Im scared for my life. Help with my dads anger problem please?

Question

My dad gets mad at me A LOT.
Eventually he gets horribly mad at me.
He yells and cusses more then anyone i have ever known.
ALSO he throws things, not at me, but where they are dangerously colse to hitting me. He has even threw glasses on the ground, punched a hole in my door, and damaged my walls by throwing objects at them.
Everytime he does this I get scared for my life and this only makes him more mad and violent.
He also grabs me really hard and sometimes pushes me up against a wall, or hits my leg. He still spanks me REALLY hard even though im 15.
Also he talks constantly about how he sometimes just wants to hit me really hard and he tells my mom she should just beat the hell out of me, but she refuses and never does.
He often threatens to slap me.
When I tell him what he does is wrong he says he can do w/e he wants and its NOT wrong...but it scares & hurts me.
Hes a cop too.
What do I do?
I might die someday when he gets angry enough.
Please help me.

Answer 1

You asked this same identical question over a half hour ago, except that you have now added in that he's a cop. I certainly hope that this isn't some huge joke. I took a look at your q&a, you answered a whole lot of questions about hair and make-up (and most teenagers would not recommend Macys). Just seems to me that if you were in this much danger, you'd be on the phone trying to get help, instead of still being on the computer. there are children who are in desperate need of help, and if you are playing around, it makes it that much harder for the ones who really need help to be believed.
***** I just received an email from you. I tried to answer you but the email address that you gave doesn't work. Listen, I left home at 15 because of an abusive, alcoholic step-father. I know what scared is. Everyone on the first post was telling you to get out, get help. Everyone on the second post was saying the same thing. Instead, you were answering questions about hair and makeup in the same time frame. Not typical of someone who claims to be scared for her life. I do hope that you get the help you need, and that you are ok.

Answer 2

So in essence your dad has not hit you?

You know I come from both sides of the fence. And usually there are two sides to every story. I don't want to make any assumptions, but you say you are 15... Are you doing crazy 15 yr old things? Did he catch you smoking? Hanging out with the wrong crowd? Drinking? How's your report card?

I know it's hard to be 15 and you think your parents are against you, but although your dad is not exactly showing restraint by throwing things and cussing, it could be soooooo much worse.

We are only hearing your side of the story - and if he is acting this way without provocation - then of course it's wrong and you should tell someone - a school councelor etc... But before you start calling the authorities - think about what is setting him off. You absolutely need to get help if he comes home angry and starts in on you and your family, or if he acts this way after drinking (I don't even know if he drinks or not.)

I just want to say though, (and don't take this the wrong way) if you know your dad is just at his wits end and containing every fiber of his being to not step over that line because you did do something to infuriate him, calling the authorities can and will do irreprable damage to your family.

Your dad would be probably be suspended pending an investigation, or at least put on light duty. Every molecule of your family life will be investigated by child protective services, and you will probably be taken out of the environment pending the result of the investigation.

Answer 3

Wow, kid. I really feel for you. It's not going to be an easy road. You are right that what Dad does is wrong. Its called "domestic violence," and it is illegal. Your dad has a lot of knowledge about this which makes your situation more difficult. For example, it may be legal in your locality for him to spank you and even slap you with an open hand as long as he does not leave a bruise. He's not all that smart though. Holes in the door and damaged walls from throwing objects leave ample evidence of his illegal activities. I'm sorry that I have to tell you that something is also very wrong with your mother. She should not be accepting his behavior even once. I imagine she is also being abused and fears for her life.

There is no simple answer about what you should do. Most will probably tell you to go to the authorities immediately, and that is a good answer. Just be aware that you will be completely out of control of the situation as soon as you do inform the authorities. You will start a legal machine that you will not be able to stop. The best case scenario is that your father gets a warning, takes it seriously, gets some help, and changes his ways. The worst case scenario is that he gets charged, takes a plea bargain, gets out of jail in a day, has to attend domestic violence or child care classes, looses his job, decides to beat the hell out of you and your mom, and you end up bouncing between foster homes. There is no telling how it will go, and it will be beyond your control.

Another option might be to have a heart to heart talk with your mom. Do you have that kind of relationship with her? Share your fears with her, let her know that you know the situation is unreasonable, and ask what she thinks should be done. Ask her to explain why she tolerates this behavior in her home. Ask for her help and advice. Have her go to the authorities with you if that's what has to be done. Remember, she is probably getting abused too.

I'm sorry that you are in a position where you have to make some very adult decisions, but you are being forced to grow up fast. I hope others have better advice than I.

Hugs...

Answer 4

He must be reported, he is a very dangerous bully, why does your mother allow him to treat you like this? Is she scared of him too. Men must not ever, for any reason hit members of the opposite sex. Remember just because he is your father does mean you have to like him. You can choose your friends but not your family. He must have such a low opinion of females to treat you like this.He's bad. Take control you are much better than him, he's a rat !

Answer 5

Talk to your clergyman, go to a trusted friends parents, but tell someone.Sounds like your dad is ready to explode, You don't want to be there when it does. Send an anonymous letter to the chief of police mentioning your father and the situation. If he touches you again, call the police.

Answer 6

Honey you have got to speak to someone about this and ask for help. If your mum cant help you because she is too scared go and speak to a teacher at school, someone you can trust. Print off a copy of your question if you find it hard to explane or talk about, and let them read it. You have to tell someone, because it is not right for you to feel this way in your own home.

Good Luck.

Answer 7

Get out NOW. Just because he is a cop doesn't make him above the law. Tell everybody that you know including your teachers and principals whoever you can. If you can have evidence that would help also.
Contact me and let me help.

Answer 8

Please get help now! I went through a similar situation while growing up, once old enough I left home, joined the military which me gave tons of self-esteem and self confidence, and never went back home. There are many social service out their for you but first you need to get away from home quick, stay with family or friends. You need to tell someone about what is going on but please get help ASAP.

Answer 9

You should talk to your mom about going and living with a relative. If he hasn't hurt you yet don't hurt him by going to child protection (unless he has actually hurt you) give him a wake up call and give him a chance but get out of there. Give him a chance to change not a chance to hurt you.

Answer 10

ok,the only way to make him stop is to tell someone.if they do nothing,you give an extra change of clothes,toothbrush,anything else you might want or need to your closest friend,who lives pretty close,if you need to run away,then you do.at night or after school,just make sure not to give any hints at ALL.thats what happened to my cousins frind.trust me.good luck,i hope things change for the better