I'm 34, he's 33. We've been together for 15 months. He sold his house, and now is thinking about getting an apartment instead of moving in with me! Is there anything I can/should do to convince him to live with me?
2006-07-08 14:04:05 · 8 answers · asked by daisey1171 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
.
My heart goes out to you, because you've invested 15 months into this relationship that’s going nowhere, and will go nowhere.
He's using you. You are probably making it easy for him to do so.
He doesn't feel that his feelings for you go deep enough to commit to you, which is he does not want to give up any chance that
if something BETTER comes along, he wants a chance at it.
A friend of mine invested 10 YEARS into such a relationship, and after all that, they eventually broke up, because she wanted commitment and he never did with her.
Even if you could "convince him to live with you"; after that you'd never be secure in the relationship. This man is not interested in that with you.
Now, SOMETIMES a guy needs a nudge.
You have to be willing to lose him, which what do you have to lose anyway??? in order to see if he will get jealous over another man, and see what he has tossed aside like an old shoe.
Some such men don't know what they have, until they almost lose it.
But if he really doesn't love you enough, such a play could end the relationship, it might be the "out" he's been waiting for.
I don't know why your self-esteem is so low as to accept such a one-sided relationship that you have with this man. I know you want to be loved and cherished and taken care of and protected.
This man does not want to do any of that for you...not really.
Some other man might be out there right now, looking for you, but
he can't find you, because you're tied to this other loser now.
You must decide wisely, if you want to be happy in all the years to come.
stw
2006-07-08 14:17:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has his reasons for it, and it better to let him do it his way then try to force something on him that he DOES NOT want. Shacking is not always a good idea because it doesn't always end in marriage. Plus this way, when you have a disagreement and you are really feeling like you hate each other, there is an alternate route, he can go the h*** home!
2006-07-08 14:09:16 · answer #2 · answered by Dancer3d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that maybe he should get his own place and maybe you guy`s should start dating other people. Watch his face and his reaction if he says yes thats a good idea then it`s best he didn`t move in anyway. Or he`ll want to move in with you and tell you he doesn`t want to do that!! Maybe you guy`s should get your own place together. Maybe he wants to have a place just for you and him and start fresh!!
2006-07-08 14:13:26 · answer #3 · answered by bren_jim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't convince anyone to do anything they don't want to. Have you tried asking him why he does not want to live with you yet?
Maybe he likes living alone. Do you own your own property? maybe it is about that. But obviously he is just not ready to live with you yet. You need to talk to him about it without putting pressure on him. If he can't give you what you want, maybe you need to re-evaluate the relationship.
2006-07-08 14:10:09 · answer #4 · answered by having_a_blonde_day_lol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about moving in with him, or is that loosing to much control.
2006-07-08 14:15:18 · answer #5 · answered by Ibredd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he's hiding something that he does not want you to know or he is not yet ready for a "commitment" like a spouses type
2006-07-08 15:03:27 · answer #6 · answered by boovee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"he is not INTO you, honey".....come on!! They guy is practically taking out a front page ad that he doesn't want to be with you 24/7.....drop it!!! Move on....
2006-07-08 14:07:39 · answer #7 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should tell 2 him sit down with him maybe he does but he doesn't know if its okay with u
2006-07-08 14:10:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋