I have some mother/daughter issues with my mom and I?

Question

I havent spoke to my mom for about 9 months due to some probs with her husband and my husband, and i refuse to talk to her until she "grows up" it is quite a long story why the 2 husbands are not agreeing. but it has seperated me and my mom. well, there recently was a death in the family and she told my sister that she felt she should start talking to me again. what i feel is that it is a shame it has to take a death for her to realize that we need to start talking again. however, i turned it down cause i still have hurt inside of me and now is not the time to start talking to her again. I want to have a relationship with her but she still has hate towards my husband and i dont like that, should i start talking to her again? what should i do?

My moms husband is accusing him of calling child protection services on the kids, which the day that he was accused of calling he was with me all day. and to this day they still accuse him. a week before this happened we took the girls to the circus. my man loves them girls he would never be that cruel. and on top of that i married a man 18 years older than me and my mom refused to come to the wedding. he is the most loving guy i have ever had, i dont see how she cant stand him...he treats me like a queen

Answer 1

I'll give you the best advice I ever got(concerning my mom)... Just because you think someone should treat/love you a certain way doesn't mean they are able to. Don't let her ruin your relationships in life. Sometimes you just have to stop it and not give it a chance to get any worse. Good luck. (Iam going through the same thing)

Answer 2

At least she is will to try it seems to me that you are trying to keep this feud going. This is your mom the only one you will ever have. So what she hates your husband she doesn't hate you. Don't let a man come in between your family and she should do the same for you. It also sound like you are the one that needs to grow up and let this go and rebuild your relationship. This woman gave birth to you loved you and held you when you were hurt, and you have turned your back on her. i don't know the whole story but I can tell you this that once your mom is gone you will regret y'all not talking for so long. Just think about you having a daughter and how this would hurt you if she turned on you after all the love and guidance she has given you. She has loved you through the good times and the bad so why can't you so the same for your mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

I can understand how u feel, but it may be best to start talking again, because the death in Ur family says that life is too short.

U still talk with both women but that doesn't mean u have to hang out with each other. Don't allow things to come between u and Ur mom( she's the reason Ur here) and a mama can have a thousand daughters but a thousand daughter can have one mama.

The thing with ur sister, if your sister has issues with u , then u should be the bigger person and talk eith her( even if u know it will bug ur sister ) that shows ur sister that ur a better person if she still doesn't want to talk to u then it's on her.

I hope u all work it out b 4 another death have to bring u together

Answer 4

I got so ticked off when I read this. She is your mom and you should have more respect for her than that. You said that she needs to grow up, you need to grow up. And you said it took a death in the family for her to wake up, when are you going to wake up, when it is too late. What would you do if tonight she passed away and you haven't started talking to her yet. And tomorrow you got up and got the call that she passed away in her sleep. How would you feel then? You need to get on that phone and call her and tell her that you want to see her and patch things up with her and tell her you love her. She is the only mother that you are ever going to have and you have no ideal how long you are going to have her around.While you are talking to her tell her what really happened that day like you did us. As far as your husbands age, that don't matter as long as he is good to you.

Answer 5

Yes you should start talking with her again because you only get one mother and one day it may be too late to actually talk to her. You have to learn how to forgive and forget because if you continue to hold this grudge against your mother and not try to reconcile it is hurting both of you in the end. Your mother carried you for nine months of your life and took care of you through your infant and toddlers years you do owe her some type of respect now. If not one day you may not get a chance to and then you will regret it.

Answer 6

I just want to let you know that this woman is the ONLY Mom you will ever get. Are you gonna wait until she is dead to realize that life is too short and you no longer have a MOM?....

If your Husband and Dad (mothers husband) can`t agree that is between them. You should let the two MEN work it out. Surely your husband can take care of his own battles.. He did win you...

You and your Mom BOTH need to grow up.. Don`t you know that men are little boys in a man suit?? . (No offense guys , We love ya) You can`t fight their battles. You folks are a family. Families do squabble, But you got to talk and work things out..

So, I have to ask you, When they are throwing that dirt on top of her casket, Did it matter who apologized????

Please reconsider and meet and work this out.. Family is suppose to take care of family, No matter what....

God bless & Hugs from Texas. {:-)
<><

Answer 7

Talk through the problem. It's between husbands not mother and daughter. She's not going to be around forever. Maybe you both reconciling will get the ball rolling and the other problems will be worked out. But the first step has to be taken...

Answer 8

Talk with your Mom, whatever the issue is it can't be strong enough to overtake a mother daughter relationship. My mom was and is not the best mother in the world, but I talk to her and treat her with respect. I keep in mind that she carried me for nine months and made sure I survived childhood. Remember that not all mothers have the skills to be proper mothers. Love her for who she is. She loves you too! Don't wait until she's dead to regret that you never made up. I said some horrible things to my dad and he died suddenly and I never got to apologize to him. Be the better person and call her.

Answer 9

you and your mother should talk agian and get over fighting. get rid of all that hate so the whole family can get together and have diners and do stuff together. make a pac to put the old diffrence behind you and start new and fresh. a mother and a daugter should never be mad at each other for more than a day. just get over it a remember that your all family and a family loves each other. Good luck and God Bless from my family to yours!

Answer 10

She's your mom. Swallow your pride and let her be your mom. Hate and anger take far more energy than kindness.

If she continues to be hateful, it's on her shoulders. But you don't want to be the one left feeling like you could have done more.

If she hates your husband, you should probably ask yourself why? Is he character flawed...abusive, loud mouthed, a poor provider, disrespectful or something to that effect?

Most moms just want their daughters to be happy and marry someone nice. They do tend to rear up and show fangs if their daughter ends up with a good 'ol boy dead beat.

So ask yourself, is the fighting worth it? Is your mom right on some level and how far are you willing to take this?