why are guys such idiots?

Question

i just wanted to vent. im 25 and am seriously considering dating either guys that at least 35 plus or women bc i SWEAR i meet nothing but idiots. i am an attractive, intelligent, successful female who has a good job, my own place, and i take care of my 3 yr. old daughter alone. i am independant and rarely ask anyone for help with anything. i get approached daily but 99% of the guys i meet are sexy losers. they r nice looking but either married, living w/someone,have a pile of kids, weird, have a criminal record longer than their arms, deadbeats, sex fiends, or something else off the wall. i am just wondering why is it so hard for a decent female like myself to find a good guy?do other females experiences this? and guys what are u actually looking for in a female? just a question i had to get off my chest.

Answer 1

Well I can understand your frustration. Alot of guys either run the other way when they hear you have a kid, or just want to get involved for the benefits. One of the big things is where your looking and/or getting approached. Very rarely are you going to meet Mr. Right in a club, bar or similar singles scene.

Another thing is that many nice guys are the shy ones who aren't going to approach or if they do, its indirect or casual. Many guys who are bold and approach so quickly are not looking for anything serious.

Additionally you mentioned that you are very independent and don't ask anyone for help. Many good guys want to help and care for the girl in their life. Its nothing male chauvenist or anything...its just part of being a guy to *protect* and care for their lover or family. By being so independent, you may be turning off these types of guys. By no means am I suggesting you sacrifice your strong spirit. It's GREAT to be strong and independent, but in a relationship, its also OK and even necessary to lean on your partner and be dependent on them emotionally and in dealing with lifes problems. The feeling should be mutual!!

I was in a relationship with a woman who was very independent and was so afraid of getting hurt that she'd convince herself that she didn't need me for anything. From my perspective that hurt big time. From the male perspective, men need to know that someone needs them for strength and support.

Answer 2

chocolatebee,
I think that I know what your problem is. But you left out some important parts of the story. You did say that you are attractive. But what are you attracted to?

At 25 years old you have a child. What kind of thing is that to a 25 year old man? Typically, I think most men would take it like the child was more complexity to a young relationship than they want at that age.

But that's enough of the problem. How about a solution?

Where are you living? What kind of environment are you living in? Who do you hang around with? How do you dress?

All these things can play into the court of uncomfortable encounters.

Here's one way to go about it, what does your mom say about you that maybe no one else dares to bring up? Do you dress sexy? Are you strutting when you walk? These are the things that make jerks think that you are inviting sex into your life. Not relationships that are healthy.

If you want any more from me, please e-mail me. I can't say that I'm an expert at all of this, I'm just offering you an answer. Believe me, I know what frustration is when it comes to relationships and everyone else seems satisfied with their brand of phoniness and using of each other.

Answer 3

Why is it women are attracted to sexy losers that are married, living w/someone,have a pile of kids, weird, have a criminal record longer than their arms, deadbeats, sex fiends, or something else off the wall?

Answer 4

Let's be truthful now.....academic intelligence is one thing, intelligence with regards to social skills is another. Be it guys or gals, complaints about attracting the "wrong type" has to be looked at from within. You need to try to understand why you are getting the wrong men. Or perhaps you only concentrate on good looking hunks and overlook the better "intelligent" matches that lack that sexy physique. No one can tell you what you should seek. It's up to you to accept the consequences in life based on what you choose. Good luck.

Answer 5

Wow! You say you are intelligent yet your grammar is total horsesh*t!? I wouldn't touch you for all the tea in China. Actually, I bet this is turning you on.... Look, all the crap aside, you seriously need to do some self reflective thinking before you claim you are all that and a bag of chips. Maybe "desirable" men are picking up that vibe from you and you don't even know you are broadcasting that wavelength of "hell-no- not her again".

Answer 6

U r mingling in the wrong crowd if you are hanging out at the neighborhood bar? most of them guys are 1 of the above. The best social scene for you to find a new guy at a job party or function.

Answer 7

I'm not qualified to answer. I married the first guy I had a kid with. HOWEVER...maybe you should consider a new location that has a higher population of successful men? Good for you for not settling for the dreggs of menhood. You are right to set a bar and not lower it for a curve.

Answer 8

Maybe you are ATTRACTED or ATTRACTING the wrong kind of men.

Don't tell me I don't exist, it's insulting.
On a serious note, Most of my male friends and myself fall under the classification of "good guys", maybe your just looking at the wrong qualities.
A guy who spends a lot of time looking in the mirror at himself is gonna be vain, and is most likely used to getting women, hence they treat them as such.

Answer 9

unforchently most of the men that approch you have little or no shame which is self explanitory. most o f the good guy's are either trying to make a living and respect others to much to try for a girl they think will have nothing to do with'em.

Answer 10

cause all they want is booty and sex 94% of men only want sex and 6% really love u so u better b carefull who your with u never know if some one will hurt u