Why do religious people assume that non-religious people are amoral?

Question

My neighbor is a devout Christian, and my husband and I choose not to follow a religion. My neighbor doesn't want my 4 year old daughter to play with her 4 year old daughter because "our morals aren't the same". My husband and I believe in loving our neighbor, and have tried hard to be patient and kind to them, but have finally given up. We do have morals, and strong beliefs - just not religion. I always find religious people to assume I have no morals or strong convictions, and that irks me no end. Why is this the case?

Answer 1

Because they equate Christianity with morality. The two are inseparable in your neighbors' minds.

Personally, I think they're confusing "values" with "morals." You needn't prove your morality to them. I'd also caution stereotyping "religious people," because I certainly know some who aren't so judgemental. Good luck.

Answer 2

because most religions teach it's followers only the morals of their religion are true morals and thus anyone of a different set of beliefs is wrong. I sympathize with you I have a brother who is like your neighbor and has no life outside his church, I worry at the restraints this will place on his children when they are older to be socially limited. They act like this cause its "outside" the safe boundries they have been brought to follow and why so many flock to birds of the same feather to stay in those comfortable limits they're used to. My Religion is one of the last things I let a person know when we meet, I find it funny most assume I'm one of those goody two shoes christian girls next door cause my morals are the same as theirs or I fit that stereotype in fact when I do finally correct them and tell them I'm actually am pagan they often don't believe me at first then I pull out my star. Whats even sadder is when these people block themselves off like that they lose I believe a lot of the religions purpose and one of the reasons why I never follow those faiths. After all wasn't it Jesus whose actions made the point you Must be among the sinners to save them not preaching to the choir. I learned my morals watching the world around me and anything who does will notice they all teach the same thing. Don't kill Don't be unfair Do be kind Do help others whenever you can. Basically the Golden rule treat others as you wish to be treated.

Answer 3

Dear friend,

I am sorry that you have encountered this from a Christian. I personally think that this should not be looked at from a perspective as coming from a 'religious' person. If someone trully loves God then they love their neigbour. A fruit of having genuine love of God is love of neighbour. And if your neighbour had indeed a genuine love of God then they would show you the love and respect you deserve as a human being.

However, a soul must be prudent. I don't know maybe your neighbour has witnessed or knows of some immoral activity that really offends his family? I don't know? Only you can answer that question. Maybe this guy is a religious fanatic and believes that you are unclean in some weird manner... who knows.

I think in this particular case if it really bothers you ask the guy outright but gently! "What is it about my morals that offends you?" If it is some thing genuine, then maybe you should listen... But if it is some thing ridiculous and illogical then just smile and walk away. It is probally in your best interests not to get to close to the neigbour.

But overall I would still advise what you have been doing patience and kindness. Funny enough, St. Paul says "Love is Patient, Love is Kind, Love does not resent!" Straight from scripture! (ha ha). So in a sense you are witnessing more christian love to your neighbour by being patient and kind and not getting angry! If you keep on acting this way it will have some effect on your neighbour at some stage. Don't give up my friend! God loves you for your efforts!

Answer 4

Not all religious people assume this. However, devout ones often do. So this raises the question of what "devout" means in this context. Religion is a way of people to make sense of the world and gain a sense of community. What separates the devout from the rational is that they think that their religion represents truth. This has the implications that your set of values must be "lies."

The religiously devout, be they christians, jews, muslims, whatever, have a lot in common with the mentally ill in that they will resist any change to their world view regardless of the amount of evidence offered.

So, while their point of view may be infuriating to you and generally unhealthy, there is very little you can do about it. Remember that they are mentally ill and consider the fact that like most ill people, they are probably highly dysfunctional.

Answer 5

i personally don't understand why your neighbor would act like that its just 2 Lil girls playing with each other not like ya'll are going to brain wash her into going against their religion and if he would get to know ya'll he could see that you two have the same morals. if you have a religion or not more then likely your morals are the same as long as its being a GOOD person, wife, husband, father, mother, daughter, son ext. He's showing his daughter how to discriminate against others just because of religion. Just because you have a religion doesn't make your morals right or that you even have them like the priest that touched Lil boys. Your daughter will make other friends and hopefully your neighbor will see that he is only really hurting his child by not letting her make friends based on what he believes. So either have a really long talk with him "since all religion talks take forever" or just go on with your life like they aren't even there if possible.

Answer 6

Well, I think because they don't understand why you are behaving
in someway or the other. Choosing not to be religious you defined your own morality and it is a very very relative thing. You are not
bound by your own morality because you can redefine and change it
and in no way you are accountable to anyone except yourselves
and if you are the accusor,judge,prosecutor and criminal youself then the justice is questionable.
Some people who are religious also do immoral things. An analysis will provide the reason of their action. But that analysis can be done precisely because they do have some religious conviction which is absent in your case.

Answer 7

Because they think that the bible is the only source of morality and ethics and if you don't believe in God, then you have an innate absence of morals AND ethics. By saying that your morals are not the same, she is saying that she has them and you don't, which is crap.

Your neighbor has chosen to exercise their parental responsibilities by enforcing the brainwashing they are practicing and don't want their child to hear or learn anything other than what they teach them. It's easier for them to not let their child play with or be around anything that might say something that goes against their religion than to discuss anything the child might hear to educate them.

I must admit, I'm facing the same situation... my son would love to play with the child of an old friend of mine... but she is an Evangelical fanatic that believes in a young earth (that the earth is 6000 years old or less) and that Noah had dinosaurs on the ark (but baby dinosaurs, lest I think there was a space issue). I know my son... he's 6 and tends to believe anything an adult tells him. What if he hears this nonsense over there and then believes it and not me when I tell him it's not true, that science has proven otherwise over and over again? Your neighbors are feeling the same way... they are probably afraid you'll put their child in a chair and preach atheism to him/her because in your neighbor's mind, if you're not a Christian, you're a heathen atheist.

What Christians don't understand is that morality is something that every human learns, regardless of religious training. There are few if any moral tenets and precepts that only the Christians teach, moral precepts that nobody else brought to the world. The so-called Golden Rule isn't just Christian; it has been found in one form or another in just about every culture, so when people to invented religion and Christianity, it was only natural for them to attribute the Golden Rule to the Son of God. There's nothing wrong with that... but by doing so, they've decided they are the only ones who believe it and practice it.

Further, there is a huge movement to turn the 10 Commandments into full-out laws for our country. Sure, sure... several of them already are, but Christians don't see why everyone in the world isn't held to each and every one of these beliefs, including worshipping only their Christian god. There is another group right now who doesn't understand that and fanatics of THAT group are killing people right and left, including our troups that are fighting them.

As for me, these are my rules to live by... do they look familiar:

1. Have no gods.
2. Don't worship stuff.
3. Be polite.
4. Take a day off once in a while.
5. Be nice to folks.
6. Don't kill people.
7. Don't fool around on your significant other.
8. Don't steal stuff.
9. Don't lie about stuff.
10. Don't be greedy.

Remember, theists will condemn you for living by this code because you are doing it of your own free will instead of because you're afraid that if you don't a supreme being will set you on fire.

Answer 8

Oh this indeed saddens me - I cant judge your neighbors or you but you sound like great folks to me. I hope this does not turn you sour on all who have religion. Not all would behave so badly. I can say that there is good and bad in all walks of life regardless what they believe. Acceptance is a big factor many have yet to learn. Respecting others no matter what is also a big factor and sadly is not so popular. Try to learn from your experience and don't become so closed minded because the next Christan may not behave so rudely. I see you as a loving and caring good hearted soul and I feel you deserve some respect. best of luck.

Answer 9

I know exactly what you mean, although coming from well semi over the fence (and those pickets hurt like crazy) I can tell you that there are extremist in every religion (even Christianity) These Bible thumping, leaflet passing, door knocking individuals are what gives Christianity a bad name. They believe that spreading the word means they have to shove it down people's throats.

Trying to convert the world is what began the Crusades, which will go down forever in history as one of the bloodiest events in history. (an army of Christians marching across Europe, Africa, and Asia offering two options. Convert or Die) They didn't just kill people they would sever the heads of those who refused and place them on pikes stuck into the ground, so that other would see what happened to those who refused the christian beliefs.

Fortunately these modern day crusaders only annoy and waste alot of trees with pamphlets that fill up landfills. The down side is that they seem to ignore the most important messages in the bible. Love thy neighbor, and you don't need to believe in god, he believes in you.

These Uber Christian hypocrites give the entire Christian faith a bad name.

Answer 10

Because the religious faithful aren't totally interested in truth over what they feel and are spoon-fed. I hate to say this because my mother is a devoted Christian.

Religion may be widely responsible for athiests and agnostics to have the ethics that they do. For some reason, people use the belief in God to give them meaning and purpose. If people can be good and moral without God, many people's ways of viewing the world would be in jeopardy.

I would argue that abandoning the myths of man in relation to God gives people a greater chance for true morality and ethics. There is more compassion and love in logic and reason than in blindness.

Answer 11

Some religious people have incorporated the belief into thier life that in order to be moral they must only associate with people of thier same beliefs. This is sad to me because most religions promote compassion. The act of exclusion is not compassionate to me. It is also not very tolerant. I am not a christian anymore. One of the things that I do appreciate about the teachings and life of Christ was that he was compassionate towards all and treated all equally. This is one of the things I strive for in my daily life. The flip side to this question though is this,, If that is the way they act why would you want your daughter around them anyways? What they are doing is immoral in my opinion. Treat them with compassion and respect.