My sister is a 47 year old drug addict that frequently abuses perscription pain medication. She lives at my mother's house with her daughter. She has not had any job for over 2 years. Before that she only had a part-time job and has NEVER paid rent in this time. She has resided at my mother's house with her daughter for about 9 years under these conditions. My sister threatens to never let my mother see her grandaughter again if she is forced to leave. She also threatens to kill herself and her daughter. I have called the police on her a number of times. She somehow manages to never go to jail, and never get out, and never get a job. She is driving my poor mother into poverty. What can I do?
2006-07-08 16:04:58 · 7 answers · asked by joecuviello 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Call children and family services and tell them that she threatened to kill her daughter and that she abuses pain medication. Tell them that she is suicidal herself. Tell them that you and your mother are willing to care for the child so she does not have to go to a foster home.
2006-07-08 16:33:56 · answer #1 · answered by kadel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move your mom in with you for a while. Offer to watch her daughter for her one day and then change the locks on the house that your sister lives at with your mom. Tell her she will get her kid back when she gets a job and starts contributing to raising her daughter, otherwise, you and your mom will start proceedings to take the little girl away from her. Let her know it is against the law for her to threaten her own daughters life.You have to call her bluff. She can throw a fit all she wants to, but in the end she will have to come around. She can't legally stand outside your home and scream and yell, it's called drunk and disorderly and disturbing the peace, not to mention tresspassing, and endangering the life of a minor is a jailable offense. Get a restraining order based on her drug addiction and tell them that your neice needs to be placed with you becasue of the threat against hermade by her mother. The burden of proof is on her to prove she is NOT using drugs or abusing her child. Let her know she has to go to a treatment facility. Tell her there is no other option. If she doesn't comply, then SHE will be the one who doesn't see her daughter anymore. Get help or go away. You need to get tough. The law is on your side, not hers. If you don't get a back bone, then your just an enabler. Contributing to the abuse and endangering of this child and eventually none of you will see her. Acting now is in the best interest of the child and you stepping up to protect her will ensure that you and your mother will be able to continue providing a stable family for her to grow up in.
2006-07-08 23:20:14 · answer #2 · answered by jenna37us 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, find a halfway house, shelter or living facility that offers group therapy & life(WORK) study courses! Whether she is there or not..., start packing up her stuff haphazerdly, but not as to break anything, When she starts objecting,& as she will, Tell her you have found a transitional living situation & that she should pack her stuff to her own liking. Cook a nice Meal, both of you should tell her you love her..., But now she needs to start loving herself. And for her to be able to do that, She needs to know that she is a better person than she's been treating herself & other's. Your Mother can apply for grandparent's right's, If she threatens to withhold contact with her granddaughter.
Provide her with the emonional need's she must have,& Praise " EVERYTHING" that she does that is positive, And when she has occational backslides don't just ignore them, 'cuz by that time she should have some idea's where her problem stems from...,TALK WITH HER!
And encourage her to get back in there and fight for a better life if not for her, Than for her daughter.
Good Luck & Blessed Be
2006-07-08 23:49:23 · answer #3 · answered by fingerlickingdixiechicken 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wouldnt it be nice if we could force people to get better?
Your mother has good intentions, but she is actually enabling her to piss her life away on drugs. She won't get better unless theres a reason to. Why would she when she lives rent free and has someone there to make everything better?
I seriously doubt the courts would allow her to take her kid, mostly on financial terms and the fact that she is an unfit mother. I'm sure your mom is afraid to do anything, but for the kids sake, don't let it continue to happen. You can't force her not to be a drug addict, but you can stop cushioning her life.
Sounds like both of you could benefit from Al-Anon. It's a wonderful support group for friends and families of alcoholics/drug addicts. It saved me.
2006-07-09 06:51:26 · answer #4 · answered by genuine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a nightmare. Call CPS without delay. It's hard for a mom to turn her daughter out, no matter what. Sorry to say this, but screw your sister, save her daughter. Your sister is an adult and can choose her own path. Her daughter can't. Her mother is not responsible, so she depends on you. Don't let her down.
2006-07-08 23:15:29 · answer #5 · answered by olelady55 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact adult protective services and advise them of your mother's situation and the affects it is having on her.
2006-07-08 23:11:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother should MOVE IN with you. Then SELL your mother's house.
DONE!
2006-07-08 23:08:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋