I love her dearly. I moved West she moved in with me, it wasn't long beofore I was supporting her and her boyfriend and dogs. After our lease was up I moved out and she moved back east with boyfriend. She has no respect for personal property, (ie she lets her dogs pee in peoples houses and makes huge messes and doesn't clean them up) And she gets mad if you confront her on anything. She feels she's owed severence for the bad stuff that happened when we where kids, all of us have talked about it and got everything out in the open long ago. I have moved on and healed and decided to live in the present not that past. My sister can't seem to do this. I also fear she is using drugs again. I have decided not to help her finacially anymore, since it only aids her doesn't help her. She is currently living in her car and got kickout from my moms for stealing. Im moving back east and know she will come to me. Am I turning my back on her by refusing to let her live with me or giving her $?
2006-07-08 14:18:11 · 8 answers · asked by penwater1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have these sorts of things in my family also. It is hard to put your foot down with a sister, particularly when they are on the skids, but you kind of need to.
If it was me, I would tell her that if she wanted to stay with me there would be ground rules and if she couldn't live by them she shouldn't come. If she breaks them she will be asked to leave - period. It's not that you don't love her, it's that you need to live life in your own way.
You can't be expected to suffer and be dragged down with her if she is going to allow her life to spin out of control. Once she hits her 30's she might mature enough for you to be able to relate to her better, but you are not a kid and you need stability and respect in your life. She is a big girl she should be able to take care of herself - and if she can't take care of herself, she should be thankful that someone will help her and be respectful enough to live by whatever reasonable rules are set forth. After all it is just meant to be temporary until she can get her act together, right?
Peace and good luck!
2006-07-08 14:28:34 · answer #1 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No Honey I have been there and done that to had a rough life and do not blame anyone. we all need to move on. Honey, I suggest you keep up the TOUGH LOVE she will get the picture later it will just take time. You just grew up sooner than she did. Remember to remind her that you still love her and that you will still be her best friend but remind her what she is doing wrong. tell her that when she stops walking all over every one she will get more respect. Tell her that the only way that is going to happen is when she realizes what she is doing wrong in her life. Tell her to accept God into her life and things will come a little easier. as God is there to help us every step of the way we just have to ask him for the help daily. and for you honey always know in your heart your love is the greatest thing that has happened for you. We can only take ONE DAY AT A TIME in GODS hands dear. May God bless you dear for trying hard to understand your sister.
PS I have a son that I have problems with and I hope and pray he is finally on the right track he recently enlisted in the military to help get his life straighten out, .and to help him grow up he is 26 years old, .he has 2 kids. My daughter on the other hand who is 28, but the poor thing has fought cancer for the past 5 years she has a little girl and has raised her on her own. She may be getting help from the state but she dose not asked for much help from me, God bless her. She is doing a great Job Feel free to e-mail me any time I will try to respond as soon as I can!
Your friendly NANA the quilt lady
2006-07-08 21:56:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you aren't turning your back, you are just not going to enable her to go on depending on people to support her. She needs to get a grip, and sometimes she has to run out of people first. She won't learn if you keep jumping in to take care of her. She might take awhile, get ready for a hard time, you might have to watch her go thru some difficult times, but love her anyway, just don't aid her.
2006-07-08 21:27:14 · answer #3 · answered by trainer53 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. If you want to help her financially, do it in the form of offering to help pay the cost of counseling or rehab. If she won't accept that or gets angry, then you know you would just be walking into and contributing to the problem.
Offer no more than the opportunity to help herself. It's a choice she has to make for herself.
2006-07-08 21:26:31 · answer #4 · answered by Dale P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She nuts! Don't give her any money. I'd say you don't get along with her, as good as you say you do. Don't move back east. YOur sister is only one of many reasons. Make her move in with one of her friends.
2006-07-08 21:23:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NONONO... she needs to get a grip on her life. There is NOTHING you can do to help her. You have obviously tried many times and got screwed for trying. There comes a point when you have to say enough is enough. Good luck :)
2006-07-08 21:23:00 · answer #6 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me that ur doing the right thing.I wouldnt giver her any money either.becuase if she is useing drugs agian. then who's to say thats she'd going to use the money for what she say's she needs it for.and not use the money to by more drugs.
2006-07-08 21:24:48 · answer #7 · answered by Angel sent from heaven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't helping her with $$$ or a place to stay.
You can't stop her from hitting rock bottom.
2006-07-08 21:23:35 · answer #8 · answered by Inframan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋