son, whom still needs his father.
Children should grow up with parents who at the very least get along with one another whether they are married or not. Let your ex-girlfiend get on with her life and you get on with yours for the sake of your son. Learn from past relationships to make new ones richer and more fulfilling.
Sometimes if we can't change our situation, we can still change the way we think about it. Best wishes.
2006-07-09 04:19:46 · answer #3 · answered by Zation 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is obsticles. It sucks sometimes. I wish there was some type of magic advice to give, but there isn't. You'll know when you go to bed if you are doing the best you can in your life, and that is all a person can do. From expierence i would tell you to never give up your son. He will always be something to work for, and be proud of in your life.
2006-07-09 02:51:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept the loss as permanent and is due to bad luck. These days will also past soon as those of happiness. No one can change the destiny but has right to struggle for better life & my advice is that do not give up ; you will find new sense of pride with past experience in searching and maintaining viable relationship for comming future .Every day is a new day for intellegent.
2006-07-09 02:57:53 · answer #5 · answered by deepak57 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you didn't have to give soul custody
get some legal advice about that
don't stress you sound like a decent person so be proud that you have tried.
keep in touch with the child as much as you can and your love and decency will shine through.
if your not working and stuff do courses and stuff like that improve in ever way you can no matter how small amount never lower yourself
we have all cried us who have been here have no shame
2006-07-09 02:54:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, I feel for you.
Did you give her custody because she has a rich bf? Do you think she can do better for him?
Just because you tried and failed doesnt mean you dont desearve your child. You just have to try even harder......never give up. I am not sure about the law but you may be able to still get your custody back. You have the right to be an equal parent. You have just as much right to your child as she does!!!!
You sound like you love him very much..........he deserves your love. Give it to him......dont give up.......
2006-07-09 02:56:22 · answer #7 · answered by ttazevert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you fail her or did she fail you? Can you make something happen that isn't supposed to? Do you want to be with someone who cheats on you?
I know answering a question with a question isn't an answer, just a different perspective. You did your absolute best, and that isn't failing.
2006-07-09 06:37:32 · answer #8 · answered by genuine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you said you "tried as hard as anybody could to make his life better", that means you had your share of taking care of him so you should be allowed to have him.
consult the people around you, because giving in without your say is simply wrong.
2006-07-09 02:52:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to prove yourself to others that you are worth more than anyone else......try to work hard and try to become famous and rich....teach a lesson to your ex-girl friend.....and tell her that you need custody over your son too.....and you love your son a lot.... money does magic when love cannot do sometimes.....
2006-07-09 02:52:23 · answer #10 · answered by archana r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋