How do you get your young children to stop using bad language?

Question

When my boys of 6 and 8 started public school......and at the same time started playing with the neighbors older son (who is a very nice kid, but using the language that a 12 year old uses)......my kids started to think it was so amusing to start using bad words. They constantly are "slipping" and it infuriates me!!! I've tried punishment, I've tried calm explanation of how it makes you sound "not smart" and trashy, how it's not funny. But it's like Pandora's box has been opened and that's it. They are so young to be using these words!!! What do I do?

Real advice from parents please.

Answer 1

I found that soap works. With my kids (3 boys, 1 girl One of my boys is 8 and my daughter is 6) you can talk until you're blue in the face and good luck for you. My kids respond to action and the threat of action. My oldest was my example. Bad words out of the mouth get soap in the mouth. I use a tiny bit of liquid on the tip of my finger and make sure to get it on the tongue if possible for the ultimate in effectiveness. I know it sounds harsh, but it works. It sucks to have to establish boundaries this way, but at this age they really are not listening to reasons why. It's fun, it's fun, what? soap? Well, it might not be as fun as we thought. I also do not believe in substitute words because you still know what they are subbing for. I tried that too, it drove me crazy listening to shoot all the time. I also incorporated other words into the bad word list, like stupid. They can say something is stupid (like a movie or action) but it cannot be directed at a person (can't say someone is stupid) or the same rules apply. I got tired of it and became Hitler. Now none of my kids use bad words at all. Of course each one has to try on the behaviour to see what will happen. As long as you act consistantly (the main key no matter what method you choose) you can get rid of unwanted behaviours. Also, I think that not allowing people to use bad words around your kids is BS. Your children have to learn that they control their own behaviour no matter what anyone around them is doing. You cannot control everyone in public. My children are exposed to people who curse on a daily basis because of my work. I cannot keep them away from these people without offending them as they are clients and I have a family oriented business, and I cannot ask them to curb their cursing as it is so deeply ingrained in their personalities. Your children must learn that they alone choose their actions and they alone will have to pay the consequences of those actions. This lesson will help them throughout their lives. It will especially help them to take responsibility for their own actions instead of blaming others for them as so many people out there do. After all, you don't want people pointing the finger at you if your boy decides to trot off and rob a bank, do you?

Answer 2

I was always a firm believer in the soap method. that is until one day I got a call from the school that my son was writing these words on a computer! So how do I soap his fingers? couldn't. First i had to investigate where he learned these words. If you ever pay any attention to your kids you'll figure it out. Find the root of the language and make it disappear. if its a certain program on TV that he loves, well he just lost his privilege of watching that show. If its the older boys down the street? Well sorry you cannot play with them now, until you learn some self control. I am not saying shelter your kids.. Cause they'll learn it anyway, just monitor them.. YOU are the parent. its your responsibility. If all else fails.. A good ole butt whoopin should do it. Plus you'll here them complain of diarrhea from the soap if you use it too often

Answer 3

Have you tried guilt? I know this probably sounds bad, but when my little ones started being around other kids who used foul language I heard them use it when they thought they were playing unobserved. So we went through the whole those are bad words, they mean this & that but using them makes you look unintelligent etc... etc.. I got the whole we're sorry mommy, won't do it again, only to hear it more. Punished them, no help. So I did the guilt thing. Acted sad and cried in front of them the next time I heard them using it, and said I must be a really bad mommy because even though I try to teach them right, they aren't behaving that way. Soon they were crying and promising never to do it again. The next time they were outside playing with their cousins, who were cursing, my children told them to stop saying that and they wouldn't play with them anymore if they did. When one of the cousins wouldn't stop they all left him to play alone until he did stop. When I asked them about it that night, they said they didn't want to ever make me sad again. Hopefully it'll work that well when they are teens.... lol.

Answer 4

do not use bad language yourself, do not allow friends to use it around the children and take them to church to learn a better language in any situation. chastise and correct the children when you hear them use bad language.give positive rewards for appropriate language but do not over do it. make sure the reward is something the child feel is worth working for. set a time frame for the positive behavior ex. 2 weeks no bad words, then extend the frame after the first reward is earned.be sure no bad words behind your back if possible before rewarding. be sure to give the promised reward when earned. give verbal strokes daily when no bad words are used. be sincere with your approach.be matter of fact, tell the child the reward and the consequences for this behavior, do not give the reward if it has not been earned or you loose the battle. stop them from hanging around with the nice kid that they are learning the words from;without adult supervision to monitor behavior,.and if his parents do not mind try encouraging him to stop using bad words. good luck to you.

Answer 5

I new all the bad words as a kid but never used them around my parents and still don't. Slipping should only occur like 1 month. otherwise it's not slipping. Explain that you do not want to hear the words (don't tell them while they are swearing but at a time they are not) and explain what the consequences will be. Also, don't swear either.

Answer 6

First of all--Washing their mouths out with soap is now a form of child abuse(not that I am judging just educating) I use Tobasco sauce! I also explain that if they use four letter words all the time, it makes them look dumb and that they do not have a vocabulary. I am a firm believer in punishment...Take things away. I took my son's baseball game away or I give them extra chores without allowance. I have even called the cops to explain how things they are doing are not cool and could make you end up in jail.

Answer 7

I have seen people absolutely appalled at the idea of washing out the mouths with soap, i think this is the best method. It gives me a laugh when i see people going on about poisons in the soap blah blah blah yet these people think it's o.k to belt there kids and fill there bodies with all types of junk food.
A bit of soap in the mouth is not going to harm them. They are not eating it and the will spit it out. The more they use the language the longer you leave it till they can rinse their mouths out with water to get rid of the taste. If you do worry about hte impact of the ingredients on your kids....easy solution...use a natural product soap. Bet they will stop soon enough

Answer 8

I'm not a parent but i have heard trying and finding your child's currency works! Like if you boys like playing video games! Every time you hear ytour child use a bad work, take away the video games for some time!
OR, if you have them on some sort of allowance, have a swear jar or just take away 50 cents of a dollar every time you hear them say a bad word!
I always got tobasco on the tongue when i swore in front of my parents! When i started liking tobasco i got soap!
Maybe try implementing other words they can use, like silly, or crazy, flippin, shoot!?
Good Luck!

Answer 9

My son is eight and we have been through the swearing thing. The people across the street are very loud and very foul, we can hear them in our house. Anyway, yesterday for example he heard them say something and he reapeated it and I told him flat out that it's a bad word and I don't want to hear it again.

Your boys are looking for a reaction, they know if they swear that you are going to get upset. Let them know you don't want to hear that kind of language and if they continue then you start taking things away (video games, playing with friends, etc.).

My son knows which words are appropriate and which ones aren't and knows darn well that if I hear him using them he's in big trouble. I follow through with what I say I am going to do.

Answer 10

I told my son that it hurts people's feelings when he says words like that and that he won't have any friends because people don't like other kids who say those words. Also don't allow them to play with the neighbor's kid anymore. Hopefully this is just a phase that they will outgrow. I'm sorry, I wish I could be more help. Good luck!