Recently my 23 y/o gf, that I have been dating for about 3 years co-signed a student loan for me. We are close to engagement yet her mom blew up at her and me. Callin me some choice names along the lines of a drain on my gf. Her mom and myself have always had issues especially since my gf is an only child, any advice on how to make sure this doesn't create a wedge between our relationship (my gf and myself)????
2006-07-08 17:46:51 · 17 answers · asked by dagreat21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She volunteered to co-sign. Many have told the mother that she is over protecting of her daughter. Things as stupid as changed dorm room from year to year set this lady off.
2006-07-08 17:52:37 · update #1
To answer one question, no i have never given any reason to be distrusted or anything like that, its quite the opposite. My gf has cheated on me one time and i stuck it out. As for the question as to why i needed a co-signer, my parents wouldn't do it b/c they want me to "grow up on my own." I have a 2003 car in my name that I had to take a loan out for. Banks don't look fondly on someone who has a "bigger" loan out already and is only a student. My gf did it b/c she felt it was the right thing to do, i was going forward with it with a friend but she stepped in to help. Hope that answers most questions
2006-07-08 17:58:25 · update #2
Almost engaged means I have a ring, she has already told me whenever I am ready she will say yes, but i have been waiting for the right time, like around an anniversary or a special day to us.
2006-07-08 18:00:43 · update #3
your girlfriend needs to tell her mother to stay out of her business, pure and simple , when my husband and i were younger his mother always did that 2 , telling us what to do and getting all in our business , but i got real sick of it and told her I'm married to him and shes not and leave us alone , ok so you do that too
2006-07-08 18:07:53 · answer #1 · answered by jojo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would agree that three years is a long time and is a great commitment and bond between the two of you. However, you have to see this from your gf's mother's point of view...23 is not that old and signing/co-signing ANY line of credit for anything is a very risky step. At the not-so-ripe age of 23 many things seeem like good ideas and it's easy for credit to get ruined. Two young adults neither with any truly "established" credit for any decent length of time signing a student loan would seem to a parent of one or the other as a very irresponsible thing to do. Not saying it is in my opinion, but I know my mother and exactly how she would have reacted if i were in either you OR your gf position.
2006-07-09 00:52:26 · answer #2 · answered by dntbstpd1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a mom of an only child, we tend to be pretty protective of our babies.
Is your girlfriend still dependent on her family?
Does mom-in-law-to-be have any reason to be concerned? Have you flaked on your girlfriend or given her reason to distrust you? If you do default on the loan and your girlfriend has to pay for your irresponsibility, you'll probably lose the best thing that ever happened to you!
Good luck - be sure you don't prove mom-in-law right!
2006-07-09 00:53:24 · answer #3 · answered by Just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Sorry. I know her type.
There's nothing you can do.
She would treat ALL guys, her daughter is dating, like that.
Just smile a lot and pretend it doesn't bother you,
Buying her a birthday present, Xmas present, mother's day cards and the occasional bouquet of flowers MIGHT help.
Try it and see.
If she still acts like Broom Hilda, there is nothing you can do but grin and bear it.
Just make sure you pay off that student loan and as fast as possible.
Otherwise, it will ruin your girlfriend's credit and her mother will probably force her daughter to take you to court and sue you for it.
If the 2 of you break up before you pay it off, that is EXACTLY what will happen.
Good Luck on this one!
2006-07-09 00:53:07 · answer #4 · answered by Molly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doen't matter how bad the relationship between you and her Mom are, don't say anything bad about her Mom infront of her. You marry her and live with her, show her your love and respect her parents. Be as polite as you can around her Mom. If you cannot stand her Mom, excuse yourself, go to the other room or doing some other things. If she loves you enough, she'll stand by your side. Good luck! It'll be hard, but love can move mountain (your love for each other). :)
2006-07-09 00:56:12 · answer #5 · answered by TheOne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the answers so far seem to ignore that she co-signed a student loan for you. Why? Is your credit bad and you couldn't get it on your own? From Mom's viewpoint, if you decided to dump her daughter, her daughter would be stuck with the payments on your loan. If you want to prove yourself to her, pay off the loan, even if you have to get perhaps a parent to co-sign to get her off it. That would prove something to mom I bet.
2006-07-09 00:54:15 · answer #6 · answered by oklatom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discuss the issue with her. Discuss it with her mom. You say you are 'close to engagement'. What does that mean? Are you engaged to be engaged? Sounds sketchy and I can't blame mom for being a little concerned for her daughter. Don't involve you girlfriend in any more financial ventures. When (if) you are married then your lives, financial and otherwise, are intertwined, but untill then stand on your own. Mom will respect you for it. If you need cosigners, try your family.
2006-07-09 00:59:10 · answer #7 · answered by joe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey man you and your girls mom are never going to be tight friends but when u make her a grandmother she will lightin up. Ok the now prob i would just let it pass make sure everything is ok with you and your girl and that she is ok with co signing for you. Let her know you know she did you a favor. Be fathful to her and her mom will come around some time just chill don't fight back
2006-07-09 00:53:09 · answer #8 · answered by albert44 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you try your best to be nice and respectful when she is mean to you! I your girlfriend sees you blow up at her mom then she might have second thoughts thinking you might blow up on her in the future! Make sure you are nice even when you want to do the worst! Her mom is mad because that's her only child and she does not want you to take her away from her(mother)! I know exactly what your going through! And make sure the juice is worth the squeeze!!
2006-07-09 00:52:21 · answer #9 · answered by whateva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
buy the mother something expensive and treat her to dinner and tell her how you feel about her daughter and that you want to make things correct between the 2 of you because if you don't it could ruin all 3 of the relationships. BUT DON'T SLEEP WITH THE MOTHER.
2006-07-09 00:49:43 · answer #10 · answered by A-Town Soulja 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋