Do you tell your autistic child he/she is autistic?

Question

Would telling someone they are autistic be helpful for them in understanding themselves or would it be detrimental for their personal development?

Answer 1

Hi There
That is not an easy question to answer. You have to take your cue from him. You need to ask yourself some questions.

Is he having a hard time coping with kids and is wondering why? Is he old enough to understand the concept?
and what it means to him or society?
How functioning is he and will he be indistinguishable except for a few oddities etc.
Will the label follow him forever - even if he becomes indistinguishable from his peers.
Do you care if it does and will he care.
Does the label negatively impact on him or services he could get
Does the label make a difference - is he treated better, are people going to treat him as a pity, etc.

The question is what are the implications of the label - negative or positive and is it necessary in the scheme of things.

He should know at some point but the question is when and only you can decide that - not teachers, peers, bullies, etc. just you.

Here is my story:
I didn't tell my son even when the teacher suggested it for fear kids would not understand why she paid him so much attention. I basically told her to stop singling him out - he is high functioning enough to cope with written instructions and basic prompting. I was not willing to have the kids have reasons to ridicule him or label his behaviors. However, the little bugger would hear me talking to therapist or the teachers about his Autism and he remembered what I said, however, he misinterpreted its meaning. He thought being Autistic meant he didn't listen very well. Because I usually told the camp or respite workers that he did things on his own time/clock -which would make it seem that he did not listen very well or that he was non-compliant. So at that point I had to explain to him that Autism meant that his brain worked differently and that he responded to things in a different way than most kids. He seemed to accept that and we did not press it or discuss any further. He now knows that he is Autistic at age 7, but he doesn't truly know what it means and he doesn't know the blessings and heartaches that come with that disgnosis, because I am not sure if it will make a difference to his friends and I don't want him worrying unneccessarily. That may be a hard lesson that he will have to learn. I want him to make friends but he truly prefers to play alone which makes it hard for him to understand that he has no friends coming over to the house because he doesn't play with them. He also does not like being called smart or being smart even though he is gifted. He always says that he doesn't want to be smart, but I think he wants to make friends and is trying with help. I don't think with all his smartness that he is ready to deal with his Autism, so I hesitate to bring it up. It's really up to you and if your son is ready.

Answer 2

It would begin when the child is born, you don't just wait till they are seven and say "Hey, your really different" . That would be detrimental. They would grow and understand and you would teach them how to handle the world and its reaction.

Answer 3

I told my son he is autistic simply for the reason of when he hears others asking "why is that kid "different"

Answer 4

Talk with a professional. Sometimes when one is labled it discourages them to try to achieve things in life. But on the other hand he may need to understand himself to acheive things in life. Talk with a professional. Don't talk to people who work in group homes as care takers they are not trained! Talk with a psycholgist. Hopefully you already have one that knows his personality.

No offense to care takers. I used to be one and we are not trained to give professional advice.

Answer 5

Absolutely you should tell them, everyone with a disability should be aware of it. it helps them understand potential limitations and if they are high functioning then they can help to educate the rest of the world...

Answer 6

i dont think so but you can try, their rational counsciousness is not where its supposed to bem but maybe they can understand some of what they are living