please and thankyou
2006-07-08 19:22:54 · 11 answers · asked by hmdc1977 1 in Health ➔ Other - Health
The Divorce
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned, air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home........including the curtain rods.
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU????
2006-07-08 19:28:08 · answer #1 · answered by ilse72 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
okay, so there's this high security 4 story building. on the 1st story, there's a guy who's gonna graduate from college soon. on the 2nd story, there's a couple who r getting married soon. on the 3rd story, there lives a blind man.
on the 4th, story is a middle-aged woman (around 40). so one day, she is taking a nice, long bath after a hard day at work. she's onlybeen in for a minute or 2, and she hears the dorrbell ring. so she puts on a toeal and goes 2 answer the door. it's the guy from the 1st story saying that he just graduated. so the woman goes back 2 her bath. just as she starts relaxing again, she hears the doorbell ring again. she mutters a bit under her breath, puts on a towel, and answers the door. it's the couple, saying that they just got married. the woman gives a few words og congrats and goes back 2 her bath. about 5 min. later, she hears the doorbell ring. she knows it must b the blind man, because no one can get in without all the residents being notified. so she doesn't put on a towel and goes 2 answer the door. the blind man declares "I got my vision back!"..............
2006-07-13 11:43:47 · answer #2 · answered by waffle_viv06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, " my wife was reading a "tale of two cities" and she gave birth to twins"
"That’s funny", the second man remarked, "my wife was reading 'the three musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets"
The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!"
When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, " When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali baba and the forty Thieves"!!!
Funny?If dont i will tell u onother one just late me know!
2006-07-09 02:31:56 · answer #3 · answered by rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So a young boy is talking to a salty old pirate. Who has the hook, pegleg, patch, the whole business.
How did you lose your leg
the boy asked
Arrrr me lost it to a shark when I was pulling up anchor
the pirate replied
How did you lose your hand
queried the boy
Arrrr, I lost it swashbuckling with a rival ship.
Said the pirate
How did you lose your eye
asked the boy
A seagull pooped in my eye
Said the pirate
And that made you lose your eye?
the boy said shocked
Arrrr...NO it was me first day with the hook.!
2006-07-09 02:29:53 · answer #4 · answered by alwaysmoose 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Similarity between wife and mobile phone.
" if i had waited for some more time , i would have got a better model.
A female sits in a dentist chair and lowers her panties
Dentist says " i am not a gyneac "
Patient says " I know , i want you to remove my husbands teeth "
Hope you like them !
2006-07-09 02:29:48 · answer #5 · answered by I'M'ZIZOU 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what's the difference between a coyote and a flea?
one howls on the prarie and the other prowls on the hairy.
2006-07-09 02:28:35 · answer #6 · answered by kyle r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do cowboys make bad lovers?...they think 8 seconds is a good ride
2006-07-09 02:26:18 · answer #7 · answered by deepbushhunter69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did one peanut call the cops on the other peanut?
Because he was a salted. :-)
2006-07-09 02:25:24 · answer #8 · answered by MattEMatt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what did the banana told his boss when he didnt make to work today??
>> he said that he was not peeling well.
2006-07-09 02:26:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw, do u have a lot on your mind?
2006-07-09 02:29:55 · answer #10 · answered by sukyoonbae2004 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋