My mother was an alcoholic and my father was an adulterer. They've recently run out of money and are looking to the children to bail them out . My childhood was horrendous and the emotional scars run deep. should I help out my parents or let them fend for themselves?
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2006-07-08 16:20:54 · 16 answers · asked by nicowna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
"Helping" them would actually be enabling them to continue the destructive path they have been on. I know its hard, i KNOW, but the best thing you can do for them is to let them deal with the natural concenquences of their actions. Otherwise, why would they change?
Al-anon is a wonderful group that i highly suggest. It helped me deal with my emotional baggage from a horrendous childhood.
2006-07-08 23:40:30 · answer #1 · answered by genuine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if it makes you feel better you should help them, but not monetarily. Perhaps you can help them obtain assistance through the bank, or one of those places that give people money even if they have bad credit, or even through welfare. It might not be a good idea to give them money because then they might just use it up and ask for more. It's better to support them by other means. And, if they don't accept your help that way, then you can walk away knowing you tried.
2006-07-08 16:28:31 · answer #2 · answered by paranoid_much 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they're still together the adultery part is irrelevant. And if your mother WAS an alcoholic and is not drinking now, then that is irrelevant as well. What you have to decide is how you will feel 10 years after they're dead if you completely give them the brush-off now. It's up to your conscience only.
2006-07-08 16:23:40 · answer #3 · answered by wmp55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, if they were as bad as you say then i'd let them fend for themselves. However, some would argue that abandoning them makes you as bad as them. It all depends if you can justify it in your own mind.
2006-07-08 16:24:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they did support you while you were growing up then I think that you should help them if you can. If our childhood was very bad and they did the very minimum for you, then I would let them figure it out for themselves.
2006-07-08 16:23:23 · answer #5 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive them for what they have did ,if they show true love for you and i would help them.i wish i had my parents and miss them so much to matter what they did in life .no ones perfect in this world and you can never replace parents .maybe some day they will work out things in their life and become the best parents in the world to you ,never take them for grantie.
2006-07-08 17:54:10 · answer #6 · answered by quietlove000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a tough one. let them fend for themselves for a little while. if things get waaay to tuff for them, then help them out a little. after you help them out (and even iff u dont) u should go to counseling or talk to them about how you feel.
2006-07-08 16:24:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can decide, how do you get along with them now? You know they won't always be here. It just depends on what you want to do. If you don't want to help them, I wouldn't feel bad about it.
2006-07-08 16:23:46 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
id let them fend for themselfs. if they werent there for you as a child then what makes you think they will be there for you now??
or you can just do what you feel is right.
2006-07-08 16:23:13 · answer #9 · answered by ziggunerin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are agencies available for your folks. Contact Adult Protective Services and let whatever happens to them happen. After all, they weren't there to care for your now were they?
2006-07-08 16:23:14 · answer #10 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋