Personal Space?

Question

Does anyone find it irritating when you are out in public and someone stands in line or sits right next to you... I mean within a foot...

Example:

I was at a carnival tonight, and a child around 8 or so sits almost on top of me. I had my nine month old daughter in front of me in her stroller and my dad was next to me ... This kid just runs and sits so close to me. I get alarmed because of germs with my daughter. Plus there were other seats available.

Does "closeness" bother anyone else?

My daughter will not go to preschool. when she is 4, I may send her a few hours a day for socialization.

I think parents should TEACH their childrent to respect someones space. Its called parenting.

I was just using this as ONE EXAMPLE. I personally hate it when I am at a checkout lane without my daughter and someone is behind me breathing down my neck. I also usually give a look, then they will usually back up.
No one talks about these issues because everyone wants to be polotically correct.

Okay, it happened to me last night at the grocery store!! I had my daughter with me, so I just started to back up and gave a stare. She did back away...

Maybe I overreacted with the child at the carnival. But I will no longer tolerate it in most adults...Soimetimes you have to understand if someone has a learning or developmental disability...

Answer 1

Personal space is important to most people and it's polite not to get too close to people physically in a social context. An eight-year-old, however, is probably not aware of this. I'm sure they didn't mean to be rude... kids just aren't really clued in to how other people feel.

Answer 2

It's not a bad idea to say something like," Hey sweetie, can you scooch over a little?"...or something to that effect...I am a person who believes it takes a village to raise a child...what people don't really talk about is why they have such a problem with someone correcting their child's behavior...I do understand about personal space...I also understand just by your words that you have a problem with other people around your child...we live in a world that includes other people...your child as well as all the other children of the world will need to coexist...

this is what I understand about personal space...we as a culture don't want to let others close enough to hurt us...in consequence we have learned how to make sure we are not approached in certain situations...the look thrown over the shoulder telling the other person to back off is a common way we show just how much out space means to us...we have to learn that some people did not learn the arms length away rule...if a person is in your space, take a sway closer to them...either they will move away or they may apologize or it may start up a conversation...we have to learn how to live together...personal space seems a great way to start...

Answer 3

Yes, I value my personal space as well, but I have a different approach to defending my space. When I feel that someone is invading my space or getting into my "comfort zone" I refuse to give up my space. I was there first. When someone gets real close I feel like they are trying to take the spot I am in and I refuse to give it up. So, if anything I may get closer to them to make them back off.

I had an incident at an airport where I sat down and there was a seat next to me. I put my coat and a bag in the seat. Some guy came and sat a couple of seats away. No big deal. Then his boyfriend came and stood in front of me, looked at me, then looked at the seat with my stuff in it. Like a fool, I moved my stuff. I should have stuck to my guns and just ignored the guy. So, he sits down and they start eating McDonalds. I decided it was time for me to cough a lot and blow my nose a lot. I felt that they were obnoxious and chewing loudly, so I whipped into "sick" mode. And you know what? They got up and moved!!! You just gotta hold your ground. I was wrong for giving up my seat in the first place, as there were other places they could have sat.

So, the moral of the story is ... hold your ground and don't take any guff from anybody!

Answer 4

OK, this is gonna sound really weird- but you WANT your kid to play in the dirt, and get some germs. I know this sounds gross- but what it does it forces the childs immune system to work to fight dieases.

This was figured out a few months ago that keeping a child TOO clean would harm the immune system- as a result since the lungs are the #1 entrance for dieases, this has caused asthema in children.

When I was a child- back in 1965- I was born with underdeveloped lungs from a biological mother who smoked 5 packs a day. I had lung problems from the time I was born- fortunately, this chemical attack forced my lungs to develop more than "normal" people.

Go figure- Darwinism in reverse

Answer 5

Growing up in the USA taught me to respect boundaries and personal space. Parents taught their children to be aware of the rights of other people, but there has been a cultural change in the last two decades. Children who are not taught proper etiquette, from birth, suffer the consequences as adults.
The situation you described was disturbing because, in a public setting, a young child was unsupervised. The child was unprotected. By 'invading your space', your family was put at risk, too.
The proper way to handle the situation would be to talk to the child as if they were an adult, because they were in an adult situation. Calmly tell the child that they are not using good manners and they need to sit in their own seat. Suggest one of the empty seats for them. Be kind. The child was unprotected by his/her parents, and you don't want to frighten the child. The child, obviously, was unafraid of strangers. His/her family could have different social values than yours, so show tolerance.
In public areas there are few ways to totally protect your family. You might need to buy premium seating.
As for germs, always have a mini-bottle of waterless hand sanitizer so that you can avoid viruses/bacteria. Let last night's incident serve as a reminder that your job as a parent includes building social skills. Good Luck !

Answer 6

I know exactly what you mean. I get really annoyed when I am anywhere that there is a lot of room and people sit right next to you. I need my personal space!!! You especially need space right now with your daughter being so young. If you think your feelings are wrong, don't worry, in my book they are perfectly acceptable. And I agree with you about the 4 year old Pre-k thing too. Nice to know there are others out there.

Answer 7

Yes, closeness as you described can be very annoying or even unnerving at times. However, you do have to figure this is only a child who sat next to you, and being that he/she was only about 8, they might not have realized how close they were, or even that it would bother someone. I know personally, I try to teach my child about "personal space" because I notice my child standing too close to someone in line, for instance, at a store, and not only do I know want her standing so close to someone, I don't want someone that close to her either (who is a stranger). So I can see where you're coming from. Usually if she gets too close to someone I just say "personal space!" and she moves away and smiles at me... Most adults dont do it (get in your space) but there are some who do - and that, is very, very annoying - because an adult should know better.

Answer 8

Closeness to a degree bothers me. eg. if a stranger gets practically within kissing distance to ask a question, I think that's really too close. But you sound it a little scary here. Another child getting close with your daughter nearby? Come on. Germs are everywhere, you'd have to stay inside to try not to come in contact with other people's germs & even that won't protect you. Your child is safe & that other kid is just being a kid. Oblivious to the discomfort you're experiencing.

Answer 9

This is one thing that people do that make me want to fight them. I used to work with a lady who would come up from behind me and breathe down my neck and just wait there until I was finished with what I was doing and could address her, also when people get to close to me at the supermarket, or when guys try to pick me up at bars and come inches away from me. I think this is totally disrespectful and rude. It bothers me so much I've even discussed it in one of my therapy sessions, I just cannot stand strangers coming anywhere near me. Some people don't have a sense of personal space, so they don't mind violating someone elses space. It also varies within cultures, In China people basically are smothered into eachother always so they don't think twice to violate someone's space because it is socially acceptable in their culture. Some people are just rude asses and don't care..Whoo I feel better now. :o)

Answer 10

Not if it was an 8 year old child no. In fact, I would look around to make sure no one was "after him" and that he was okay. Then I would ask where his parents where and if he was lost. I don't know, I guess I'm just not as bothered by other people. Especially children.

If it were like a long bus ride, lol, that could be another story....

Answer 11

I wouldn't expect an 8 year old to be up on etiquette norms... I'd just tell the kid to get the hell away from me. It's a kid, after all, and it is incumbent upon the learned to point out when children have overstepped their bounds.

As far as closeness in general, it does not bother me, but I don't often get into those situations.

Cheers!