Should I tell my boyrfriend that I have been thinking about other men?

Question

I get bored easily in relationships, I don't know what to do.... he is kinda passive when it comes to relationships...But i will feel bad to get out of it... my family always asks if there is going to be a wedding, and they all seem to really like him... what should i do?

Answer 1

well ask yourself the same question. do you want to be with him or not? what your family thinks is important don't get me wrong but you should be more concerned with what you want. why would you feel bad about getting out of a relationship you clearly don't want to be in the first place? think things out and trully ask yourself what you want

Answer 2

First of all, lovingly, tell your family members that you appreciate their concern but that you would also appreciate if they were not as high pressure about pushing you into a relationship you don't feel as comfortable with. I do think you should tell this person that you feel that you would like to pursue other relationships. Explain that if your relationship is strong and that you are meant to be together that no other relationship will prosper. If though you are not meant to be together and you have doubts now it's far better to get that out now than to go ahead and either make a commitment you aren't really able or ready to keep or mentally get into. Communication is essential to any relationship but also mental understanding that both of you have expectations about the relationship that may not be on the same plain or level. I know it's hard to do but to be passive and go along with what every one else wants means you aren't controlling your life and you certainly will not be happy. You have to establish control in your life and be happy with who you are then examine what is is you are looking for and when it's right you will know it. Remember your family loves you but many times do not understand that they are adding stress to your life. Tell them you love them and you appreciate their concern for you but you need also to tell them it makes you uncomfortable and you would appreciate a little breathing space. Good Luck

Answer 3

The real question is do you want to continue to have a relationship with your boyfriend? Do you want it to be exclusive, or do you want to try other encounters? Just thinking about it is nothing. That probably happens to a lot of people in relationships.

However, I sense that you are looking for a way out of your relationship without feeling some sense of guilt over how he might react. If that is the case, you need to put that aside and have the conversation. There is nothing wrong with ending a boyfriend/girlfriend type of relationship. There IS something wrong with living with the pretense if it's eventually going to happen. Just something to ponder. Hope that helps.

Answer 4

sounds like you're bored of this relationship. him being passive is not going to change as it's part of his personality. maybe you need to figure out what relationships are interesting fun to you. it's the activities you do or the person you are with that defines a relationship, among other things. you know it's not working out for you you should part ways with him, regardless of what your family wants or thinks and what your boyfriend thinks, cause you'll be doing it to protect him. and it's a good move for you if the relationship isn't stimulating enough for you.

Answer 5

You need to decide what you want to do. Is it time to settle down and get married and (please the questioning family) is he ready blah blah blah...

Passive just means on his part that he is a bit shy. In that case it is not time to marry at all you both need to know exactly what you want in your lifelong partner and be happy with that.

Do you want to have and continue to have a monogomous relationship with this man, if so than draw his feelings out of him and show some more interest. If not than tell him it is time to see other peeps, see how he takes it, and either dump him and find somebody else or start goin out with different dudes too...

Good Luck, but do not cheat on him tell him how you feel no matter what.. sit him down speak your heart and mind...

Answer 6

Break up and move on...you're being unfair to him by allowing him to stay in a relationship where it's likely he thinks you're more into it than you apparently are...cut him loose so he can meet someone who won't get bored with him...

Maybe it's best for you to just date casually for a while...dating a variety of men would help keep you from getting bored, and be more fair than getting involved with someone, knowing you often get bored and want to bail, while they may be busy putting their heart into the situation...

You'll know when you meet a guy who catches your attention and you feel can keep your interest...until then, keep it casual and don't put yourself or the guys you date though the heartache of you getting bored and wanting to move on...

Answer 7

If you are thinking of other men,, you probably shouldn't be with your boyfriend. If this is because you get bored easily in relationships, then it ill take someone you really love to capture your heart. Leave your boyfriend and tell him why. Explain that it is not his fault, and that you should probably look for someone different.

Answer 8

Thinking about other men aren't the bad thing, acting on it is. Everyone has fantasies. However, girl you've got to look out for you. If you are not happy, don't keep wasting your time or his. He will appreciate the fact that you LOVE him enough to set him FREE. Someone out there will appreciate his boring a**.

Answer 9

If in your fantasies u think about guys then dont leave just yet. If you are considering persuing another relationship with different guys, then try to figure out what you really like in your boyfriend. Things like fantasies pass. Dont fret.

Answer 10

Not if you want to continue to have a boyfriend. But if you are bored of this relationship, maybe its time to find another. Someone is bound to keep your attention one day or another.