as a new single mom i am afraid of having sex again...?

Question

im not afraid of getting pregnant again or anything, but i havent had sex since i was six months pregnant and my boyfriend left me. (my son is five months old) i am worried about my stretch marks and saggy boobs, but i am more worried about whether it will hurt or if i am still the same inside. i know that my cervix is closer to the opening of my vagina and all but will it just get squished back or what? will a guy even be able o fit in? can anyone who has had a baby tell me what i could possibly expect? and how do i approach this subject with a potential partner? please i would prefer answers from women, and people who arent going to be rude. i need help not snide remarks.
thanks
p.s. i put this here because there are no sections for sex questions that i could find.

Answer 1

Was it a natural birth? Did you have an episiotomy? I found it took a while to be comfortable again...I didn't have the issue of a new partner, so I am lucky there. i found it hurt a little when he penetrated, as I had torn when delivering my daughter and there was a fair bit of scar tissue there. It has stretched out again and it is ok, but it did take a while. However, this is my experience...some women don't have that issue. When starting a new relationship, take it slow and try to discuss how you are feeling. i was lucky in that my husband was very gentle and just went with me...if a new partner isn't willing to do that, then keep looking!
Good luck.

Answer 2

Well, where do I start.
Six months is not that long. But it can feel like an eternity sometimes.
If you are worried about your figure, then either you should do something about it or deal with it. There are a number of things you can do. Try to eat healthy and excercise. Hopefully that will be good for both you and teaching your child good habits. Don't take diet pills and such as they are not healthy.
I and many other women have issues with having sex after having a baby. With me, it hurts. Didn't so much after my first, but after my 2nd and 3rd it did. Takes me about a year before I am having sex regularly. But there are many other things you can do. And it gives you a reason to be creative.
If the guy cares for you, then he won't care about that. My stretch marks are pretty bad, and my husband never said a word about them until I mentioned them. Then he told me that he thought I was in a fire and was burned. lol. Isn't that nice?!?! But we had been together for a while before that, and it never changed anything about how he felt about me. And this was while we were just dating. So, if the man is even worth sleeping with, he will be just fine with your questions. And an open relationship is wonderful. I love asking my husband questions about how things feel. And when you get married and are with someone for a while, you start to discuss things you normally would never even mention. They look at all your bumps and you look at theirs. lol. You end up seeing each other on the toilet. And naked so many times you can't count.

Answer 3

The first time my husband and I had sex after our daughter was born, it did hurt, but not much, and only for a short time.

No - the cervix doesn't get pushed back in further. It will always remain lower, but it won't really interfere with things.

As for the stretchmarks and sagging boobs - you are the only one worrying about them. If the guy loves you, he is going to also love the stretchmarks and sagging boobs. That is included in the package deal. If they are bothered by those things, tell them to go out and have a kid and look as good as you look!!

When talking to a partner about it, just tell them what is going on. I mean, they will know you had a kid, so I am sure they will know that things are a little different. Physical appearances shouldn't make a difference to them. More than likely, you are the only one uncomfortable with that stuff. And don't be afraid to tell them how you feel. I told my husband. Being the sweet man that he is, he told me that I was the most beautiful woman on earth to him and none of that mattered.

Answer 4

It wont hurt anymore then it would have if you hadn't gotten pregnant. You will be stretched a bit more, so if anything the fit will be looser. Kegal ( I think I'm pronouncing and spelling that wrong?) exercises can help you get everything back to almost pre-pregnancy shape. (That is when you squeeze the muscles that you normally squeeze, when you are trying to hold it until you can make it to the nearest washroom.) The first time after having a baby is almost like having sex for the first time at all, if it is going to be with a partner that you weren't intimate with through your pregnancy, so take it slow and choose the type of guy you wish you would have chosen for your first ever. Happy Mommy-hood!

Answer 5

Take time and do things for yourself and your new bundle of joy. The right partner will come along and the sex will be fantastic once again. I have two children and am currently 6 months pregnant with our third. Yes your body does undergo some physical changes ( I will never fit into a 00 from Abercrombie again but my kids are worth it). You need to accept your body and get it to a point that you are happy with. Once you are happy with your body others will be too. Take up kickboxing or yoga, pilates works great for after pregnancy toning and flexibility.

Answer 6

Right now you need to be more concerned about your baby instead of having more sex with someone. That child is your responsibility until he is 18. I am not being rude to you. I am a 58 year old grandmother of 2. My step daughter also was a single mom 11 years ago and still is today. She has a great job making boo koos of money. She has had boy friends and steadies but never found one to marry. Why marry she is making more money than most men she meets and doesn't need to tie herself down. We helped her with the baby and are still involved with our granddaughter today, she is a beautiful child. Mom had the "party" fever when the child was an infant but now has a better hold on motherhood. Try to forget the men for awhile and give some of that love to your baby, he will need it more than those "one time losers".

Answer 7

oh for heavens sake girl, how do you think any woman ever had more than one kid, you are fine, why ask a man, they dont know, there are various topicals for streatch marks, though i dont know how well they work, vit e oil is one thats cheap anyway, and mederma witch isnt so cheap. boobs, well im 58 and where do you think mine are, and i have a wonderful lover who knows women change as they mature and no one is perfect. even the playboy models dont look as good as the photos, since they do a ton of work to the pics. you arent perfect, but you are you, im sure you can find men who are interested. and yes a man will fit, to find that out,,,,,,,,,, why didnt you ask your doctor, sheesh, try a dildo, that will give you a clue or two, though men are not as hard as most dildos. just get out there and live.

Answer 8

Sweetheart, lets look at what you wrote here, ok? You said your "boyfriend left me" when your son was just five months old, yikes, first red light. Why are you having babies with men that aren't committed to you (husband)? I am saying this because I want you to think very carefully now about your future because it includes a child.

That child deserves a great mom, one who respects herself and isn't a trash can for every male sperm that comes along. Make a good life for yourself and your baby. Forget having sex with anyone until you find the man who will be your husband.

I am serious here, I want to save you more heartache and you need to remember you are a role model for your son. Do you want him to think women are to just sleep with and walk out on? Have morals and values to show your son how to be a good man, not like the idiot who walked out when he was 5 months.

Answer 9

u'll be just fine. shouldn't hurt. your vagina is back to the way it was. ive had 4. no ur cervix wont get squished...saggy boobs and stretch marks are the price ya sometimes have to pay to bring those little munchkins in the world. i figure it was well worth it. honestly sex is better than ever!!!

Answer 10

It wont feel any diffrent hun, i have a 16 month old son and sex felt exactly the same after he was born , and as for the dude that gave the second answer, i'd really like to know how you gave birth!