HELP! My 2 year old won't quit smacking herself in the head!?

Question

My 2 year old smacks herself in the head every time i tell her no. i have smacked her butt and her fingers, but never her head. she also beats her head off of everything when she is mad. how do i get her to stop before she hurts herself?

Answer 1

Ignore it. She won't hurt herself. All kids go through that phase. Just let it pass. K, here's the thing, she's doing it for attention. She knows that if she hits her head, mommy and daddy will feel bad for her and she'll get her way. Ignoring it lets her know that you're not going reward her for negative behavior. She won't hurt herself.

Answer 2

My almost 3 year old has done the same thing. I ignored the face slapping and the head banging, well, she banged her head on our stone kitchen floor in a fit of temper once and she has all but stopped banging her head on anything since then.

We really have to ignore these little temper tantrums or they take over our lives. They need to learn that is it not an acceptable way to handle disappointment.

Mine now throws herself down on the ground, but she carefully lowers her head to the ground and is very consious of what surface she is coming down on these days. I tell her "No Temper". I walk away and tell her when she can calmly talk about it to come and find me - and she does, all smiles "Hi Mommy". By now she is pretty good with me and gets up when i say - but she still acts out for her daddy, cause he is not as consistent.

Peace and Strength my friend!

Answer 3

I'm on my 3rd child doing this and it usually happens in between 2 and 3 years of age. The way I got them to stop within a week is when they do the action, I get a teddy bear, doll, toy dog, or anything that he/she can cradle and nurture. I told my boy to play nice in a soothing tone repeatedly, took his hand and rubbed it on the toys head gently, and they will say no and try to bang at times, and thats when you say oww, boo boo (or what ever word you use to describe pain or ouchies) and continue with the play niceeeee, playy niceee in a soothing tone and they love it, only downfall is for a few weeks after when I would say no or they would throw a fit they would sit there rubbing their head saying play niceee lol. Imagine the looks from strangers at the store, i say no and my childs rubbing his head telling me to play nice lol. It worked none the less though. Good luck!

Answer 4

My son is 19 mo old. He's been doing the same thing since he was about 11 mo old. I discussed it with his pediatrician, and he said that it's a phase but if you ignore it, he'll stop. He hasn't yet but I think it's just frustration, he has no way of communicating since he can't talk very well. His grandmother said that eventually,he will be stronger, hit harder and when he hurts himself, he'll stop :). Comforting huh?? So. it's nice to know my son isn't the only little animal doing it :) Good Luck!!

Answer 5

OK, don't let her do that! At this age, she has spaces in her head, between her brain and her skull. If she bangs too hard, she can get contusions on her brain. They also get these when they have shaken baby syndrome!

When she starts to do that stop her. Calm her down, tell her that we don't do that. And try to get her to tell you, in some way, what it is that she wants. Since you say that she only does this when you tell her no, learn to not give in. Be consistant with what you tell her, then put her in a safe spot. Put her in a high-chair if you have to, until she learns how to calm herself down. It will work, just be patient.

Answer 6

I am not sure ignoring the child is the correct way to handle such a situation. When my son was 2 he would bang is head on the floor. only happened twice, the third time, I gently placed my hand on the back of his head,never applied pressure, just laid it there just has he banged his head. That ended that problem, he thought I caused him to hit his head and he never did it again.

Answer 7

One question is... has she seen someone else hit themselves in the head?

I used to babysit a little boy and when he got angry he would hit himself in the head. His mom thought I was doing it to him or he was seeing it at my house. My little boy was the same age and I asked her to come over and watch the two play together. Her son would do it and mine wouldn't. I never ever disciplined her son at all. Turns out she caught one of her older boys getting frustrated and then he would hit himself in the head. The youngest witnessed his brother doing this and started copying him.

The head butting thing I think is normal. She is massively frustrated because she wants to communicate with you desperately but has no way of getting the actions across. By the times shes three she will be a changed and loving little girl.

i thought i was gonna kill myself when my daughter was 2 because she drove me crazy. Now she can talk talk talk and she is so sweet and loving. psycho but sweet!

Also, shes not going to hurt herself, because if she does she'll remember and stop. My bother used to beat his head on the floor when he was two. The doctor told my mom to walk over him and ignore it. He stopped when he beat it on a concrete floor at my dad's shop.

Answer 8

I ignore it when my son does it. He's funny, he'll watch me from the corner of his eye and when he sees he's not getting any attention he stops, grunts a couple of times and then calms down. This show of aggression is just one of the few things that they can control in their little world. And don't worry about thinking you may have taught it to her by hitting her. I do not hit my son but he hits himself anyway.

Armi - she's only 2 she'll outgrow it. I would worry if she is still doing this at 4 though.

Answer 9

Ignore her, let her hurt herself and she will learn to stop. Every time you pay her attention for doing it you are giving her the reaction sh is striving for. Though you may say "no" or even spank her, by giving her that attention you are telling her to keep doing it because you show her that it works. Ignore it, act like you don't see it and when she cries after doing it you can simply say "I told you that would hurt, sucks don't it?" I have two healthy, happy, non-tantrum having children and it worked for me. Good luck!

Answer 10

my 16-month old does that. i try not to pay attention to it or overreact I just tell her to stop nicely and gently. She stops for a few minutes and start back up. I figure as long as she is not bangin her head up against the wall and really hurting herself that she will be fine. just a stage.