My boyfriend and I are wanting to start having children. He's 23 and I'm 20 going on 21 in October. He's working and going to college, and I'm going to be working and probably going into night school (colege) when I can. We are talking about having a baby when we both have stable jobs. We're both excited and can't wait to have a baby, but haven't started trying. Are we doing the right thing by waiting, or are we being selfish?
2006-07-08 15:18:07 · 15 answers · asked by Mango Monkee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
simple answer-do not have children. you are not ready
2006-07-08 15:23:05 · answer #1 · answered by Comfortably Numb™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to wait quite a while. A child deserves to be cared for and you don't have any money or a good job. You are way too young and aren't even married, are you? A baby sounds romantic, but if you love each other (and a child deserves parents that love each other) you need to spend some time together - just the two of you. I think your hormones are out of control. At 20, you may have 3 or 4 new boyfriends in the next few years. You need to wait until you have some stability in your life. Babies are very expensive!
2006-07-08 15:51:44 · answer #2 · answered by limeyheart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to have a baby?
If your answer contains the words" I want..." then you need to wait. Having a baby is not about what you want.
Despite your statement of having stable jobs, you are still young and in school and have aspirations. By definitions, your LIVES are not stable right now. Take care of your education first, and your boyfriend should do the same, while you're both young and unfettered with the burdens of domesticity and social pressures. Children change everything, and you have to be ready to prioritize your baby over everything else in your life. With better educations and better jobs, you will be in that much better of a position to provide a comfortable life for your children.
Good luck.
2006-07-08 15:28:47 · answer #3 · answered by agentdenim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety, I am 22 going onto 23 in a few days and my husband is 23, we just had our first baby girl. It's a beautiful thing and experience, yet alot of responsibilty as well. Luckily, we can afford for me to not work for the time being, because a little baby needs all the love and attention possible. So unless you are ready to dedicate all your time and love to this new little bundle of joy, then go for it! It is an amazing experience, it's never too early nor too late. Personally, we think we had our baby at a great age, not too young, yet not too old...just make sure you are ready to put a few things aside, like going out, school, friends, it takes alot of dedication. Good Luck, I wish you too well.
2006-07-08 15:29:01 · answer #4 · answered by ShellBellzGee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you both have steady jobs and are able to spend time with the baby and financially support it. You both are young enough to wait a few years.
2006-07-08 15:23:08 · answer #5 · answered by older woman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a ton of time ahead of you. WAIT TO HAVE CHILDREN. WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! I am 33 with a college degree, a husband of 5 years and 2 boys under the age of 3. It is hard as ****- Physically. Emotionally, mentally....etc. Your life changes SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO drastically when you have a baby. WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!
2006-07-08 15:32:46 · answer #6 · answered by Sarah S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's too early. You both need to finish studies and get stable jobs before having any kids. It's better for them, because at this stage you won't have time and patience with them.
2006-07-08 15:25:29 · answer #7 · answered by Milu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think once you feel like you are ready to take care of a kid, then have at it. School is important, and having kids complicates things. I live with a single mother who has 2 kids, and it makes finishing school very difficult for her.
Good luck.
2006-07-08 15:24:32 · answer #8 · answered by professional student 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait till after your 28.
And it might be nice if you get married first, I know its old fashion.
Ya be selfish... NO its NOT selfish its SMART.
Also you need to decide who is going to take care of the kid while someone earns a pay check....An education might be nice to get a decent job.
Please dont send you rkid off to day care for someone else to raise.
2006-07-08 15:24:31 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think u guys should really wait until u get married and u guys know that your right for each other! Wish u guys luck with your kids!
2006-07-08 15:28:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shouldn't the two of you perhaps consider marriage first?
Do you think a baby is less stressful than a marriage? Get real.
As the saying goes...."Get a life before you make a life."
You are too young emotionally. Don't do it.
2006-07-08 15:25:01 · answer #11 · answered by lilly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋