Forcing religion on your children?

Question

Is it right, or even legal in the U.S., to force your 16 year old son to go to church when its very clear he doesn't want to.
Being in that position, I say no. The constitution gurantees me the freedom to practice (or not) any religion I choose. How then can I get out of being forced to participate in a religion I clearly don't believe in?

Answer 1

No, it's wrong for parents to tell their children what to believe (brainwashing). I personally believe that telling children what they believe is child abuse. Church is different though, it's unfortunately not illegal for your parents to make you go to church. They can force you to go but they can't force you to believe. Your beliefs are yours and yours alone.

Good luck, at least you'll be 18 before you know it.

Answer 2

Is it "right?" Well, if your parents consider their church to be to be a local gathering of Christians rather than a social club, and you are not a Christian, then it's probably not right to force you since it would be disrespectful to both their congregation and to God. Of course, if you can't be left elsewhere without causing mischief, then they may have to bring you to keep your behavior in check. That's not to say that a non-Christian should not be welcomed at church, but that the church isn't built by coercion.

Is it "legal?" Probably yes, as long as they have legal responsibility for you.

From the rest of your comments, it would seem that forcing you to go to a good school would be a better idea. Where did you get the idea that the constitution "gurantees" (sic) you the freedom to practice (or not) any religion you choose? What it does, in the first amendment to the "Bill of Rights," is to prevent CONGRESS from establishing or prohibiting religion ("Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..."). It tells CONGRESS what it cannot do, but does not tell your parents what they cannot do with respect to their free exercise of religion. (As such, it also seems to say nothing to prevent individual states from regulating religion within their borders.) Thus, if Congress would pass a law prohibiting parents from taking their minor children to church, THAT would be a violation of the constitution.

How can you "get out of being forced to participate?" There are various ways that might work. (1) Respectfully ask permission to not participate. Be ready to give your reasons why (not just excuses like "I don't feel like going"), and to demonstrate that you will behave responsibly. (2) Go to a pastor at the church and ask for guidance and assistance in the matter and in communicating with your parents. (3) Apply to an appropriate court to be emancipated from your parents (but be ready to prove you are competent to take on all the responsibilities of adulthood, unless you can find an alternate guardian). (4) Wait until you are 18. (5) I don't recommend more drastic measures, but just note that there are other ways to "get out."

Answer 3

Sorry, I missed the children's crusade for equal rights. I think I may have been made to go to bed early.

Fact is, those rights don't really cover you, as long as your parents are legally responsible for you.

Are you ready to sue them for custody? You can! You can sue for your independence if you can show they are abusing you or otherwise don't have your best interests at heart.

They can bring you to church, but who you worship is chosen by you, if you worship anything. When you are 18, or have chosen independence early (I DON'T SUGGEST THIS), you may decide.

Oh, if you go without complaint, calmly, and respectfully, trying to participate save where your must lie, which you can explain to your parents you cannot do, then when you get to 18 they will respect your opinion FAR more, and you can always say,

"I got some good advice to treat the religion of my parents with respect and to follow their advice while I was still a minor. Now that I am no longer a minor, can you not respect my choices for myself, even if you disagree?"

They are acting legally. You are acting disrespectfully and claiming adult rights where you haven't earned them.

Answer 4

In two years' time the child would be 18. The parent would really get an eye opening for forcing a child to do anything against their will-- as the child is going to set them straight and be independant. Who would be sorry then?
Parents need to raise their children in harmony with each person's needs considered. If the child says no to church, then they need to communicate with one another and find out why they feel differently than they once had.
If the child is reasonable, they should be given some breathing room.

Answer 5

Your parents probably are just trying to teach you morals by making you go to church. When I was younger I hated going to church. My parents made us go but they never went so we would take the offering in and then sit outside and smoke till it was over. And I believe in God. Then I stopped going until I had children. Now I think about what they could get into when they are older and it really scares me. And I feel that being involved in church and youth groups could keep them heading in the right path, away from drugs and violence. If you don't believe in God then what does it matter if you live a respectful life? You're obviously not worried about eternal damnation. Your parents are probably thinking something along the same lines.

And your parents do believe in their religion so they are going to defend it to no end. Fighting with them will only make it worse. Try having a "grown up" conversation with them and list the reasons you do not want to go and be sure to tell them you respect their beliefs, but you have your own. Maybe they will see that you are serious and not just trying to get out of having to go to church.

Answer 6

You are a minor child and you don't have the same rights and freedoms that an adult over the age of 18 has. If your parents tell you to go to Church, go to Church. You will be 18 in a couple of years and then you can exercise your rights under the law.

Answer 7

At baptism, parents make a vow before God and the congregation to provide their children with proper religious training. If that hasn't taken hold by age 16, it's pointless to use coercion. As far as legality, I find it hard to keep up with just what the current fads are. I remember a time when a child (and 16 WAS still a child!) had the right to food, shelter, education, and no closed-fist beatings, and that was about all. Everything else they got was the result of their parents' love for them.

Answer 8

A sixteen-year-old is still legally a child, and is under the direction of his parents. They have the responsibility to at least try to give him a moral foundation.

The story is told of a farmer who wondered about bringing his son to church. He told the preacher that he was just going to wait until his son was old enough to decide for himself. The preacher pointed to a field and said, "I was wondering whether or not to plant wheat there. I think I'll just let the field decide for itself." The farmer said that he needed to act quickly, or else weeds will grow up and nothing else would be able to grow. He saw the parallel, and brought his son to services the following Sunday.

Instead of fighting going to church, why not listen to what is being said for a change? I don't know where you are going or what is being taught; there's a good chance I'd disagree with it. If you listen to it and read the Bible, you'll either see that they are teaching what is right or be able to prove where they are wrong.

Answer 9

I think that anyone under 18 can be forced to submit to what the parents wish. However my parents would have had to physically drag me to church and hold me there. Which may be illegal lol. not sure. Your parents could send you to a private or catholic school if they wanted to I think, so I think church would be no different.

However I would just explain to them, that being forced to attend will only make you want to do it less and cause you to rebel. Because that's generally what does happen when you force a kid (especially a teen) to do something they don;t want.

Answer 10

I don't think it's right, but it is certainly legal. Keep in mind that the constitution only protects you as a legal ward of an adult, not as a full citizen. Until you are 18, you do not have the same rights as an adult.
Don't despair though, when you are older you can even the score by exposing your children to religious buffoonery.

Answer 11

You mean your parents make you do something you don't want to do?!? Those ogres!! How dare they! The truth is, as long as you are eating their food, living under their roof, using their electricity and heat, you pretty much have to obey them unless they compel you to do something illegal or immoral. I realize at 16, you probably think you have everything all figured out, I know, I have a 16 year old. But believe or not, you don't. So go along with it and don't whine about it. And when you are on your own and supporting yourself, then you can do as you wish, more or less.