what are some good jokes?

Question

jokes like yo mama jokes and knock knock jokes and other funny ones

Answer 1

The Parrot Boy

An old man is sitting on a bench in central park when a teenager with a rainbow hair-dyed mohawk spiked up like a punk rocker and a nose ring sits down next to him.

The man begins to stare at him for a long time in shock.

Then the teenager says, "What you looking at old man?"

The man replys, "Nothing, nothing."

Again the man begins to stare at him for a long time and the teen says, "What's your problem, old man, you never did anything crazy when you were a kid?"

The old man replies, "Yeah, the thing is when I was a teen I got real, real drunk and f_u_c_k_e_d a parrot, and I was thinking that you might be my son."

Answer 2

Your mom's so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion.

Your mom's so fat, when she dances the band skips.

Your mom's so fat, I have to take a bus a train and a cab just to get on her good side.

Your mother's so fat, her clothes have stretch marks.

Your mother's so fat, she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.

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Little johny's school is having show and tell, so the teacher starts a 'Guess Whats Behind My Back' game. She goes to her desk and picks up a item. She says, okay class, what am I holding, its RED, ROUND, and SHINEY. Little Johny replies I know teacher its an apple, The teacher replies, no little johny, But I like the way you think.
So the teacher goes gack to her desk picks up another item. She says, okay class, what am I holding now, its YELLOW, and SOFT. Little Johny replies I know teacher,its a bannana. The teacher replies, no little johny, its a tennis ball. But I like the way you think. At this point little johny is furious. Okay teacher, this one's for you, he stuck his hand in his pocket and said okay what am I Holding, Its ROUND, HARD, and has a HEAD. The teacher says, Little johny, go to the office right now, you are in trouble. Little johny replies, for what teacher, its just a quarter, but I like the way you think

Answer 3

A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."

Answer 4

Yo momma's so fat...

*She sat next to everyone in her class,
*She went in the sea, and the Whales sang "We are family,"
*She tried to get the equator as a belt,
*She needed a cinema all to herself,
That's all I've got.

Answer 5

Did you hear about the 16 year old girl who had 4 kids? she named them Adolp, Rudolf, Getoff and stay off!